The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: Dobby Morse

  • 100 Days Of Pain

    The beginning of 2021 is but an extension of 2020 – a chaotic stretch of time that feels like everything and nothing is happening. Joe Biden is not only the successor of the only US president to be impeached twice, but he is also the president that will have to enforce a nationwide mask mandate, make a futile effort to reopen schools, and direct the rollout of over 100 million vaccines.

    That’s just the stuff that Biden said he would prioritize in his first 100 days speech. He failed to include other urgent issues such as demilitarizing/restructuring the police, cancelling student debt, restoring the endangered species act, eating/taxing the rich, and housing the homeless.

    Part of Biden’s 100 day plan includes raising the federal minimum wage to $15 an hour. This is not enough for some cities such as Oakland, LA and San Francisco where rents average from $1,900 to $3,500 per month. The Fight For 15 began in 2012. Adjusted for inflation, the minimum wage should be at least $17.00 per hour, and that does not factor in the rise of cost of living.

    The corona crisis has brought structural issues to the nation’s attention while simultaneously preventing us from making progress. Disadvantaged students are failing due to no or poor internet access at home. We will soon see vaccines funded by the government when medical care costs are at an all-time high.

    The pandemic showed us that we can make a drastic shift in a short period of time. If we can get most people to wear masks and stop physical contact, we can convert our transportation systems to green energy. We can establish a universal basic income for those in poverty. And we can staff police stations with mental health professionals and de-escalation teams.

    Joe Biden cannot just return things to a pre-Trump era. Even if Hillary Clinton had won back in 2016, the US would still have been built on a foundation of capitalism and white supremacy. We need to move towards a society that puts people and the planet first, not money. We need to get ready for a cultural revolution.

  • Dobby’s proposition opinions

    Haven’t voted yet? Well, you’re running out of time. Here’s a quick rundown of California’s propositions on the ballot this year

    Prop 14

    Proposition 14 would allow the state to sell bonds to fund stem cell research. Stem cells are cells that have not yet chosen an organ to major in. They can be injected into a liver, heart or other organ of your choice. They are regeneration cells, and have the potential to treat diseases including Alzheimer’s, HIV/AIDS, diabetes and cancer. Stem cells are most effective when harvested from fertilized human eggs that are four to five days old, causing some controversy in people who care about that sort of thing. Vote yes to authorize the state to sell bonds to raise money for this research, or no to not fund the research.

    Prop 15

    This is a tax bill that will increase taxes for corporations, cut taxes for home-based business and raise money for schools. Vote yes.

    Prop 16

    Affirmative action is legal in 42 states, but was voted out of California in the 90s. Enrollment of minorities at competitive universities dropped as a result. The recent murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Atatiana Jefferson and many lost Black lives have brought racial inequalities into a starker light, making affirmative action more appealing. Opponents say California is already doing enough and that it would be “reverse racism,” which is not a thing. Vote yes to approve affirmative action.

    Prop 17

    Restores voting rights for people on parole. Currently, a person who is in jail or has completed their sentence and related parole can vote. Felons in state prison or on parole cannot. People on parole have committed serious crimes, such as murder, rape, robbery, arson, or kidnapping. After their prison term, they are assigned a parole officer and must follow strict rules. This bill will also allow parolees to run for office if they haven’t been convicted of perjury or bribery. Vote yes to restore voting rights or no to keep restrictions.

    Prop 18

    Vote yes to grant 17-year-olds the right to vote in primary elections if they turn 18 in the next general election. This does not mean that a 17-year-old will be able to vote in the general election, but if they turn 18 on or before election day, they can vote in the primary before the general election.

    Prop 19

    A property tax that increases the tax rate on inherited properties if the person inheriting it does not live there. It would also expand moving for seniors by allowing them to transfer the lower tax rate of their old homes into a new place up to three times throughout the state. Currently, they can only move once within the same county to keep the tax rate of the first property when they bought it. It would generate a few million dollars per year, 75 percent of which would go to fund fire protection. Vote yes to increase taxes on wealthy families.

