In my eyes the world is yellow and full of slime, but guess what? I love it! Welcome to the official fangirl column for banana slugs. Who knew this even existed?
Here’s the hottest gossip of the slug world. Prepare yourself for some hot hot tea.
The Slug Queen Deidre has been accused of interacting with a snake, having a near death experience but survived. She was awarded a badge of survival. Congratulations. Bow down to the slug queen!
Jen and Thomas Slugs were found eating blackberries after curfew! Scandalous! Luckily they were not seen by predators and only by the slug guards.
Gabe and Anthony Slugs were found to have helped write an article in the Lumberjack Newspaper with humans! Dun dun duhhhhhh!
Skylar and Justin Slugs just announced their discovery of a new food: it’s called a banana peel and they were scared of it at first when a human dropped it, but eventually tasted it. These chefs are now introducing the recipes to restaurants around Northern California! Bon Appetit!
Dakota, Elliott, and Sophia slugs were caught skydiving off a redwood with leaves as parachutes. The slugs below watched as these adventurers made history.
Dobby and Becca Slugs discovered a human who liked to say hello and moved them out of the way of walking humans. Oh wait! I am that human.
Poppy, Gabrielle, Whitney, Matt, Elizabeth and Kiera Slugs were all found on the same log having a photoshoot. They are on the cover of Slug Weekly.
Brianne, Sam, Joseph and Ian Slugs were seen out at the beach enjoying the sun but didn’t go to the salt water. What a fun day!
That’s it folks, the hottest slug gossip for the week. Tune in next week for more banana slug tea! But not actual tea because that’s disgusting and cruel and well, very slimy.