The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Category: Opinion

  • Jasmin’s Corner; body dysmorphia

    Jasmin’s Corner; body dysmorphia

    Jasmin,

    My roommate and all my friends are super skinny. Any advice on how to feel confident when I see no representation for my body type?

    These days, no matter how hard you try, it’s hard to not be bombarded by images and media that’ll make you compare yourself to what you’re seeing. When you’re constantly fed an image of what you’re supposed to look like, how you’re supposed to dress, what you’re supposed to eat, how is a person supposed to avoid feeling a certain type of way about themself? If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone. A lot of people I know, including myself, struggle with their body image.  

    I’ve always struggled with body dysmorphia. When I was in high school, I was intentionally underweight. I wasn’t diagnosed with anything, but in hindsight, I very clearly had an eating disorder. Even at my thinnest, I wanted to be thinner. Now, I look back and I wonder what the fuck I was talking about.

    Coming to Humboldt, I got older, started to find myself and ultimately, as I was growing, my body was growing too. It’s something I wasn’t used to, and honestly, still struggle with. Having to swap out your favorite jeans for new ones isn’t something they really prepare you for, besides the societal fat-shame known as the freshman 15. Even that, however, is said as a word of warning, as if it’s something you can avoid without becoming overly conscious about your body and eating habits. 

    The only way to be confident in your current body is to accept it and learn to love it. Our bodies are never going to look perfect to us when we’re in the moment. I’ve really had to teach myself to practice not comparing myself to my friends, who often fit the clothes I can’t even squeeze into anymore. I also have to avoid comparing my adult self to my teenage self. I’m turning 22 this year, and I don’t look 16 anymore. That’s okay. 

    You get older, your jeans fit a little tighter and the world keeps turning. 

    xoxo,

    Jasmin

  • Proposition 1 – will it hurt or help California?

    By Alexandra Berrocal

    I am a person with mental illness. I have bipolar disorder and take my five medications every night. As a person with mental illness, I have mixed feelings about Prop. 1. I think it’s great that our state is finally doing something about homelessness. According to research done by UC San Francisco, over eight in ten homeless people in California struggle with serious mental illness and nearly two-thirds struggle with addiction. This proposition would increase treatment beds and increase care for people with addictions. I am unhappy that they are expanding involuntary treatment. Involuntary treatment is necessary under certain circumstances. I have been so delusional that I thought I was the Messiah, despite taking my medication. I didn’t think I needed as much care as I ended up getting. I credit involuntary treatment with saving me in certain situations. However, I am concerned that involuntary treatment will be overused.  

    It comes down to a very tricky dilemma. To what degree can a person, whose mind is impaired, make good choices for themselves? It’s a tricky line to walk. Often, we can’t make good choices for ourselves if we are severely ill, so we need to rely on others to do what is best for us. However, this inherently violates the rights of the mentally ill to a degree. Sometimes the current laws assume we can make choices for ourselves when the part of us that makes choices is impaired. Our current system doesn’t really know how to deal with this. Either they give us the freedom to make bad choices, or we have no choices at all.

    It could be argued, though, that the situation really has become dire. I actually walked through Skid Row once, with company, and was shocked by the poverty. This makes me consider that maybe the situation with mental health has become so dire in our state that involuntary measures have become necessary.

  • Stop skipping class and skip to class

    Stop skipping class and skip to class

    By Noah Pond

    When was the last time you skipped somewhere?

    Shit’s mad fun – really gets you filled with those OG childhood emotions. Skipping makes you feel like you’re on your way to recess in third grade, about to go undefeated in four-square or tear up the monkey bars. 

    I know that you’re in college, you’re an adult, and if we were all skipping around campus, it would look ridiculous.

    You see, when we grew up, we gave up the playful activity of skipping for a more serious exercise: running. The thing about running is the impact. It’s impossible to avoid because the knee acts as a hinge for the leg, creating a negative impact on the knee and patella. The impact is part of the reason a lot of the running shoes we see coming out these days have insanely thick outsoles and almost look like Balenciagas. What if I told you skipping is better than running?

    Researchers at two universities in North Carolina conducted an experiment and found that the peak force of impact is 30% greater in those who run compared to those who skip. Additionally, up to 79% of runners reported that they suffer some kind of injury every year. 

    I’m someone who has dislocated my knee on multiple occasions, but skipping takes an immense amount of stress off of your knees. If you have knee problems, skipping is the way to go. However, if you have any issues going on with your calves or ankles, you may find some pressure in those areas while skipping. 

    I just can’t wait until it starts to warm up again, I’ll be skipping everywhere. Just imagine – the warm sun gently toasting your skin while you and your pals skip cheerfully across the beach, skip to the river to skip rocks, or maybe even skip to the lou… skipping could be the move. Not to mention, it is not much harder to skip than walk, yet you get to travel at close to running speeds.  

    I’m not saying that you should skip to class with your backpack on like a grade schooler, although that would be a riot. I’m saying skip around once in a while. Have some fun with your friends, take some airy leaps and bounds on your way to the farmers market or on your little hikes in the forest. You will thank me and come skipping back, because skipping is just so much fun. 

  • Jasmins Corner; miscommunication

    Jasmins Corner; miscommunication

    By Jasmin Shirazian

    Dear Jasmin, 

    I have a girl I really like and might’ve asked to hangout in a strange manner, and it came off a little weird. She didn’t reject me, she said something about being busy, but it seemed genuine. I’m in the midst of contemplating whether I shoot my shot, ask to hang, or what to do from here. My morals keep getting in the way of things and am trying to make a so-called comeback from here. What should I do?

    Everyone gets nervous talking to their crush – especially if they’re trying to ask them out. So what, you acted like a little freak? Happens to the best of us. 

    What to do from here can be tricky territory. You don’t want to be pushy, but you also deserve clarity on the situation. If you genuinely think she was being serious about being busy, try and reschedule. If you guys have history, and she knows you like her, I don’t see why she would agree if she wasn’t somewhat interested. That is, unless you backed her into a corner, either physically or metaphorically. 

    When you say your morals are getting in the way of things, what do you mean in terms of morals? Are you sure it’s your moral compass and not your ego and pride? Sending a double text is scary, but in my opinion, being a victim of your pride is worse. You waste precious, unretrievable time when you let your pride get in the way of your relationships – whether it’s a double text to try and hang out, or reaching out to give an apology, our egos often interfere with solvable situations. 

