The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Category: Opinion

  • Sipping superb cider at The Local Cider Bar; review

    by Christina Mehr and Andres Felix Romero

    Overall vibes

    The Local Cider Bar is a chill sit-down spot that would be perfect for a mellow first date vibe or an end to a great date. Imagine having a piece of pie and a cider to bond over, or end your night. 

    However, our only drawback is that food does close at 8 p.m. 

    The music was okay, more on the chill indie side.

    They do offer free water which is a bonus. 

    The Cider Bar did have clean selfie-worthy bathrooms.

    The Cider Bar was well-lit and had a relaxing atmosphere with soft indie music playing over the speakers. The environment there felt safe.

    Seating Options and Decor

    The large windows, giving patrons a view of the patio and street, gave the somewhat smaller interior a more spacious atmosphere. If you are someone who loves nautical themes, the big barrels used for seating and tables are a huge plus. The Cider Bar itself has a large wooden bar for patrons to sit alongside a host of tables. The interior design, with its mix of wood and industrial vibe, would allow the Cider Bar to fit into cities like Berkeley.

    The outdoor seating is also a great option for those who want some fresh air, rain or shine. Canopies with space heaters and strung-up light bulbs give your senses a warm and dry feel to the outdoor area of the Cider Bar. However, no smoking is allowed.

    Alcohol

    Flights for $15.

    Swipe right – was sweet and fruity with a hint of cherry .

    Black current – good, but a deeper wine flavor.

    Chile Guava – not spicy enough and a dry cider.

    Dragon Fruit – had a sweet aftertaste, like an adult Capri Sun.

    Blurberry – stronger aftertaste, dark, strong, packaged as wine and wasn’t cidery enough.

    Strawberry – sweet, juicy, good solid cider. Can’t go wrong with strawberries. 

    Mango daydream – not enough flavor, Le Croix lookalike. A hint of piss if you’re into golden showers.

    Gingergrass – very ginger acidic. If you’re a ginger lover then its right up your alley

    Food Review

    Had a wide selection of pies with vegetarian options included. 

    Sweet pies:

    Apple Crumble with Ice Cream – This was my favorite pie. The warm pie with the cold ice cream was an enjoyable temperature contrast.

    Black Bottom Coconut Pie – It was rich and thick, with chocolate mousse and whipped cream.

    Savory pies:

    Veggie Pie – Made my soul feel warmed, which was great considering the cold weather outside.

    Chicken Pot Pie – Crust was flaky, and the pie overall was moist and gooey in a delicious way. There was a very nice hint of sage present with the taste. The pie was warm, homey, yummy and definitely made with love.

    Overall Rating = 4.5/5  STARS

    4.5/5 apple pies.

  • Jasmin’s corner: don’t date your friends unless you’re smart about it

    Jasmin’s corner: don’t date your friends unless you’re smart about it

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hey Jasmin, 

    I have a crush on not one, but three of my friends and I don’t know what to do. I’ve liked all three of them for different amounts of time and have a different amount of feelings for each. Should I do anything about it or should I just let it die out?

    I see we have a pot-stirrer in the mix. You wanna kiss all your friends? Join the club! You wanna date all your friends? That’s where it can start to get tricky. 

    First off, it’s totally normal to have feelings for different people, even at the same time, so don’t think you’re a freak or anything. It’s what you do with those feelings that can change the trajectory of your life – no pressure, though. 

    I think you should really figure out if you like them, or if you like the idea of them. Someone could be a great friend, but a terrible partner. A label change can do a lot of things to some people, and even if they like you back, they may not be ready for a relationship. 

    If you really feel like pursuing something, decide which one of your friends you like the most and if it’s worth confessing your feelings. If you want to stay friends whether or not they reciprocate feelings, clarify that to them too, so they don’t feel pressured about losing your relationship in general. However, be wary that it may alter your friendship going forward. If you’re willing to take that risk, go for it. If not, I say let it die out, and don’t become a victim of friend-cest. Especially if you all hang out as a group – that can get so weird. 

    xoxo,

    Jasmin

    Jasmin Shirazian is the head copyeditor and regular love and relationship columnist for The Lumberjack. She can be contacted at jasminshirazian@gmail.com.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Treat yourself better

    Jasmin’s Corner: Treat yourself better

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,

    I feel like men only really want me for my body? Am I doing something wrong?

    My friend, it’s not necessarily that you’re doing something wrong, but perhaps you’re not treating yourself well. As someone who spent her teenage years feeling this way, it took a long time for me to realize that I was centering my value – and really, my life – around men, specifically their validation. 

    I spent a really long time looking for ways to prove I was worthy of love, and I recognize now that that led to becoming very hypersexual. And while that made for me to be a decent love and relationship writer, it also created a pattern of accepting men into my life that had no business being there. 

    I allowed men to validate me through my body and this took several years of introspection to begin to break the habit. It appears in subconscious ways, such as begging for a text back, allowing the title of ‘situationship’ and plenty of other ways in which we accept crumbs of love. We make excuses for behaviors we wouldn’t exhibit to justify how it makes us feel, but that doesn’t mean we deserve it – or that we need it at all. 

