by Jasmin Shirazian

Jasmin,

I read your last article about situationships…

The fact is. I’m in one, but I’m the other person. Not the person feeling sorry in the relationship. Not that I’m taking advantage of her, but she doesn’t want to fucking leave me. Even though she knows it’ll be the right thing for both of us. I feel bad for being on the other side though. 

I’m kinda stuck too. My housing relies on her, so I haven’t ended things. 

Oh, dear. Looks like someone accidentally pooped where they eat. 

I’ve been where you are; literally, relying on housing from a bad relationship. I wasn’t in a place where I could just up-and-move either. 

Realistically, you don’t have a lot of options here. You can either move or make up. The way I got out was by going to college and moving in the dorms, which seriously saved me. My life wasn’t in physical danger, thankfully, but I had definitely lost my sense of self. Moving made me regrasp control of my life. 

It sounds like kissing and making up are out of the question in this situation. She’s not over you, but you’re clearly over her. The best thing you can do for the both of you is leave, though that’s easier said than done. 

I know rent is crazy expensive around here – and hell, you might be stuck in a lease – but if you have any friends whose place you can crash at, do so immediately. Paying for a storage unit, or pitching in for a friend’s rent, will help you save money in the long run. You can start saving for a therapy fund. 

You’ll never truly be ready for anything in life, whether it’s a relationship, moving or anything in between. You have to put yourself in a position where change can find you – ready or not. 

xoxo,

Jasmin