    This seems like a common issue of miscommunication. If you’re not sure where her heads at, ask her. If she gives you a wishy-washy response, you have your answer. At the end of the day, you have to go back to the source. 

  • Home for the weekend: a conversation with myself

    Home for the weekend: a conversation with myself

    By Mia Costales

    The flicker of the TV from down the hall lit up my room just enough that I could still see the outline of my bookshelf in the corner. The flashes of light just barely illuminated the spines of books, dried flowers, a nesting doll my mom gifted me for a birthday so many years ago. It’s quiet, aside from the distant murmur of late night TV. Nights like these, I typically stay up pretty late. There isn’t much to do here other than hang out with my dogs or pester my mom while she’s working. And I can’t do either of those things because they’re all asleep. So instead, I conducted an interview with myself. 

    Mia: Hi, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you here.

    Mia: Yeah, I usually don’t come around here too often. It seems I only end up here in moments of crisis. 

    Mia: Do you consider this a moment of crisis? Don’t you think that’s a bit of a reach? I mean, yeah it’s been a rough couple of weeks, but you’re still doing okay. 

    Mia: I guess you’re right. It feels wrong to call this a moment of crisis. I just can’t seem to get out of my own head. That is why I’m talking to you; I’m exhausted. It’s been hard to get out of bed. I’ve been forcing myself to shower, brush my teeth, and eat. I’ve been skipping classes because I can’t leave my house, only to obsessively watch the clock in fits of guilt. I made the drive up to Mom’s in part so that I could get away from Humboldt. But I don’t know if coming up here is helping or hurting. 

    Mia: I get that. It just feels a little self-indulgent to be so complicit in your pain. I know you are in pain, but lingering on it is only going to make it worse.

    Mia: I don’t want to say that I’m complicit in my own pain or sadness, but I think a part of me is. This reminds me of when I first went on antidepressants. I didn’t necessarily feel sad or depressed or suicidal anymore; I didn’t really feel anything. The numbness was a completely new feeling and I wasn’t used to it. I was so used to being in pain that I almost kind of missed it; like, I had felt this for so long that it was a part of me, and without it I wasn’t the same. I hate when people say that their mental illness is what gives them their “sparkle.” I think that it can be really invalidating. There is nothing glamorous about not being able to get out of bed in the morning. When I’ve been wearing the same pajamas going on day six and I haven’t brushed my teeth, washed my hair or eaten a proper meal in days, I am the furthest thing from glamorous. 

    Mia: What will happen when you’re no longer in pain?

    Mia: I’m not really sure. What will happen if the pain never goes away?

    Mia: You’ll continue living. Just as you are doing now. I know it’s not always easy to do that and I don’t know if it’ll ever get easier. But regardless of ease, you’ll go on. It might seem impossible to go on at one point or another, but then you’ll hang out with your friends, or call your mom, or see a cute dog in a car across the street, and for a moment, the pain will subside. 

    Mia: Thanks for that. Same time tomorrow?

    Mia: Always.   

  • Long distance relationships come with an expiration date

    Long distance relationships come with an expiration date

    by Alana Hackman

    Imagine this: you’re in your dorm room getting ready for a night out with friends with the cheap vodka your one friend with a fake ID supplied, and nothing but pure 18-year-old confidence. Adrenaline is pumping as you sashay around your roommates makeup bag strewn about your shared bedroom floor, careful to avoid speaking to them as they apply their liquid eyeliner. All of a sudden, your phone that was blasting some 2014 alternative indie throwback is buzzing. The music stops and everyone turns to you, wondering if your DJ rights should be revoked. You scramble to your smartphone, and as you flip it, over there lies an incoming Facetime call from your long-distance boyfriend. Pink heart emojis act as bookends to his contact name as you look at yourself on the screen and contemplate answering this call. 

    “Oh, it’s (some boring hometown man’s name),” you say to your friends.

    They know the weight that generic name holds in that dorm household. It’s 9 p.m. and they already called a cab, which should be there in about two minutes. You look at your phone as it vibrates in your hand, you look at the flock of young girls on your bed giving you the look – you know the one. The bordering Kubrick stare and eyes of disappointment, non-verbally asking, “Are you really gonna answer it right now?”  You gaze back at your phone and quickly say “I have to take this,” as you disconnect from the bluetooth speaker and rush out into the dank hallway of your shared living space, hoping to god your name isn’t part of the conversation that’s happening behind the door you just slammed. 

    I, too, was a victim of the unplanned long-distance boyfriend call. From my freshman year of college to my junior year, I was enraptured in my long-distance relationship. I wouldn’t say it was all bad but I will say it just took way too much energy in the long run. I was fresh out of highschool and still carrying the weight of my highschool boyfriend around. I spent nights having sleepovers over Facetime, or watching some movie that we had to perfectly time to sync over the phone. Long-distance relationships can truly show you love someone, but when does it reach the point of total time consumption? 

    It was fun in the beginning, when you were excited for each other and the different paths you took, but long-distance success is based on clear communication, and sometimes that isn’t even enough to hold the relationship together. When college and life in your new town away from your partner picks up, lots of factors come into play; jealousy, accessibility, and just the plain old feelings of missing each other. 

    When your time gets so constrained to the point of only being able to call your partner in your LDR (long-distance relationship) once a week, it can really throw an axe into your dynamic. Even if it’s clearly communicated and you’re transparent with your busy schedules, it can feel hard for your LDR partner to not feel neglected or forgotten about. They aren’t with you – they aren’t seeing your day to day schedule, and when you have to pencil in time to call them and try to keep their attention as you talk to them about your mind numbing statistics lecture, the spark can easily fizzle out. 

    You can try and keep it alive by doing movie nights for each other or sending care packages, but at the end of the day, it’s hard to feel truly loved and cherished when you’re six hours away from each other and not sure when you’ll see eachother again. 

    Honestly, I don’t think any 18-20-year-old has the emotional or physical capacity to do that either. These are such developmental ages, and trying to entertain an LDR partner in between it all can feel like a maze of confusion and a tow truck of effort. I’m not saying dump your LDR because it’s gonna ruin your social life. I don’t think I missed out much when I was in my LDR as a baby-faced college freshman, but I will say it caused some baggage in the long run. 

