The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: Rolling count

  • Blotter bytes

    Blotter bytes

    The Rolling Count:

    Alright, alright, this week had some activity! No one was charged—which is dope. However, some folks got in trouble…metaphorically speaking. Or maybe not; the report is ambiguous. Hemlock, Alder, Tan Oak and even the parking lot at Forbes Gym all saw some action.

    Possession charges = 4

    Contraband/paraphernalia seizures = 2

    Monday Feb. 11

    · Mental health awareness—The past week had a number of welfare checks, which are enacted if someone is concerned about another’s wellbeing. With that said, if you are experiencing a tough time and need someone to talk to, you can access counseling and other mental health services at the Student Health Center. Check out their website.

    · Good guy alert—Someone got an escort to their vehicle late at night from UPD. Give a cop a high-five next time you see one!

    · Three Butt dials!—UPD was called three times with no one answering from the other end. Guys, airplane mode is a thing. So is not calling 911 on accident. Come on, you’re better than that.

    · A problem worth addressing—Someone was warned for camping on HSU property near the Kinesiology and Athletics buildings. Those in power need to help our more vulnerable counterparts…not everyone has the luxury of a home.

    Tuesday Feb. 12

    · Art Heist—It looks like we have an art burglar in the Pepperwood Residence Hall. Stealing art in the movies looks cool, but in real life it’s not. So, don’t do it. M’kay?

    · Petty Theft x2—A backpack and other items were stolen from the Kinesiology building. Please don’t steal.

    · Smokin’ in the boys’ room—Drug activity at Hemlock Residence Hall! Two people were caught with marijuana. They only received an “incident memo,” so that’s cool.

    Wednesday Feb. 13

    · Buzzkill—“A campus parking officer found three rolled marijuana joints on the ground and turned them in for destruction.” Destruction? I bet the guy in the evidence room smoked them.

    · Good guy alert—UPD helped someone get into a locked car. Now, that’s pretty cool.

    · Let’s Mötley Crüe this place—Someone punched a whole bunch of holes in their walls in Laurel Residence Hall. Don’t worry though, “he is code four, negative crime.” Whatever that means.

    · Buzzkill part deux—“Housing out with a resident in the kitchen in possession of marijuana.” The wording of that sentence sounds like a bad Bob Dylan song.

    · Stop! (in the name of love) x4—The cops were on a mission this day. Four people were stopped for blowing through stop signs on a bike. Bikers, ya gotta stop. Sometimes it’s in the name of love. Other times it’s in the name of the law.

    Thursday Feb. 14

    · Good guy alert x3—UPD helped with a jumpstart, locked car doors and a late-night escort…on valentine’s day. Aren’t they sweethearts?

    · Trespass—A “transient female has been in the restroom for at least 30 minutes.” It breaks my heart that our homeless counterparts routinely have the police called on them for pejorative actions. The woman was warned about her “recent trespass.” On public property…

    · Smokin’ ciggies—“Several subjects [were] smoking in the stairwell area” at the Hagopian House. Although UPD didn’t see them smoking, they admitted to it…amateurs.

    Friday Feb. 15

    · “Making a scene”—Someone refused to take their backpack off when entering the College Creek Marketplace and threw a fit. Not gonna lie, this backpack policy is the stupidest effing policy on campus. Those who enacted it assume that students are thieves. A former LJ editorial team wrote a piece about this and the ridiculous prices.

    Saturday Feb. 16

    · Momma’s boy—A Lyft driver called someone’s mom after he left his cell phone in the car. Like a good mother, she called the police to check in on the situation. The phone was returned and the owner was “advised to contact his mother.” Aww, that’s sweet.

    · Fallen soldier—An RA in the Alder Residence Hall seized someone’s pipe and turned it into UPD. Now I’m not one to glorify military stuff, but let’s salute this fallen soldier. Cue “Taps.”

    Sunday Feb. 17

    · Someone barfed—“Someone vomited in the Fieldhouse and the game is unable to resume until it is cleaned up…” Oh man, that is something there, imagine the smell. Seriously think about…taste it… smell it….Okay see ya next week!

  • Blotter bytes

    Blotter bytes

    The Rolling Count:

    This week in drug-related activity was pretty chill. Nobody was charged with possession and nobody was caught in the act of smoking weed. However, we do have to salute a fallen soldier. On Wednesday Feb. 6 in the Alder residence hall, “marijuana related contraband located during a fire drill was seized for destruction,” according to a police report. It is unfortunate that the individual lost their bong, bowl, pipe, vape or whatever; but let’s look on the brightside—nobody caught a charge! And that my friend is dope a.f.

