The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: sexuality

  • Good vibes at Good Relations

    Good vibes at Good Relations

    by Alana Hackman

    Nestled away in Old Town Eureka on 2nd and D street is Good Relations, Humboldt County’s very own independent lingerie and sex store. Founder Linda Meyers began the company in 1983 while attending Humboldt State University for mathematics before changing her focus to psychology.

    “I was going to be a junior high school math teacher way back then, and then I realized I would probably wind up getting fired because I would drive a kid to the [sexual health] clinic,” Meyers said. “So I just decided to skip that part and go immediately to the next career.” 

    Meyers is a fourth-generation Humboldt State graduate. She attended elementary school in Gist Hall because her father taught at Humboldt State. Meyers graduated from Humboldt State in 1988 with a bachelor’s in psychology and got her Doctorate in psychology in 1994. She also lectured for 25 years in the psychology and Multicultural Queer studies department up until 2017. 

    Adorned in a golden labia necklace and sporting dark red painted nails, Meyers welcomes all customers in her Eureka store with her beaming smile. Good Relations opened its first store in the early 90s after Meyers wrapped up nearly 1000 of her own “pleasure parties”. Meyers compares these parties to the Tupperware parties of the 1980s, where she would bring her basket of sexual health goodies to different houses for those attending to buy.

    “It was all word of mouth,” Meyers said.  “Usually I knew somebody who had referred me.” 

    Good Relations was an at-home company in its foundational years until the first storefront opened in Arcata in 1995. A second location was opened in Eureka in 1998, and is now the only open location. This year, the store will be celebrating its 40th anniversary.

    Meyers is grateful for Good Relations giving her the ability to have a free schedule within her work life, especially when she was still attending school and raising her children. Meyers mentions opening her first store was the result of her eldest son asking why there were penises on a shelf in their spare bedroom that Meyers worked out of. 

    Good Relations is focused on sexual education and creating a welcoming atmosphere for any curious or experienced customers that walk in. Meyers mentioned accessibility and diversity is the main focus within the company from differing skin tone options for lingerie, custom corsets, and lingerie sizes up to 5x and up if needed. 

    Photo by Alana Hackman | Handblown glass buttplugs for sale at Good Relations

    “Auntie-ing people is in my nature, it’s in my culture, it’s in every cell of my body, and the nice thing about having a place like this is it’s very appropriate to auntie people, right,” Meyers said. “Aunties will kind of tell you what you need to know, even sometimes if you don’t really want to hear it, so we tell the truth. We educate the stores as a front for sex-ed and always has been.” 

    Good Relation’s success for the past 40 years can be attributed to Meyer’s efforts to bring in a well-trained staff and make sure they are knowledgeable in all topics around sexual wellness and education, as well as consent.

    Abby Beha, an employee of Good Relations, mentions the three-month-long training of videos, pamphlets and tests is a crucial part of employment, but is necessary for trying to help people have better sex lives. 

    “I just want them to feel welcomed, and that they can ask any question without feeling that they’re gonna get made fun of or ridiculed,” Beha said. “Everyone starts somewhere and we’re just here to help.” 

    A new employee, Gabrielle Castro, has only been working at Good Relations for a month after a second try at applying for the position and is grateful for the opportunity to help others.

    “I really do believe that personal human pleasure is a basic right,” Castro said. “Everyone should have the opportunity to experience what they want to experience before their deathbed and shouldn’t have to wait till they’re in a retirement home partying their ass to be able to do it.”

  • Cumming together on the quad

    Cumming together on the quad

    by Carlos Pedraza

    Dildos, cock rings, and ropes, oh my! With the cooperation of the Peer Health Center, Check it, and Queer Humboldt, The Womens Resources Center hosted “Kink on the Quad” on Monday. Sex positivity was the theme of the event; it promoted open discussion of sexuality, sex education, and just plain sex, with an emphasis on violence prevention and LGTBQ+ identity. 

    There were mutiple sex-themed games for attendees, featuring pin the dildo, porn hole, and condom kerplunk. Students seemed distinctly unhesitant while holding a dildo to pin onto the image of a vagina, or when throwing bean bags into cardboard vaginas labeled with the names of popular porn categories.  

    Isabela Acosta, the Head Coordinator of Sex Health Body Politics at the WRC, did notice a difference between how students interact with the activities.  

    “Women are way more open to this,” Acosta said. “Men are so guarded and stuff.” 

    Tables covered with red table cloths had condoms, rows of sex toys and dildos pointed high in sky waiting to be grabbed. Acosta described how some students were very supportive, while others were weirded out by the dildos. Acosta wants students and people in general to be more open about sex. 

    “Just be comfortable,” Acosta said. “I know you’re having sex, we all do.” 

    Check-it and Students for Violence Sex Prevention were there to educate, not just about safe consensual sex, but also about preventing sexual violence. 

    Check-it focused on informing students on the 3D’s. The 3D’s are methods for helping someone get out of a harmful situation. They stand for “direct, delagate, and distract.” The groups saw the event as a way to open discussion on sexual violence.  