    Long-distance relationships seem to only be a blanket to hold on to the inevitable factor that you will break up; holding on to the very end until you have to throw in the towel. It usually isn’t pretty, and is the reason why most LDRs end over the phone or text with little-to-no closure at all. That’s gonna cause more pain in the end than just parting ways after highschool for the purpose of doing it for each other’s own benefit. Breakups are never easy, but it can give you a lot more peace of mind. You did it for your partner’s and your own self-preservation. 

    I can’t speak much on the mid-20s LDRs, but I’d have to say it’s the same. Open communication just isn’t possible without at least some weekly face-to-face conversations. Interaction in the digital world can feel awkward, less genuine and allows more time for feelings of neglect and loneliness to build up. Long distance has its expiration date; I can only see it as a temporary thing of a year max. Anything past that is just a waste of time. 

  • Jasmin’s Corner; you need therapy

    Jasmin’s Corner; you need therapy

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hey Jasmin, 

    I think I need therapy, but I’m afraid. I’m not the type of person who likes to share my sad feelings with anybody, so I shove them down and pretend like they aren’t there. Recently, I’ve been noticing that my sad emotions are starting to catch up to me and are taking over my thoughts. I can’t really sleep because of them and it’s making all of my days seem mushed together. So back to the therapy thing, I’m afraid to tell someone about how I feel because I don’t want to get judged. In my mind, I feel like it’s silly for someone like me to be sad because I don’t really have anything happen to me recently to have sad emotions. 

    If you think you need therapy, you need therapy. If you don’t think you need therapy, you’re wrong and you need it more than anyone else. To me, therapy is just as important as a regular doctor or dentist appointment. Your mental health is just as relevant as the physical stuff. 

    Shame, pride and embarrassment are what stop many people from seeking help, but you can’t let your fear prevent your growth. Therapists are awesome because they get paid to care, so you don’t have to feel like you’re burdening anyone in your life with your problems. Their job isn’t to judge you, but to help you, though it may take a few tries to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. Life is about trial and error. 

    Journaling your feelings throughout the day can be a good starting point in expressing your feelings. Getting them down on paper can help organize your thoughts and maybe recognize some patterns, like certain triggers. At the end of the day though, a proper diagnosis can seriously help you navigate your emotions and make sense of your brain. 

    You have to take chances and put yourself in uncomfortable positions to create change in your life. Being vulnerable is one of the strongest things you can be, which is why it can be so hard to get to a point of comfortability within it. 

    There’s no reason to feel silly for having emotions just because you’re not actively going through a tragedy or a trauma. If you can’t find the means to validate yourself, let me put it clearly: you are allowed to have feelings. More than anything, you are allowed to feel your feelings. 

    Shoving your feelings down into an endless pit will only fill it with emotional-vipers that’ll come back to bite you in the ass later in life. Make your life easier and deal with them now. 

    xoxo,

    Jasmin

  • Distance makes the heart grow fonder

    Distance makes the heart grow fonder

    by Savana Robinson

    “I love you,” I said to my boyfriend this afternoon. “I’ll see you in a month.”

    With a heavy heart, I walked away from him. Our eyes met with one last glance and we went our separate ways.

    We’ve been a long-distance couple for a year. It was hard at first because we went from working and living together to seeing each other every few weeks. This school year, we’re going longer without seeing each other. I’m working weekends and can’t come home on a whim. Also, I have a bunkmate this semester. We have to plan his visits and get a hotel when he does come. But, I’m only two and a half hours from him, so it’s not a problem for him to come up just for a night at a time.

    So, here’s my hot take: I like long distance. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and I miss him every day that I’m not with him, but I’m a very independent person. To be honest, I’m very needy when I am with him, because he does all kinds of things for me – acts of service are my love language. But because I’m an independent girly, I do okay as long as I’m staying busy.

    I think that everyone should do long distance at least once in their relationship. I think having some space from each other is healthy. You can find out who you are without them while being with them at the same time. Even if it’s a two-week family vacation without your partner or a temporary school or work relocation, it can fortify your relationship.

    The most important thing to remember when you’re in a long-distance relationship is that communication is key. In this modern age, we have technology that keeps us connected better than ever. My boyfriend and I video call each other on Snapchat at least once a day; several times if possible.

    Another thing that’s important is to remind them that you love them just as much when you’re apart as when you’re together. A great way to do that is sending letters. I know there are more efficient ways to communicate, but letters make great keepsakes that will foster fond memories you can look back on in the years to come.

    If I could choose, I’d still do long distance. Maybe not for a year – it’ll be two when I’m done with school – but at least for a few months. Because of this trial of our love, we are stronger than ever.

  • Navigating nightlife; staying safe while out

    Navigating nightlife; staying safe while out

    by Christina Mehr

    Despite the fact I had only had two drinks throughout the entire night, I very quickly felt unwell and more drunk than I have ever been in my entire life. The fact is, if you are roofied, you often have very little time between drinking and realizing that you are not well. It comes on quickly and you may find someone promising to “help you.” I realized then I had been roofied. The scariest part about that night is I don’t remember half of it. 

    What exactly is a roofie though? Roofies, or being roofied, is the slang term for the date rape drug called Rohypnol, officially known as flunitrazepam. Easily popped into and dissolved in drinks, the sedative causes memory loss, drowsiness, and sometimes even the loss of consciousness. Only one tablet can impair you for up to 8-12 hours. Combined with alcohol, it makes for an intensified effect.

    As cliche as it sounds, don’t ever leave your drink unattended. Sometimes, you need to be even more careful of those around you that are your so-called friends. It’s not that I didn’t not trust who I was with – I had my friends and dormmates with me, but we had been party hopping on Halloween night, drinking and accepting drinks from wherever they came from. Truth is, I still have no idea how I got roofied. This wasn’t a blackout just from too much alcohol, this was a new experience clearly resembling the effects of being roofied.

