by Christina Mehr
The best piece of advice my mom has ever given me is to trust my gut. Intuition is an amazing thing and as a highly sensitive individual, I have finally come to appreciate the signals my body tells me.
Sometimes, we can’t explain why we get these strong instinctive hunches. The uneasiness in your tummy or the tightness of anxiety in your chest. Even when we don’t have all the information, our gut can lead us in the right direction. There’ve been a few situations where this has saved me.
Recently two people very close to me, one being my cousin and the other my best friend, kept a secret from me. They had begun having romantic feelings for each other and instead of telling me, began sneaking around with their exciting new relationship.
Over the course of the next six months, I began to notice a shift in dynamics. People on the outside of a relationship can usually tell something is happening before they even know it themselves. Before the advance in their relationship, I knew I was a priority in this trio, being the one who introduced the two in the first place.
My friends around me would comment on their closeness, asking if I thought they were anything more than friends. I defended them to everyone who asked me what was going on, trusting that my cousin and best friend would be telling me the truth.
My entire family and friend group noticed how they had become increasingly close, even to the point where she was coming over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, being included in family plans without me knowing about it.
When I started specifically asking my best friend about it, I was very quickly gaslit and manipulated into doubting the things I was noticing and the way I was feeling. They kept assuring me that nothing had been going on.
Things came to a head on New Year’s Eve, when I witnessed them sharing a kiss and began pushing me off to the side. Since I wasn’t getting the truth, I looked through my best friend’s phone and saw messages that confirmed my initial feelings. This reassured me that I was not delusional and that my feelings were justified. I was not just making things up.
I now know to never second guess the way I’m feeling. When I get that pit in my stomach and my mind begins to run, I take a second to validate the way I’m feeling. I believe gut feelings are a result of our subconscious mind processing information and making quick judgments, protecting us from what we already may have suspicions of.