    Possession charges = 4

    Contraband/Paraphernalia= 1 (no one was charged but someone did lose a piece, so I’m counting it)

    Hootie Hoo!—what the cops are up to:

    Monday Feb. 4

    • STOP! (in the name of love)—A cyclist ran a stop sign at 17th and Wildlife Lane. They were just warned, but everyone should know that bikes must obey the same traffic laws as vehicles.
    • Petty Theft—Someone stole a purse from the Student Health Center and that is lameeeee.

    Tuesday Feb. 5

    • LOUD NOISES! —Multiple burglary alarms went off on Tuesday. One of them was due to a broken window at Room 142 of the Wildlife building.
    • I swear this isn’t cocaine—Someone spilled a whole bunch of flour near the Pedestrian Underpass near LK Wood Blvd. The subject helped clean up the white powder and then went along with his day.
    • Serving the community—UPD helped with a flat tire, a locked car door and two dead batteries, all in one day. If the cops help you, make sure to give them a hug, handshake, or a “thank you.”
    • Vandalism—Someone drew something on something somewhere (Gist Hall). Freakin’ yawnnn. Who cares about vandalism anymore, I got student loan debt to worry about.
    • An issue worth addressing—A “male non-student was warned for…camping/sleeping on campus property…” Arcata’s new mayor Brett Watson said he wants to focus on helping our fellow citizens-in-need during his first term as mayor. Let’s hope he can succeed in helping those who call our streets home.
    • Whoa bro!—Somebody got warned for skateboarding on campus where they shouldn’t be. Next!
    • Help I’m stuck!—Around 1 p.m. someone got stuck in the elevator in Founder’s Hall. Talk about a nightmare.

    Wednesday Feb. 6

    • Someone literally lost their car—Someone thought they parked their car at the Children’s Center when they actually parked it in the Jolly Giant lot. That is literally on the other side of campus ya silly goose!
    • Annoying neighbor—Someone called the cops because a car was parked on B Street “for the last two days and has not moved.” Come on! You live in a college town. This person probably opposes new housing projects too. Lame!
    • Good Guys—The cops jumpstarted someone’s car. That’s pretty cool, right?
    • Drug Activity! (it’s weed again)—It’s the same thing I told you about in the Rolling Count. Next!
    • Those dang skateboarders are at it again—Skateboarding is not a crime, until they cite you for doing it on campus. This person was skating near B Street in someplace they shouldn’t be. I once heard that heaven is a halfpipe, so you got that to look forward to.
    • Grand Theft Laptop—Someone stole a laptop, which can be devastating. I mean if someone stole mine, I would probably cry and freak out and have a panic attack, because all of my school work is on here. Don’t steal laptops, or in general. Stealing’s bad, mkay?

    Thursday Feb. 7

    • Burglary—The Pacific Southwest Research Lab on Bayview Street was broken into around 11 p.m. A 37-year-old man was arrested. No details were listed about what he tried to take.
    • Smokin’ ciggies—An “anonymous crime tip email of two females smoking cigarettes” near the Student Health Center was reported around 2:30 p.m.
    • Paranormal activity—There were five calls to UPD from the Library elevator. The report says it was due to an “equipment malfunction,” but I think it is ghosts so that’s what’s going into the public record.
    • Good guy alert—Someone got an escort to their car from UPD at 1:39 a.m.

    Friday Feb. 8

    • Petty Theft—Someone stole a bike chain… but not the bike… hmm
    • 9:08 a.m.—“Officer contacted a subject who appeared to have a bulge in their waistband under a coat. It was not a weapon.” This occurred at the intersection of Union and 10th.

    Saturday Feb. 9

    • IT SNOWED!!!!
    • Paranormal activity 2 (ghosts are real)—There was a report of a tarp and other items left in front of the Natural History Museum on G Street. But when the cops showed up…it was gone! Ghosts came and cleaned up the mess, definitely not a person, but ghosts.

    Sunday Feb. 10

    • Paranormal activity 3—Four times throughout the day 911 was dialed and “voices were heard.” Ghosts, guys, freakin’ ghosts.
    • Heroes!—A “male non-student was transport to Mad River Community Hospital due to possible hypothermia.” Our counterparts that call our streets and wooded areas home are always in need of warm clothes and food donations. Donations can be dropped off at the Arcata House at 501 9th Street. Bedding, socks and raincoats are always in need.
    • There is stuff everywhere—Downed tree limbs, power lines and other stuff in the street were reported on Sunday. Probs due to that dang snow! Send me to L.A. I’m over this rain/snow stuff! (JK there’s too many people there).
    • HELP WE’RE STUCK!—Eight people were stuck in elevators on Sunday due to power outages (or ghosts). Eight! I’m taking the stairs from now on.