    Staying safe while out on the town starts with prevention. Consider bringing cup covers next time you go out partying. Cup covers prevent someone from getting the opportunity to slip pills, powders, or other substances into your drink without you knowing. I understand you may feel silly pulling out something that resembles a condom for your cup but remember, self defense begins with prevention. The Check Your Drink CYD test strips are another way to prevent being roofied. This is an easy-to-use rapid drink spiking test that detects ketamine, rohypnol, and GHB from only a few drops of your drink.

    It’s not like this experience has deterred me away from drinking or the occasional partying, especially now that the drinking I’m doing is legal. However, it has made me think to just be a little more careful and aware of my surroundings because of what can happen.

    If I can bring awareness and prevention methods to just one person, I’d be happy with that. Nobody deserves to have their drink tampered with and potentially taken advantage of. 

  • Don’t let it get boring, keep it spicy

    Don’t let it get boring, keep it spicy

    by Savana Robinson

    Having sexual relations with the same person for an extended amount of time can become monotonous, but it doesn’t have to. Here are some ways to spice up your sex life with your significant other, or if you just want to try something new with a partner. We’ll start with simpler (more vanilla) things first and work our way up to the dirtier bits. Of course, make sure you’re both into whatever you’re trying and don’t pressure or feel pressured to try anything you’re uncomfortable with.

    Nipple play

    Sucking titties. That’s it.

    Light spanking

    A little slap on the bum-bum can be fun. Next time you’re going at it doggy-style, either ask your partner for a spank, or give your partner a bit of a slap on the rear. Keep in mind that bottoms bruise easily, so try not to hurt whoever’s on the receiving end.

    Toys

    There is a toy for everyone. Whether it’s a vibrator, cock-ring or butt-plug, you can find a toy that fits your liking. Toys can be used on their own or as a supplemental piece to intercourse. Adding a toy to your bedroom happenings can make your sex more fun and more intimate.

    Location, location, location

    Having the house to yourselves can be a blessing. Put a blanket over the couch, coffee table or the kitchen floor and enjoy the freedom of making love outside the bedroom. You might be thinking, “what about the car?” Don’t get arrested for going at it in public, but if you have a garage, the car is yours to play in.

    Roleplay

    Maybe you have a work uniform you look good in. For example, you work retail, you can pretend your partner is a customer you’re going above and beyond for in customer service. However you want to play, it can be fun to spice it up by adopting a new persona or profession or make up a situation you’ve always fantasized about.

  • Don’t have sex with your pets… in the room

    Don’t have sex with your pets… in the room

    by Alex Anderson

    Love is in the air and in the bedroom during this time of the year. Enjoy yourselves and rejoice in the shared desire to bump uglies with the one you love, or happened to stumble upon, during Valentines day. The bedroom, living room couch, or steamy vehicle is where it typically happens, but one needs to read the room – or SUV – and contemplate what really needs to be in said room when the romance gets hot. Maybe some candles, speakers, a throw blanket to protect the furniture, but your pet does not make the list. Keep the pets out of the bedroom during the heat of battle. They do not need to fall victim to your bad angles. 

    Pooches, felines, hedgehogs or guinea pigs should not bear witness to your sensual endeavors. Subjecting your pets to such debauchery is not the move in today’s somewhat civilized world. Boundaries need to be set and your pet should be aware of those boundaries. Be a good parent and send the fur babies out of the room or to a friend’s house if needed.

    I know that some of you may be in sticky situations where you don’t have the opportunity to send your furry friend out of the bedroom. I do have sympathy for you but I hope you know that the pet knows you’re terrible at sex. I don’t care how bloated your ego is, they know the truth.

    I’m aware that I am spoiled with a one-bedroom apartment and the ability to close doors on curious pets. My partner recently moved into the apartment, bringing all four of her cats and her chihuahua that sleeps over occasionally. These animals, plus my glorious cat named Tibbles, brought the total to five cats and one shit-eating chihuahua. I love them all, which is why I now try to protect their sanity. 

    I used to be a degenerate, not caring what these animals witnessed, but several instances have forced me to reverse my opinion. I am not proud of it. Trust me. The last thing you want is your partner’s chihuahua licking your feet while journeying to the promised land. Or when you regret having the mattress less than a foot off the ground and one of the cats decides it’s a great time to purr in your ear when you’re quite preoccupied. I know this is Humboldt and standards are typically thrown out the steamy window, but there’s a time where lines need to be drawn. 

    You spent money on a nice dinner, watched “The Notebook,” and turned on the Lumberjack’s pleasure playlist to lay the framework of a beautiful sexual experience. Then, your partner’s blind cat yearns for help after getting stuck at the top of the cat tree in the middle of your romantic exploration. I can only laugh during these moments, but damn I feel bad for the little critters. They definitely did not sign up for this sort of weird connection to their owners and they most definitely talk shit behind your back.

  • Valentines for the unprepared

    Valentines for the unprepared

    graphic by Carlina Grillo

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Gifts: 

    Handmade cards: Handmade gifts are always better, even if they come out looking like a kindergartener made it. A quick Youtube search will show you a variety of cards to make, from a Victorian love-note to a pop-up book.

    Love letter: Literally, just tell them why you love them. If you’re bad at writing or expressing your feelings, do it in bullet points. Put it in an envelope, write their name and spray it with your favorite perfume or cologne. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be thoughtful. 

    Valentine gift basket: All you need is a basket, a pair of fuzzy socks, some of their favorite snacks, maybe a bottle of lotion or hand cream, a gift card, anything. The world is your oyster and it doesn’t have to cost more than $20.

    Flowers and a stuffed animal: Come on. Easy. Classic gift – even if it’s corny, it really does make a difference. 

    Playlist: You can do this on just about any music platform; Spotify, Apple Music, Soundcloud. Make them a playlist. It’s our generation’s version of a mixtape. 

    Order something online: That way, you can blame the post office for it not coming on time, and pretty much everyone but yourself for not planning ahead. 

    Dates: 

    Cafe Mokka: Already regretting listing one of my favorite spots in town, but they seriously have some of the best $5 hot chocolate in town, made with homemade whipped cream and love. Cash only. 

    Paul’s Pizza: You can sit next to each other in a booth and share a giant slice of pizza for no more than $8. So yummy and so cheap. 

    Arcata Marsh: It can be a little stinky sometimes, but it’s got one of the best views of the sunset and it’s accessible without a car. Smoke a joint or bring some sandwiches and watch some freaking birds. 