    “It opens the door for more in-depth conversation, for survivors to understand what consent is,” said the Students for Violence Sex Prevention team.

    Queer Humboldt hosted their own game to educate students on sexual identity. The game involved identifying celebrities, historical figures, and activists, along with their connection to the LGBTQ+ community. 

    “A lot of the time most people have no idea these figures are in the LGBT community,” said Avery Sidonia, a volunteer with Queer Humboldt. 

    Sidonia called the event awesome; she was excited for it since it combined fun and education in a way that got people interested. 

    “Kink on the Quad” ended with a raffle of sex toys. A huge, boisterous crowd gathered in anticipation of hearing their name and winning a free sex toy

  • We Still Need to Talk About Consent

    We Still Need to Talk About Consent

    Consent is crucial, but some just don’t get it

    Sexuality, sex awareness and sex etiquette are constantly in the spotlight, and yet, we still need to talk about consent.

    Humboldt State University recently experienced a disruption in its supposed safe space when allegations arose against a faculty member by a student. The investigation into that case is ongoing. Unfortunately, violations against consent aren’t limited to our own campus.

    Convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein’s case reveals consent still isn’t understood in the modern world. Weinstein was convicted of taking advantage of and sexually assaulting multiple women.

    Regardless of the circumstance, consent is crucial.

    Consent isn’t complex, but its idea continues to perplex those who fail to understand its simplicity. Yes means yes, and nothing else qualifies as a confirmation unless a yes is explicitly given.

    Affirmative consent needs to be practiced, not just by sexually active people, but by all people, whether or not it pertains to sexual activity. The ability to revoke consent also needs to be understood.

    Consent is far from a one-and-done response. It can be withdrawn at any moment.

    Even in professions where one uses their body for monetary gain, the right to revoke consent at any time remains. The refusal to take further action is linked to the right to control one’s body without interference from another.

    Everyone is born with this right. This universal entitlement to ownership of one’s body transcends all differences between individuals. All communities are entitled to their own bodies and to define consent in their own ways.

    In cases where verbal consent isn’t an option, written consent can suffice. Those in deaf and nonverbal communities can look to signing or reading a partner’s physical signals to help prevent confusion and facilitate mutual, nonverbal consent.

    It’s important to remember proper sex etiquette at all times. The following examples illustrate the ways in which consent is given and revoked:

    • Always ask your sexual partner if they’re ready and willing to engage in a sex act, without coercion.
    • You should cease sexual activities when someone says “Stop” or any other iteration of “No.” Expressing discomfort with an act is also a sign of hesitation, and should be considered before proceeding.
    • Anyone can withdraw consent at any time, even when a sex act is underway.
    • You should only engage in sex when all parties involved are in a coherent headspace, without the involvement of drugs and alcohol.
    • Body language doesn’t indicate consent to an act. Sexual arousal isn’t confirmation.
    • Do not use your position of power to persuade someone into any type of sex act. Professors, bosses, managers and even counselors have a responsibility to conduct themselves professionally, without sexual desires or encounters.

    Regardless of the circumstance, consent is crucial. You can never be too presumptive when asking about someone’s comfort, and you can never be too cautious when verifying consent.

  • Letter to the editor in response to “40-day anti-abortion protest begins in Eureka”

    Letter to the editor in response to “40-day anti-abortion protest begins in Eureka”

    Dear Editor,

    Regarding the Lumberjack article about the 40-Day Anti-Abortion Protest – HSU students need to know that not all religions or religious leaders believe that human sexuality is evil and something to be ashamed of. They need to know that some ways of faith regard sexuality as a blessing to be carefully and thoughtfully enjoyed between people as a way of communicating and sharing love – even if they aren’t married and even if they aren’t heterosexual.

    Like fire, human sexuality can, of course, hurt people both emotionally and physically. As people learn how to express their sexuality and share it with others, they learn by trial and error. Some religions shame people about this reality. Other religions offer factually accurate information and encourage people to make thoughtful and caring choices in keeping with their own deep values.

    The United States is a secular nation that works to guarantee freedom of religion for all its citizens. People whose faith calls them to abstain from all sexual activity before marriage or to abstain from birth control and abortion are free to follow the dictates of their hearts. And people whose faith or whose approach to life allows them more freedom around their sexual expression are also free to do as they see fit.

    Some religious people would like to do away with respect for religious freedom when it comes to human sexuality. But they do not speak for all religious people. Clergy for Choice is a group of interfaith religious leaders who support men and women in carefully finding their own way regarding their own sexuality. Clergy for Choice supports the compassionate and highly professional work of Planned Parenthood.

    So while some religious people practice 40 days of protest to end abortion and to end religious freedom around human sexual expression, other religious people practice a lifetime of supporting Planned Parenthood and thorough and effective reproductive health care for people as they make their own choices in this vulnerable and tender aspect of their lives.

    Sincerely,

    Rev. Bryan Jessup
    The Humboldt Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
    PO Box 506
    Bayside, CA 95524 – Phone: 707 822-3793