Natalie Goldberg and her girlfriend face grief and illness

By Alexandra Berrocal

Ever since her Zen teacher Katagiri Roshi died, Natalie Goldberg has been slightly more sickly than other people. Colds that would leave most people fine after a few days took weeks for Goldberg to recover from. Despite this, Goldberg never started to ask serious questions about her health until she absolutely had to. 

After going to the doctor for a routine check-up, she discovered that she had a rare form of blood cancer, with a high mortality rate. Later in the story, Yu-kwan, her beloved girlfriend of 4 years, is diagnosed with breast cancer. Let The Whole Thundering World Come Home explores what it is like to have cancer when your partner has cancer at the same time, which has to be an unusual situation.

Although Goldberg is a prolific writer who has written extensively on many other topics, this is her only memoir on what it is like to have cancer. At the beginning of Thundering World, she encourages us to read The Great Spring, another book of hers. She says that The Great Spring is really a long, extended afterward to this story. 

She also says that she wasn’t initially sure if she wanted to write about cancer. Part of her wanted to leave the past in the past, which I must confess is an unusual stance to take for someone who wrote Old Friend From Far Away, a book that encourages us to explore the past as a means of self discovery and self understanding. Cancer must be terrifying if a talented memoirist like Goldberg is afraid to look at it.

This isn’t a story about how the cancer twins — as Goldberg called herself and Yu-kwan — supported each other through cancer. Throughout this book, there is an odd separation between the two. Sharing silence initially brings the pair together, but as the story goes on, it starts to tear them apart. This resolves at the end of the story, but both women struggle for a while as they go through their own journeys with cancer and are both too sick for one to act as a caregiver to the other. 

Goldberg definitely admires Yu-kwan, and not just for her great physical beauty. She admires Yu-kwan for all she has accomplished in her life and all she has overcome. This prevents the descriptions of Yu-kwan from feeling like sexual objectification. For one thing, Goldberg’s admiration of Yu-kwan doesn’t feel terribly sexual. This is refreshing in a world where relationships between queer women are sexualized. Goldberg’s love for Yu-kwan definitely has a sexual element, but it’s not the entire reason why she loves and admires her partner. 

Goldberg wrote this book having already written many books. Also, she didn’t write this story while she was actually experiencing cancer. She didn’t even write it right after she went into remission. She waited a while and then wrote her story. I think she wanted to put her past behind her.

If anything, this is a story of reconciliation. Cancer drives Yu-kwan and Goldberg apart as each deals with their illness in their own way. However, after Goldberg makes a delicious roast chicken for both of them in the end, the two start to reconcile. The story ends on a hopeful note for both of them. I, too, love a good roast chicken.

Alexandra Berrocal is a self-published author who has written fifteen books. She likes to crochet and draw, as well as read and write. She is from Orange County. They like dogs, and they sing alto in a choir. If you have an idea for a book she could review, email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com.