    Picnic in the Plaza: If the weather permits, a picnic in the Plaza can be super fun. With a couple finger foods and snacks, you can watch the Plazoids in their natural habitat. 

    Movie/TV show night: Fairy lights, pillows, blankets, snacks and a streaming service. All of which can be borrowed or acquired for cheap. 

    At the end of the day, your partner just wants to feel seen. Take a moment and think about who they are, what they like, and you will know exactly what to do for Valentine’s Day. 

  • Jasmin’s Corner; nothing is scarier than being stuck

    Jasmin’s Corner; nothing is scarier than being stuck

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,

    I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. I’ve known for a long while that we aren’t compatible as people, but we still have fun together. He’s just not emotionally mature, and lacks sincerity. We don’t ever really have substantial conversation – most of the time we spend just rotting together. I love his friend group though and things aren’t all bad. I just don’t want to lose everything I’ve built with him. I’m also so scared of how painful the breakup would be, ruining my semester and making it so hard to do the things I need and want to do. I am at a point where I feel stuck and have no clue what to do. Please help!

    Stuck is exactly where you need to be sometimes to realize you have to force some change in your life. No one wants to feel stuck – but no one’s gonna save you from it, either. 

    Two years is a pretty long time to get to know someone. What I think you should ask yourself is, would you still date the person you’re with if you knew everything you knew now? Would you still date them as they are? Or, are you dating this person with the intention of changing them? 

    We often find ourselves fixing things into the ways we want them to be, and unfortunately, people just aren’t like that. If they aren’t willing to put the work in to change for themselves, they aren’t going to put the work in to change for you – and they shouldn’t. You should date someone you feel is on your level and they should date someone who accepts them as they are. 

    Of course, you can grow together, but sometimes one person grows faster than the other. It’s okay to outgrow people, but we have to be willing to accept the consequences of letting them go. 

    Being alone is scary, and the Humboldt dating pool is even scarier. To me, however, nothing is scarier than being stuck. 

    In your comfortability, you’re losing time and opportunity. Your relationship isn’t a death sentence unless you let it be; you can find someone new to build with, you can make new friends and you can feel good.  Yes, you’re somewhat comfortable now, but imagine how happy you could be.

    Be honest, do you really see yourself marrying this person? If they proposed to you tomorrow, would you be excited? It doesn’t seem like it. 

    Free yourself of your love-made shackles, let yourself be uncomfortable and find yourself within your pain. 

    xoxo, 

    Jasmin

  • I was California sober, and still unfulfilled

    I was California sober, and still unfulfilled

    by Carlina Grillo

    This year I turn 21, and I’ve never been drunk in my entire life. 

    Looking back on that sentence, it seems counterintuitive. Legally I wouldn’t be allowed to drink anyway, so the night’s still young – right? Well, I don’t know, maybe the night is starting to get old.

    In March, it will be six years since I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I was a freshman in high school with a couple of alcoholic parents, and I wasn’t interested in drinking anyway. In fact, when the doctors told me I shouldn’t drink because of my epilepsy, I felt relieved to have an excuse not to drink. An excuse other than not wanting to – or because my dad died from alcoholism, that is. 

    The relief didn’t last though. Throughout highschool, I made friends with the stoners. It was easy because they wouldn’t drink like other teenagers, and I saw myself as a patient using marijuana medicinally – or at least that’s what I told my neurologist. Truth is, I’ve never had a medical problem with smoking weed or the occasional mushroom trip. I was California sober, as they say.

    When I moved to Humboldt for college, to no one’s surprise, I kept up with my “medicinal” lifestyle. In high school and throughout college, I’ve stayed close with people who aren’t heavy drinkers. No frat bros and no fake IDs. Just deadheads, med cards and many tours of our local herbal facilities. That’s why I chose Humboldt over other schools. The party scene is mostly BYOBs (bring your own bong) and forest shindigs. 

    All that being said, it’s impossible to avoid FOMO around alcohol. Whether it’s at parties, concerts, house dinners, first dates… even in pop culture – movies, music, books – it’s everywhere. It’s as if people think college students can’t be alcoholics.

    The problem I’ve always had with being California sober is the fact it never felt like I had an option. While everyone was drinking at parties, I needed to feel included in social settings. If I couldn’t pass a bottle at least I could pass a joint. I started smoking weed for fun, I kept smoking weed to feel like a normal college student. I thought because I didn’t drink I was sober, but I wasn’t. I was stuck in an in-between. 

    I wasn’t consciously choosing to be California sober. I couldn’t drink alcohol because of my epilepsy, and I couldn’t stop smoking weed because of Humboldt’s societal standards. After smoking weed for six years, it only made me anxious. I didn’t enjoy being high anymore, I just liked smoking in a circle with my friends. Smoking weed is a way of socializing. I don’t smoke cigarettes and I don’t vape, so how else was I supposed to fit in?

    At the end of last year, I made a choice. I’m already halfway there, why not embrace it? Lean into the discomfort. I guess at parties I’ll have to rely on my natural charm. Feel my emotions, feel the social anxiety, and ride out that feeling. When I’m sober I am in complete control. Epilepsy doesn’t rule me, my surroundings don’t rule me, my inner monologue is under control… like I said, just me and my natural charm. 

    Now when people offer me drugs, because let’s be honest it oddly happens all the time, I tell them I’m sober. This time I mean it. Nothing to justify, no specifying what sober means, just sober by definition. It’s even got a ring to it.

     “Yeah, I’m sober.”

    Spending time with friends, laughing until I’m crying, journaling before bed, it’s all got a new ring to it. 

    I still have my vices though. Ice cream by the quart, getting way too invested in board games, trauma dumping in the newspaper…

    You could say it’s a different kind of high, but I’d rather not. I’m sober. 

