Trying to self Heal in a Time of a lot
By Alina Ferguson
Hey you,
So… you’re not a Superhero or a world famous writer. You’re not really anything, you just sort of exist?
You’re sort of a smart-ass, but don’t worry, life puts you in your place. Let’s be real though, you will always be a smart-ass. You don’t dance anymore. Don’t worry, that was never really your dream and you said it yourself you’re not really good at it, but you sure do miss it.
In fact, most of your dreams have not panned out yet. You’re 25 and you haven’t discovered you’re actually a secret witch and so, to protect yourself you have to run away with a handsome vampire — nor have you discovered a rare treasure.
Get more involved. You live so passively. Don’t be afraid to do things. Whatever interests you, go out there and just do it. You can’t live your life if you are just watching it passively. You discover many things later on in life, that you could be good at if you tried earlier.
You have new dreams now, ones you would not have even thought about at your age. These are realistic dreams, ones you can actually accomplish.
If you think being nice to yourself is a lot of work, healing from the self-hate is so much more work.
You need to make sure you build a backbone. Being a nice, friendly person is NOT a personality and it is NOT the job of your friends to grow a spine for you. Lucky for you, you have amazing friends and they will be there for you while you grow the backbone.
I know I sound cynical and sad, but I am not.
I have seen so much beauty, pain, joy, sorrow. You will laugh a lot, cry a lot, and have very low opinions of yourself. You will think you are not a writer, that you’re not meant to be because so many people are better than you. But, you will be you, and you will celebrate them and be happy for them, while inside, you are being your biggest hater.
You have learned so much, things you never thought you would learn. You have explored the world, explored yourself. Maybe explored some fun substances.
You are you and that is honestly such a gift. You have really grown. You do not think you are better than everyone else. You have more confidence than you did, and it grows more everyday.
You can keep going and you will. It’s a bit hard right now — I am writing to you in my senior year of college, which is wild — but it will improve because you want it to.
Sincerely,
You in the future
Be First to Comment