The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: dating advice

  • Ask Evergreen: Single and Seeking

    Ask Evergreen: Single and Seeking

    Ask Evergreen is a weekly advice column by the students of The Lumberjack

    Dear Evergreen

    How do I meet people without using online dating apps?

    Dear single and seeking,

    People still find connections through real life interactions despite the prevalence of dating apps.

    Although the existence of dating apps can help speed up the connection process, it’s desensitized many of its users to meaningful connections. Nevertheless, you can navigate through the chaos of cuffing season—or the season in which people pair up—without the digital drama.

    If you are completely against using the web to find love you’ll have to start putting yourself out into the world and approaching people. Start striking up friendly conversations with people at your favorite coffee shop or while you’re on your next hike in the Arcata Community Forest.

    While it may seem brazen to talk to strangers, you’re getting into an immediate conversation rather than thinking of a pickup line or waiting for them to make the first move on an app.

    This way may require thicker skin to deal with face-to-face rejections, but it also helps you learn the art of conversation and confidence.

    Don’t be ashamed to approach someone in real life, but don’t intrude on someone who looks like they would rather not be bothered.

    While you don’t need an app to tell you who to like, dating apps do help you to know who is available while also giving you a faint glimpse into the personality of a possible partner.

    Many online dating users intend to seek sex and nothing more. However, if you’re searching for a more meaningful connection, dating apps can still help. You can also find connections through the internet on places other than dating apps—just be cautious.

    As a student, you’re in a prime location for eligible singles. It’s just a matter of figuring out who’s looking for the same thing as you.

    If you haven’t already, explore a dating app just to see who is out there. Maybe someone from a class or a regular at your favorite coffee place is seeking too. You won’t know who’s out there until you look.

    If you are inclined to keep things organic, try to hang out in the library more often or sunbathe in the art quad.

    If all else fails, ask some trustworthy friends to set you up on a blind date.

    Good luck!

    Sincerely, Evergreen

    If you have any questions you’d like to send in, email us at contactthejack@gmail.com. We won’t publish any names and you don’t need to use one.

  • Ask Evergreen: Stuck in the Middle

    Ask Evergreen: Stuck in the Middle

    Ask Evergreen is a weekly advice column by the students of the Lumberjack.

    Each week we’ll answer anonymous questions sent in by readers about anything and everything.

    Dear Evergreen,

    Should I just sleep with the two guys coming after me even though they have girlfriends because no other men like me?

    Dear Stuck in the Middle,

    You sure got yourself caught in crossroads with this one, but don’t fret. The best thing to do is cut off connections with both men, and here’s why:

    You shouldn’t facilitate the poor decisions of two men in any manner. Even if you don’t want a relationship from these men you should consider how their attitudes and treatments towards their partners can be perpetuated onto you. Think about each of their partners and how your choice in this situation will affect them.

    You shouldn’t be the person to come between someone else’s relationship. Don’t assume their burdens by entangling yourself in their drama.

    It’s clear that both of these men are dealing with personal issues within their respective relationships and are acting out using someone else. People who are unhappy in their own relationships, but do little to change their circumstances, aren’t the type of people you want to spend your time with.

    The best thing to do is to remove yourself from these situations through the decisions you make. With the position you’re in, you could even contact the partners of these men to let them know what’s been happening. Sometimes involving yourself further can make things worse, so carry on with caution.

    It may seem tantalizing having two different men as potential lovers, but neither are viable options for you to pursue. While you may think they are the only men interested in you, it’s highly unlikely that is the case. The characters of these two are definitely too shady for any connection to be worth it.

    Don’t allow their behavior to influence you and any desires you may think they fulfill. Be the bigger person and end things before it’s too late to take back a possible bad choice.

    Good luck!

    Sincerely,

    Evergreen

    If you have any questions you’d like to send in, email us at contactthejack@gmail.com. We won’t publish any names and you don’t need to use one.