  • Ins and Outs of 2024

    Ins and Outs of 2024

    by The Lumberjack Staff

    In:

    • Pops of color
    • Talking about money
    • Tuna fish
    • Umbrellas
    • Reproductive rights
    • Workplace unions
    • Voting
    • Reading the newspaper
    • Physical media
    • Mindful walking
    • Eating in season
    • Community cooking
    • Tea
    • Journaling
    • Developing personal style
    • Accessories
    • Single era 
    • Confidence
    • Platonic relationships
    • Female rappers
    • Handmade clothing
    • Mending clothes
    • Listening to the radio (KRFH)
    • Fleece 
    • Canadian tuxedo
    • Cowboy boots
    • Wearing a mask
    • Clogs
    • Faux fur
    • Being unapologetic
    • Vests
    • Cats
    • Repurposing furniture
    • Advocating for yourself
    • Gardening
    • Living with your besties
    • Hydration

    Out:

    • Sleeping in past noon
    • Coffee
    • Apple Pay
    • Fast fashion
    • Vintage resellers
    • Losing yourself in a relationship
    • People pleasing
    • Fear of vulnerability
    • Shrinking yourself for others
    • Doom scrolling
    • Girl dinner
    • Vices
    • Drunk cigarette
    • Straight dating apps
    • Situationships
    • Bad eyesight 
    • Overpriced skincare
    • Male fragility
    • Micromanaging
    • Under-seasoning your food
    • Trend followers
    • Fetishizing 
    • Labeling others
  • The big scary world can be hard sometimes 

    The big scary world can be hard sometimes 

    by Emma Wilson

    The living world is hard to master at times

    thinking about how things shaped the past

    being in the present mind 

    of complicated nonstop life flow

    trying to live for a better future

    can be very complicated and painful

    But yet all remains still in the present

    Or does it? Maybe not

    But everything is connected

    Oh my gosh it’s connected!

    So hard,

    So complicated

    What am I even doing here?

    What am I even worth?

    Breathe… please brain…

    Breathe…

    Hold onto your truth

    You are strong, 

    You are loved,

    You are simply YOU 

    Please just be you!!!

  • Jasmin’s Corner; situationship follow up

    Jasmin’s Corner; situationship follow up

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Jasmin,

    I read your last article about situationships…

    The fact is. I’m in one, but I’m the other person. Not the person feeling sorry in the relationship. Not that I’m taking advantage of her, but she doesn’t want to fucking leave me. Even though she knows it’ll be the right thing for both of us. I feel bad for being on the other side though. 

    I’m kinda stuck too. My housing relies on her, so I haven’t ended things. 

    Oh, dear. Looks like someone accidentally pooped where they eat. 

    I’ve been where you are; literally, relying on housing from a bad relationship. I wasn’t in a place where I could just up-and-move either. 

    Realistically, you don’t have a lot of options here. You can either move or make up. The way I got out was by going to college and moving in the dorms, which seriously saved me. My life wasn’t in physical danger, thankfully, but I had definitely lost my sense of self. Moving made me regrasp control of my life. 

    It sounds like kissing and making up are out of the question in this situation. She’s not over you, but you’re clearly over her. The best thing you can do for the both of you is leave, though that’s easier said than done. 

    I know rent is crazy expensive around here – and hell, you might be stuck in a lease – but if you have any friends whose place you can crash at, do so immediately. Paying for a storage unit, or pitching in for a friend’s rent, will help you save money in the long run. You can start saving for a therapy fund. 

    You’ll never truly be ready for anything in life, whether it’s a relationship, moving or anything in between. You have to put yourself in a position where change can find you – ready or not. 

    xoxo,

    Jasmin

  • Why your gut knows what’s up before you do

    Why your gut knows what’s up before you do

    by Christina Mehr

    The best piece of advice my mom has ever given me is to trust my gut. Intuition is an amazing thing and as a highly sensitive individual, I have finally come to appreciate the signals my body tells me.

    Sometimes, we can’t explain why we get these strong instinctive hunches. The uneasiness in your tummy or the tightness of anxiety in your chest. Even when we don’t have all the information, our gut can lead us in the right direction. There’ve been a few situations where this has saved me.

    Recently two people very close to me, one being my cousin and the other my best friend, kept a secret from me. They had begun having romantic feelings for each other and instead of telling me, began sneaking around with their exciting new relationship.

    Over the course of the next six months, I began to notice a shift in dynamics. People on the outside of a relationship can usually tell something is happening before they even know it themselves. Before the advance in their relationship, I knew I was a priority in this trio, being the one who introduced the two in the first place.

    My friends around me would comment on their closeness, asking if I thought they were anything more than friends. I defended them to everyone who asked me what was going on, trusting that my cousin and best friend would be telling me the truth.

    My entire family and friend group noticed how they had become increasingly close, even to the point where she was coming over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, being included in family plans without me knowing about it. 

    When I started specifically asking my best friend about it, I was very quickly gaslit and manipulated into doubting the things I was noticing and the way I was feeling. They kept assuring me that nothing had been going on. 

    Things came to a head on New Year’s Eve, when I witnessed them sharing a kiss and began pushing me off to the side. Since I wasn’t getting the truth, I looked through my best friend’s phone and saw messages that confirmed my initial feelings. This reassured me that I was not delusional and that my feelings were justified. I was not just making things up.

    I now know to never second guess the way I’m feeling. When I get that pit in my stomach and my mind begins to run, I take a second to validate the way I’m feeling. I believe gut feelings are a result of our subconscious mind processing information and making quick judgments, protecting us from what we already may have suspicions of. 

  • It’s getting hard to be Jewish on campus

    It’s getting hard to be Jewish on campus

    by Zack Mink

    The biggest challenge with being Jewish on campus at Cal Poly Humboldt used to be the lack of community. There are small groups here and there but nothing that reminds me of home: a more reformed, modern take on Judaism. After the massacre on Oct. 7, 2023, being Jewish on campus has led to issues that I would not have expected from a school or peers that seemed to hold an immense amount of respect for minorities and Indigenous people. I still see these empathetic and humane values in some individuals, but from my experience it has become too easy for people to pick and choose who they respect, value, or who they are open to hearing from. This in turn has led to a new level of blatant antisemitism that I have not experienced before. 

    I want to make it clear that this piece is not about my opinions on the current geopolitical conflict between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, because I couldn’t even begin to take on that responsibility. I’m here simply to share that antisemitism is alive and well at Cal Poly Humboldt, and that finding a middle ground, having empathy and seeking peace is productive rather than dismissing, accusing or blatantly hating someone for sharing their lived experiences.