    Prop 20

    This would revive tough-on-crime by reclassifying property crimes as ‘wobblers’ that are either misdemeanors or felonies. It would boost penalties for parole violations, and require DNA samples for misdemeanor property crimes. It would also create a new list of offenses that deny eligibility for early parole, including domestic violence, which isn’t currently classified as a violent crime. That is a problem. I don’t blame you if you skip this one, but vote no to not be tough-on-crime, or yes to be tough-on-crime.

    Prop 21

    This would repeal parts of the Costa-Hawkins Act, which limited local rent control laws across California. A yes vote would allow cities to enact stronger rent control laws on most properties older than 15 years, and cap rent increases for new tenants at 15 percent with no increase for three years. A no vote would maintain current rent control laws.

    Prop 22

    VOTE NO. Proposition 22 would classify app-based drivers as independent contractors, who are only paid while driving, but not while waiting. They do not have full health insurance. Uber, Lyft, DoorDash and Instacart have spent $170 million to back this because they profit from not classifying their employees as such. A no vote would force the state to classify drivers as a special category, neither independent contractors nor regular employees.

    Prop 23

    Would add more requirements for dialysis clinics, including having at least one physician on-site, report infection data, have state approval before closing and prohibit insurance discrimination. Vote yes for more requirements or no to not add requirements.

    Prop 24

    Amends data protection laws and establishes a new state agency to enforce them. Critics say this would keep the current system, where a consumer has to opt out to protect their data. An alternative would be setting ‘don’t sell my data’ as the default, and companies would have to ask them to opt-in. Vote yes to amend the current data protection laws, or no to keep the current data protection system.

    Prop 25

    Vote yes to replace cash bail with risk assessment based on public safety and flight risk. Defendants who can’t pay bail are nine times more likely to plead guilty despite innocence. Opponents say that the risk assessment tool can be overridden by a judge, who may be in favor of locking more people up, especially if they are Black. The Public Policy Institute Of California predicts that 142,000 people per year would spend less time in jail under Prop 25.

    Measure F

    Vote yes to raise fire protection funds. The funds would pay to unfreeze eight firefighting positions and reopen a third fire station. It would address aging equipment as needed. Paid for by renewing the three percent Utility Users Tax.

  • Dobby’s dissection of Donald Trump

    Columnist Dobby Morse shares their take on the presidential candidates

    I tried. I tried to watch it, but like everything else Trump is involved in, it was a farce.

    Within the first 15 minutes, Trump dodged the question as to when the new justice should be nominated by talking about Amy Barrett’s qualifications. He lied about his very public taxes, called the Coronavirus the “China plague,” implied that Biden was stupid for forgetting the name of a place and bragged about football, of all things.

    I am by no means, a fan of Biden. He is a creepy old white guy that has been accused of inappropriately touching several women. Trump has done much worse. Biden has a plan for the Coronavirus, including free testing, Personal Protective Equipment and a nationwide mask mandate.

    He has a plan for the climate crisis that includes the Green New Deal, rejoining the Paris climate accord and an end to fossil fuel subsidies. Trump, as Biden said repeatedly, does not have a plan.

    Trump’s biggest problem is the inability to self-reflect. The media has been largely negative towards him. He is a pathological liar and it is the media’s job to expose lies. He has shown no ability to listen to experts or politicians who do not undeservedly love him.

    Rather than take a minute of his 74 years of life to reflect on why people don’t respect him, he goes on defense.

    Biden, despite Trump’s opinion, is smart. He brings up his experience as a senator and vice president to show he knows how to do the job. He talked about the Coronavirus deaths as people, rather than statistics. He talked about Trump’s history of lies and lack of a plan to showcase his opponent’s incompetence.

    A horrific outcome of the debate is an increase in recruitment for the White supremacist group, Proud Boys. When asked to condemn them, Trump replied, “Proud Boys, stand back and stand by.”

    The hate group has since adopted this quote as a slogan and an endorsement by Trump.

    We live in a world where incredibly dangerous people are world leaders. We live in a world where fundamental and private rights are in danger. We live in a world where a few people can decide the course of history.

    So vote. Check your registration status, and if you aren’t already getting election mail, find out why. History has its eyes on you.

    Dobby Morse is a columnist for The Lumberjack and is an HSU student.

  • Obituary Of A Snake

    Obituary Of A Snake

    Goodbye, Cruel World

    I found you dead this morning. You had a tragic and undignified death. I only hope you were dead, or at least unconscious before being caught in a tire wheel and thrown back onto the road.

