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Oh man, there must have been something in the air the week before Spring Break. Someone turned himself in for an outstanding warrant, there were multiple fights on campus and on the bus, slit car tires, drunk people on campus and finally, multiple skateboard violations. Oh yeah, and some folks got their pieces seized, bummer! But don’t worry, the week of Spring Break had its own eccentricities.

The Rolling Count:

· Possession charges = 5

· Contraband/paraphernalia seizures = 6

Holler hootie hoo!

Monday March 18

· RAAAGEEEE FACE!!— “A vehicle owner who was irate with Parking staff regarding a parking citation was warned and advised of proper complaint procedure.” I get it, tickets suck. However, the parking staff are just doing their jobs, don’t scream at them.

· The circus is in town— “A male who was balancing on a large red ball while juggling bowling pins in the parking lot was asked to move to a safer location.” I don’t know what a “safer location” would entail, but the dude is literally standing on a ball while juggling. I think he has it under control. But maybe not, ya’ never know.

Tuesday March 19

· This isn’t your room, it’s down the hall—So someone in Fern Residence Hall was “staying in a different room than the room which was rented to him.” Dude, just go home. If it smells, tell your roomies to clean the eff up.

Wednesday March 20

· Someone stole a scooter and that is about it for Wednesday.

Thursday March 21

· Open window policy?—Someone was spotted climbing through a window at the Fern Residence Hall. UPD was unable to find the person but concluded, “it was a resident who possibly lost his key.”

Friday March 22

· Take it outside—Someone was warned for skating inside of the Science D building.

Saturday March 23

· Stop it kid!—Literal children called UPD from one of those blue light emergency post things. UPD heard the “voices of children” in the background. Don’t worry, “the parents will admonish their children.”

Sunday March 24

· GHOSTS!!—I freakin’ knew it!! One of the librarians called UPD because she believed “there may be someone on the second or third floor.” UPD showed up… and found someone on the third floor. Dang it, I was psyched for some paranormal activity. One of these days, we will find some legit ghost activity.

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