    Something that I have made clear since Oct. 7 is that I don’t want people to die. I don’t want death, destruction, genocide, ethnic cleansing or anything else that brings harm to Palestinians in Gaza or the civilians in Israel. This may seem basic to just objectively have empathy for human life, yet that is something that I always feel is missing when people send me hateful anti-semitic DMs accusing me of white supremacy, or of being a genocidal colonist. What they don’t see, or perhaps turn a blind eye to, is me consistently looking to educate myself as an American Jew using resources by Jews, Palestinians, Israelis, historical experts and anyone else providing concrete facts (modern or historical), because one perspective isn’t enough.

    Just two days after Oct. 7, anti-semitic messages were written on the sukkah on campus. A sukkah is a traditional Jewish structure used to celebrate the holiday Sukkot. The one thing that was on campus representing Jews (with no connection to the state of Israel) was vandalized. This outward act of anti-semitism was simply the beginning for me. 

    Just days after, a close friend and business mentor of mine who prides themselves on their knowledge of Indigenous history as well as supporting minorities self-determination and equal rights began discussing Jewish history with me. Since I trusted her as someone who is extremely educated on these topics, I wanted to understand her perspective on the current conflict, however different it might be from mine. A conversation I assumed would lead to progress for both of us. After this conversation, I discovered that she had unfollowed me, unshared her location, and essentially cut me out of her life completely. When I asked why, or if she would have another meaningful conversation with me, she said no because of our fundamental disagreements—the fundamental disagreement being that Jews are from the land of modern day Israel. 

    With thousands of years of documentation, it is quite clear and flat out historically accurate that Jewish people come from the Kingdom of Judea (previously colonized by the British, Ottomans, Crusaders, Arabs, Romans, Greeks, etc.) Does this take away from Palestinians’ lived experiences today? Absolutely not. Does it justify the actions of the Israeli government? Absolutely not. Is denying this fact erasing Jewish history and their connection to the land? Absolutely. 

    While I sit here holding empathy for Palestinian civilians in Gaza, acknowledging their pain, struggles and lived experiences, I simultaneously speak about Jewish lived experiences and Jewish history. We can and need to strive for peace, acknowledge and appreciate each other’s connection to the land, value life and not invalidate others to validate ourselves. 

  • Jasmin Corner; leave your situationship

    Jasmin Corner; leave your situationship

    By Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    Can I be in love with someone I’m not dating? This situationship has got me fucked up.

    How do I answer this without coming off like a complete bitch? Your situationship is not real. That’s not to say your feelings aren’t real, or that the love doesn’t exist – but a situationship is not a real thing. The creation of the label “situationship” has opened the doors for this generation to participate in an unwinnable battle: The IDGAF wars. I like you, so let’s find out which one of us can care the least to keep the other person interested without fully committing? 

    What is a situationship? To me, it’s one person caring more than the other. One person giving more than the other. One person receiving more than the other — you get it. A situationship will never fulfill you in the ways you’re looking for. Rather, this infatuation will leave you feeling more hollow. One person will always have more power than the other. 

    That’s not to say I don’t understand where you’re coming from; you caught feelings for the wrong person. It happens to the best of us. At the core of it, we are all just creatures looking for love, security, comfort, happiness; we want to feel desired and safe. There is no safety in a situationship. In fact, more often than not, they all have a three month shelf life. Seriously, name one situationship where things stayed good after that three month mark — if that existed, it would evolve into a relationship. 

    “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

    Everyone, their mother and their mother’s single best friend knows this phrase. It’s true though! We often don’t love ourselves enough to believe we deserve better, and so we stay in the situation(ships) we know because it’s the space we’ve decided to fill. You deserve to take up space with someone who will appreciate how you light up the room. 

    xoxo, 

    Jasmin

  • I don’t tell people I’m autistic. I’m trying to change that.

    By Griffin Mancuso

    When I was 14 going into my freshman year of high school, my mother enrolled me with a new therapist shortly before school started. My parents were concerned about the transition to high school and wanted me to have a support system. I also went to my hair stylist right before so that I’d look presentable for the first day of school.

    Just after getting my modernized Karen cut trimmed and getting in the car to go to my appointment, my mother turned to me and told me I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at four years old. She didn’t want to confuse me when I was younger and didn’t want the therapist to tell me first.

    I was livid, but somehow relieved. I finally had a reason for the continual failure to connect with my peers as a child; I had an answer to the “why?” that had plagued me since I started my education. I had a reason, which meant I had a path forward.

    Besides telling the entire campus I am autistic before even getting into this article, it’s normally something I don’t bring up. I had witnessed how neurodivergent people were treated throughout my childhood, and my greatest fear was being associated with them. I didn’t want to be “special.” I hated being talked down to by adults and peers. I was infantilized and dismissed until I eventually figured out how to pass as neurotypical.

    When I tell people I’m autistic, I’m usually met with surprise. I’m ashamed to say that I feel a bit relieved when I’m told that I don’t seem autistic or that they never would have guessed I was. Internalized ableism is a hell of a beast. I want to embrace my autistic identity, but I also want to blend into neurotypical society. Letting myself unmask means less built-up stress and being able to get things done, but blending in means having friends and job opportunities.

    With the life experience I have now, I have found that there is a lack of education on ASD among the general public and the medical field. I have been assessed for ASD twice because a therapist I had a few years ago didn’t believe I was autistic. Since autism assessments are based on outdated research, I was genuinely afraid that the psychologist doing the test wouldn’t believe me either. I’ve been met with hospital staff declaring me neurotypical after two minutes of knowing me.

    An autism assessment is almost traumatic in and of itself. There is no established test for older children and adults. The current test is made for young children and involves playing with toys and reading picture books. Having to play pretend with Barbies at 17 years old to prove you’re autistic is a little humiliating. I stomached the preschool voice that all adults use with autistic people and whatever juvenile task I was given to prove that my experience was real.

    I don’t want my autism to be defined by suffering and shame. I try to make connections with other neurodivergent people and allow myself to use resources that will help me. Being a part of a community has helped me cope with the stress of blending into neurotypical society. I still put on the mask when I go about my day, but I now have times when I can unwind with people who understand my experience.

