By Savana Robinson

I’m getting older, I think I’m aging well / I wish someone had told me I’d be doing this by myself 

Life can get in the way of the grind. Working with minimal days off is unsustainable and, eventually, something happens to throw everything off balance. Doctors appointments, endless laundry, and dealing with the fleas on my cat while going to school and work — plus trying to remember to take care of basic human needs is overwhelming. 

Getting Older by Billie Eilish is close to my heart. I also wish I had been informed that, eventually, I’d be on my own. Sometimes, it can feel like something greater is conspiring against me and I’m drowning in a never-ending fever dream of instant noodles and knots in my neck, and it sucks. It makes me not even want to try some days.

Things I once enjoyed / Just keep me employed now

I grew up making videos of my adventures with friends. Now, I work in TV as a multimedia journalist while finishing my degree. I’m in an awesome spot right now, and I have everything I wanted growing up; the boyfriend, the motorcycle, and the job… so why am I so stressed out? Does the exhaustion of the long hours and nagging deadlines outweigh the satisfaction of doing what I love? It doesn’t. I’m doing everything all at once, trying to get to a point where I can say I made it, that I fulfilled my dreams. But I forgot who was underneath it all — a little girl filming fairy rings in a field with an iPod touch.

I’m getting older, I’ve got more on my shoulders / But I’m getting better at admitting when I’m wrong

I try to remind myself that things will only get better from here. I’ve made my share of mistakes, but it’s all part of the learning experience, and hands-on is the best approach in my opinion. I thoroughly enjoy what I do, and I’m getting great experience reporting and producing at work while also working on this paper. It’s a lot, but it feels worth it. I have faith that time and opportunity will align to push me forward on my path. I need to trust myself and remember why I’m taking on so much responsibility — for that kid who wanted to explore, film videos, and share stories.

Savana Robinson is a senior journalism major and film minor at Cal Poly Humboldt. She is the managing editor for The Lumberjack and a multimedia journalist at Redwood News. She enjoys riding her Harley-Davidson and playing video games, and her favorite color is pink.