    I do not know if you had a name, or even if snakes understand the concept of names. I hope it’s alright if I call you Billy.

    From what the internet tells me, you were either a Northwestern garter snake or a red-sided garter snake. You had bold yellow stripes running down your tail/body/spine, and big, dead eyes that were empty of the spark of life that was so cruelly taken from you. You were a bit over 6 inches, not a big snake but you were not tiny.

    What were your accomplishments? We may never know. Did you eat a lot of slugs, or did you have a preference for amphibians? What was your favorite food, Billy? Did you prefer to coil and strike in defense, or slip into the creek?

    As I was staring into the eye sockets of my skeleton bobblehead, I was reminded that death can be a beautiful thing. Death is a transition into a new life. Mourning is a time to remember who you were, and who you can be in your next life.

    You lived and died in a college, arguably a modern-day Acropolis, much like your ancestor, the sacred snake of Athens. The sacred snake stood guard in Athena’s temple, receiving gifts of honey cakes until they sensed the Persians coming and fled as a warning.

    Are you warning us of something, Billy? That cars will be the death of us all, most certainly by climate change, but also by the crushing wheel of modern society?

    I resolve to make you mean something. Your life was meaningful, perhaps not by human standards. But as a snake, it was your job to consume plant-eating creatures, thus protecting the small plants that make Humboldt beautiful.

    The humans will laugh at my grief. You were a snake, and a large percentage of them feared you without cause. Though your bite was inconvenient at best, you were small, so small that I doubt you were fully grown. I grieve not only for the death of a wild animal but a newly-hatched one.

    You were not a bird, a rabbit, or a deer. You were not what is commonly considered “cute.” Yet, a live snake is exciting. How fast you used to move, how slick you must have felt! That power is gone now.

    Seeing you struck me with the irrelevance of human society. Why do humans drive cars, except for human reasons? Birds fly, rabbits hop, and snakes slither. That’s all the transport you need. Humans can’t make enough money unless they move beyond the capacity of legs. Money doesn’t make sense to anyone who isn’t human!

    Billy, I hope you find peace. But I know you most likely won’t. Cars may become completely electric, but the system that makes driving a daily occurrence continues.

  • How Not To Be Bitten By A Kitten

    How Not To Be Bitten By A Kitten

    Please prepare to be prey

    Congratulations, a baby feline has recently come into your life. If they’re anywhere from 2-18 months, they bite. They see you as prey. Because you are prey. You always have been. You always will be. Yet, you are also their servant and being bitten can interfere with your duties. After a lifetime of servitude, I have learnt to minimize these attacks and I am willing to divulge my secrets to you.

    Squeak: I have no idea how to do this, but according to the internet, it works.Tell them that you are hurt by their actions. Cry loudly in a high-pitched voice. Leave them in your room while you go over to your neighbors’ yard and let their cat rub your legs. Go back home and shower in shame.

    Diversions: If you have an old scarf, tie or ribbon lying around, wave it to your kitty. Move in a jerky pattern but stay in the same spot. This will attract their attention and give them a location to pounce. You can also get toys on a string attached to a stick, but they’re easily chewed through. The ferrets are nice and sturdy, but might not always appeal to your kitty aesthetically. Ask your overlord what their favorite color is. Cats can see shades of blue, grey and green, and perceive some other colors as purple.

    Wear armor: Thick socks, hoodies and blankets will soften the blows, especially when warm from the dryer. When armored, wiggle your toes until they pounce. Now you are free to perform your duties with your supreme royal attached to your feet.

    Play dead: Do not try this on a dog, but it seems to work well with cats. Let your limbs go limp and hide under the covers. Ensure that there are no gaps their majesty can squeeze into and wait until they settle on top of you and fall asleep. If for some tragic reason you are not in bed, hide your arms behind your back. Depending on their mood, this comes with the risk of getting your face pounced on. If you sense this is about to happen, make a sudden, full body move. This will startle them long enough for you to grab the nearest toy and throw it far away.

    When all else fails, resign yourself to a life of being the cat’s quarry. You are a chew toy and you will get chewed on. You chose this, because you know that life without an apex predator in it is not a life worth living.