    Autism has become much more visible in mainstream media since I was younger. There are autistic social media influencers and shows with autistic characters. While we aren’t quite there yet as a society, I have seen monumental progress in the normalization of autistic people. We now see a wider diversity of experiences and, with new social media platforms, we can see those experiences in everyday life.

    Our society was not made with neurodivergent people in mind. Being neurodivergent can look different for every person, and who are we to decide who gets to have the label and who doesn’t? Neurotypical people haven’t taken me seriously even with a diagnosis. 

    One of the biggest contributors to internalized ableism is worrying about what the majority thinks; worrying that the autistic community won’t be taken seriously because of your individual experience. You don’t have to prove to anyone that you are autistic, nor do you have to tone yourself down to make everyone else comfortable. You are allowed to put a label on your experience so you don’t have to continue asking yourself, “Why?”

  • BeReal is making social media fun again

    BeReal is making social media fun again

    by Carlina Grillo

    I’ve always wanted to be one of those girls with zero online presence; carrying around a flip phone, spending their downtime reading classic literature in a field of flowers. If you’re one of those people, feel free to stop reading now. 

    I, like many young people today, am the victim of chronic social media usage and the (more than) occasional doom scroll. I’ve always had a hard time embracing my social media crutch, but especially since middle school. It started one day after I lost a year-long “snap streak.” I rage-quit off the app, and never looked back. After getting the ick from Snapchat, I couldn’t fully quit. Some may say it made me cling onto other platforms, like Instagram, even more. 

    Now at this point you might be thinking to yourself, “What do you mean Carlina? Why can’t you be both a nature girly and an Instagram baddie?” I can, but if I am reading classic literature in a flower field, you already know it’s going on my Instagram story. Maybe even on the main feed with a cute little caption like, “love this life <3.” 

    But then… am I actually reading my book or did I all of a sudden get distracted and start looking at memes -– dare I say, doom scrolling -– even though I’m supposed to be enjoying the outdoors? It’s a vicious cycle. 

    Now look, this opinion isn’t to rant about social media, and maybe I just have a toxic relationship with the internet, but I’ve become honest with myself and my daily social media intake. Although there’s a lot of bad, there’s so much good, too. From new career opportunities to media coverage on a whole new level, social media is undeniably an important resource in today’s society. 

    That being said, the essential role social media plays in everyone’s day-to-day life has made certain platforms evolve from a place where you can see what your cousin in Idaho is doing to a constant stream of media published by people you’ve never met. Depending on how many accounts you subscribe to, the posts you’d like to see, like your Aunt Susan’s new pumpkin pie recipe, might get drowned and lost forever to the mainstream. That’s where the headline comes in. 

    I feel very strongly about the new(ish) social media platform: BeReal. I suppose I should mention this is not sponsored, although I wish it was. 

    BeReal is an app where users get a notification at a random time everyday. The notification goes off at the same time for each user, and at a completely different time each day. When you get the notification, you’re prompted to take a selfie, then a photo with the back camera. This quick photo spree creates a completely unfiltered feed of/for your close friends. If you give the app permission, it will even document your general location and what you’re listening to, so your friends on the app can get the whole vibe. For me, this ranges from my bestie sitting on the toilet, to that cousin in Idaho grinding homework, or maybe even a colleague at a concert. 

    It’s a beautiful thing, seeing what everyone is doing at the same time. Don’t fret though, if you miss the notification, you can post a late BeReal. Everyone sees you posted late, and you’re limited to one photo instead of the newly added feature where if you post your first photo on time, you get to post two more. 

    One time, after I had missed the BeReal notification, I decided to take my late BeReal during my maid of honor speech at my sister’s wedding. It was an epic ice-breaker, a beautiful moment and a memory captured on camera from my POV that will be forever cherished.

    In summary, here’s a few of the reasons you should ditch your current favorite social media and make the switch to BeReal: 

    • The rush of getting a BeReal notification. The joy of exclaiming, “It’s time to BeReal!” and seeing everyone pull out their phones.
    • Seeing everyone’s unfiltered, and at times ugly, selfies. 
    • Limited posts, so you’re unable to doom scroll. 
    • If you need more of a social media fix, you can see what your friends-of- friends are up to.
    • Getting an inside look into what your friends actually do day to day.
    • Having a collection of daily selfies to look back on.
    • And as a journalist, no news! Just a lighthearted escape from the stress of reality, and the constant stream of media we are always consuming.
  • Everything comes at a price. My newfound sanity came with an extra 65 pounds.

    Everything comes at a price. My newfound sanity came with an extra 65 pounds.

    by Savana Robinson

    Last year, after a bout of psychosis and mania, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar I. I was given a little blue pill called Abilify. Abilify (aripiprazole) is an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer that kept me on my rocker for a few months until my body started changing. I was prescribed Abilify in March 2023 when I weighed about 130 pounds. By May, I was 160. I went to my psychiatrist and he put me on Vraylar (cariprazine) which is a weight-neutral drug, meaning it should have stopped the weight gain. It didn’t. My general mental health was starting to decline, but at least I wasn’t convinced that everyone was out to kill me. I was probably overeating to some extent, but not enough to gain another 30 pounds. Yet around Nov., I hit 195. The drugs had wreaked havoc on my body and I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had started an antidepressant, Wellbutrin (bupropion) back in the summer and it slowly started to help me accept my body and not mope about it all the time.

    I decided to start Weight Watchers (WW) on Christmas Day. It was the best decision I’ve made in a while. It’s been almost a month and I’ve lost six pounds! I’d been tracking calories for seven months with no results, but doing WW, which factors in grams of fat, protein, carbs and more, I’m taking a more holistic approach to weight loss. It’s also like a game; I get daily and weekly points to spend on food and I have to budget my points like they’re money. I went from constantly planning what I was going to eat to only thinking about it right before eating.

    Even though my body is different than it was before my life-changing diagnosis, I’m still the happy person I was before. I wouldn’t say I’m the same; I’m stronger. I’m more resilient. I am grateful for my body and my opportunity to live this life in this world.

    No matter what you look like, if you’re happy, then you’re perfect. It took me a while to love myself even when I thought I didn’t deserve to. Now, as Billie Eilish said, ‘I’m happier than ever. I’m no longer trying to be someone else.’ I’m just being Savana Motherfucking Robinson.