By Eli Farrington and Noah Pond

Dimly lit fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling as the unromantic scent of beans and gasoline wafted through the air. It was Valentine’s Day, and sophomore mechanical engineering major Jaimie Lerma was on her first date with her highschool boyfriend. 

“I wanna say I was like 16 or 17,” Lerma said. I got taken to a burrito place next to a gas station, and his mom gave him money to pay for the both of us, and then he made me pay for myself so that he could keep the extra change. We also got Build-A-Bears afterwards and I had to pay for both of them.” 

Lerma’s first date gone wrong resulted in a three year high school relationship, but despite her underwhelming past with Valentine’s Day, her experiences have not all been bad. 

Nowadays, Lerma is in a happy relationship with her current boyfriend, who she describes as very sweet. Her favorite Valentine’s Day memories include beachside picnics and fun adventures with him. 

Some folks don’t have a particularly bad date to look back on, but instead a lack thereof. The dean of arts, humanities, and social studies, Jeff Crane is in this boat. 

“Does having multiple lonely valentines without a girlfriend or partner count?” Crane said. “Many sad lonely valentines.”

Luckily for Crane, he has happily spent the past 30 Valentine’s Days with his wife, and won’t have to go through one of those lonely days ever again. 

Like Crane’s, some stories start off slow and build towards a happy ending, but for one Cal Poly Humboldt student who requested to be referred to as Alex, his experience was the complete opposite. 

Alex’s date started off strong, with a trip to the beach, ice cream, a pit-stop at an arcade, and then a nice dinner. 

“It was like a triple date. Honestly, it was on its way to being the best first date.”

The date began to take a turn for the worst when the pair decided to go on grinder together as a joke and look at other people in their vicinity. 

“I was on, you know, Grinder next to him and he was [too]. We were talking to each other, like, as a joke, and then someone pops up zero feet away, and we’re like ‘Sure, what the hell.’” 

The trio wound up in Alex’s car, with Alex sitting in the driver’s seat and his date sitting in the back with their new addition. 

“So I invite this man into my car,” Alex said. “And I was not feeling it, and I thought, you know, he would maybe take the hint, but you know what — he [Alex’s date] just ended up getting fingered in the back seat of my car while I was scrolling on TikTok. The other guy didn’t wanna finger [my date] with his own spit because he didn’t have any lube or whatever. I was like ‘whatever’ and then I went and got lotion out of my bag just so that he could finish and I could get the other guy out of my car.”

Some first dates are so bad that they just can’t seem to end soon enough. This was the case for Alex. Even though he and his date never saw each other again, they still send each other Instagram Reels. 

Eli Farrington is the opinion editor, and Noah Pond is the managing editor for The Lumberjack. In their free time, they like to encourage and support each other in becoming the intelligent, creative, and passionate men of tomorrow.

By Ursula Newman

For the last four decades, Good Relations has been more than just a place to buy sex toys and lingerie. Founded by former Humboldt State University professor and clinical psychologist Dr. Melinda Meyers, the space has been a trusted community resource, chock-full of sex education, body positivity and inclusivity. 

As a student at Humboldt, Meyers attended a home-based pleasure party — like a Tupperware party, but with toys — at a friend’s house. The presenter, Susan Anderson, was a nurse practitioner and women’s health specialist. Meyers was surprised by how educational the experience was, and soon began working at the company with Anderson. Within just a few months, she realized people needed lingerie. 

“The most affirming sex-positive thing for everybody is not the same thing, and I wanted to have a broader range,” Meyers said. “So, I started my own company in 1983.” 

After two thousand successful parties, she opened the first Good Relations store in Arcata. In 1994, she began teaching in the psychology and critical race and gender studies departments at Humboldt, and did so for 25 years. Meyers also worked as a licensed clinical psychologist for 16 years before retiring in 2021. During the pandemic, much of her time went into planning and designing the current location of Good Relations. In Nov. 2023, the store moved down the road and into the new space located at 329 2nd St. Today, it continues to serve the community by providing a welcoming, judgement-free space to explore pleasure, wellness and self expression. 

Meyers and her small team fill the store with care, looking out for products and brands that are sustainable, gender and size-inclusive, made in the United States and BIPOC, LGBTQ+ or women-owned. By being intentional when bringing products into the store, they are able to cater to all bodies and gender expressions. 

“I think people dress in ways that feel sexy to them, and or affirming to them,” Meyers said. “And sometimes feeling sexy is affirming, and sometimes the other way around. Part of feeling affirmed is being able to feel sexy. Our store definitely skews fem, but I have plenty of masc stuff, and fem and masc things that fit pretty much all bodies.” 

Because of her background, and with help from the store’s code of conduct, Meyers has a strong relationship with customers and values their discretion. When you enter the shop, a sign reads: ‘Good Relations is an anti-racist, anti-sexist, LGBT+, and sex-positive business that celebrates diversity and aims to create a safe and comfortable place for everyone to shop.’ Their code of conduct is outlined stating: ‘Do not touch, comment about, or make sexual advances to anyone in our store. Shaming someone’s interest you don’t understand is disrespectful. This is a store for adults. Please act like one.’ 

“People’s business is people’s business,” Meyers said. “Especially right now, it has to be discreet — it just has to be.”

In a small town, being a trusted business is important. Meyers stressed that a lot of work has gone into establishing that Good Relations is there as a resource.

“We work to stay within what our community is comfortable with,” Meyers said. “The store goes mild to wild. If you’re walking by with grandma and the kids, you’re not seeing anything in the back. We do that intentionally, and as a result we’ve never had any issue.”

Good Relations focuses on providing an enjoyable shopping experience for all. To stay accessible, there is a range of price points —with good, better, and best in every category. 

“I’ll always have 5 for $25 panties,” Meyers said. “Some of the panties in there will work on people who are tucking. There’s organic cotton in there when I can get it —that’s how we try to meet college students’ and other lower-income people’s needs.” 

Talia Block, a sophomore at Cal Poly studying psychology, noted the reasonable prices and supportive atmosphere. 

“I had a great experience there, they are so helpful,” Block said. “I went there the first time that I wanted to buy a sex toy, and they were so informative, kind, and helpful.”

When Good Relations started, advertising methods were much different. Meyers used advertisements on broadcast TV around 1996 that showcased and celebrated different bodies, and promoted inclusivity. The messaging of the store was unique. It was the only sex & body positive, education-focused store that Meyers knew of. 

“41 years into this, I still love it,” Meyers said. “I think now, contributing to that is the fact that I’m not alone anymore.”

Meyers offered a few suggestions to those who’ve never visited a sex shop before. Bringing a friend might help if you’re nervous, or check on Google and see when the shop is less busy. On the opposite side, come out during Arts Alive! on the first Saturday of every month. Blend in with the crowds, look at the monthly art on the walls, and browse the store. 

Good Relations strives to uphold its commitment to normalizing discussions on pleasure and wellness. Its doors are open to everyone, every day of the week.

“Don’t be afraid and don’t be ashamed to say, ‘yes I want this,’ and ‘no, I don’t want that,’” Meyers said. “You get to like whatever you want — you’re not hurting somebody else, you don’t have to earn the right to pleasure. Sex is healthy and pleasure is good for you.”