    That’s not to say that you’ve done the same thing, because there are also plenty of wolves in sheep’s clothing out there, but I recommend reflecting on why you accept the love that is offered to you and if you lower your value to accept it. 

    Oftentimes, we are so self-critical that we miss the worth and light within ourselves. I don’t necessarily think you’re doing anything wrong, but I don’t think you’re treating yourself right. It won’t be a quick and easy process, but I remember the first time I didn’t beg for a text back from a guy I really liked – that obviously didn’t respect me – I felt, what I think, was my first true sense of self-respect, at least in regards to dating. 

    I had to learn that sometimes it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. I had to spend time with myself and enjoy my own company to realize the value in it, and I think that would be good for you, too. 

    All the love for you.

    xoxo, 

    Jasmin

  • How to host the perfect function; tips and tricks from an expert

    How to host the perfect function; tips and tricks from an expert

    by Zack Mink

    With the 2024 spring semester starting this week, friends coming back to town, parties, kickbacks, hangouts and get-togethers are going to be in full swing. As someone who has lived on campus and now is off-campus, I take it upon myself to be a host to my friends and build a safe place to reconnect. With this privilege, along with my passion for hospitality and my culinary expertise, I’m sharing four tips and tricks to be a good host even on a limited college budget.

    1. Prioritize yourself and your financial security. 
    • As I mentioned before, friends are coming back into town and our full class schedules loom over the horizon. This might seem like the best time to get together with your friends, splurge a little bit and maybe even ignore the numbers slowly lowering in your bank account. But, from my own experience, it is never worth sacrificing a week’s worth of groceries for a night out on the town. Setting boundaries and being open about financial status, if comfortable, is the first step to being a good host. 
    1. Communicate and accommodate 
    • Nothing is worse than going to your friend’s place and finding out that you can’t enjoy what someone has prepared or had planned. Whether it is a food restriction, physical accommodation, or even just a personal preference, checking in with your guests to see what they might like or can’t enjoy is important to make sure they are happy and well taken care of. 
    1. Be attentive
    • Being a host whether for a small get-together or a larger event requires you to stay on your toes and look out for your guests and their needs. Sometimes, you might be running around refilling people’s beverages, replenishing snacks or making sure everyone is included in the fun. This responsibility certainly requires you to pay constant attention to each and every one of your guests, but I believe that should be easy and come naturally if you’re around the people you care about.
    1. Your house, your rules
    • Setting house rules is a necessary boundary for not only your guests to have a good night, but for you, the host, to enjoy yourself before, during and after your get-together. For a big party, this might look like having a bedroom off-limits, capping the volume of music (so the party can keep going) or making clear what time the party will be over. For a small event, this might be something as simple as taking your shoes off inside or coasters being used on your favorite table. Some might see these boundaries as unnecessary or over the top, but they really just represent a certain level of consideration that guests should have when entering someone’s home. They also can make the cleaning-up process much easier for the host the next day. 

    So, next time you get together with your friends, or next time you go out to a party, keep these four tips in mind to ensure that you and your friends have a great time and a peaceful introduction to the new semester.

  • The Boy and the Heron review: magical on the screen and off

    The Boy and the Heron review: magical on the screen and off

    by Griffin Mancuso

    There is a whimsical quality to seeing a movie in the theater. 2023 was a year with many thought-provoking and conversation-starting films like “Killers of the Flower Moon” and “Barbie.” I rarely go to theaters now, but as an enjoyer of Studio Ghibli films, I had to see “The Boy and the Heron” with the classic theater experience. There is no better place to get the classic theater experience than the Broadway Cinema in Eureka. 

    Like any chain theater, the neon sign on the front had not been replaced in a very long time, leaving only the Y glowing in the dusk. The lobby was filled with the sharp smell of popcorn and the carpets were dull and faded where people had walked. While lacking in staff and attendees, the theater still had its charm in the form of large star lights on the ceiling and orange neon accents around the snack table.

    I settled into my cushy chair just in time for the film to start. “The Boy and the Heron” was enough to bring famed Ghibli director Hayao Miyazaki out of retirement, so I had high expectations.

    Before I continue, a minor spoiler alert for this movie.

    The movie begins with the piercing sound of air raid sirens against a gray backdrop of houses, placing us in World War II-era Japan. We meet our protagonist, a young boy named Mahito living in Tokyo, who loses his mother in a hospital fire on that night. Years later, Mahito’s father marries his late wife’s sister Natsuko and moves them to the countryside.

    While trying to adjust to his new life and the loss of his mother, Mahito encounters a strange talking heron who tells him his mother is alive and needs to be rescued from another world. The heron, a mischievous creature who we soon discover is not a heron at all, also traps Natsuko in this alternate world, forcing Mahito to track down the heron and travel to the other world.

    The film tackles themes of family, loss and escapism that mirror Miyazaki’s own experiences. Like many of his films, it is a coming-of-age story that requires the protagonist to embrace fantasy to grow, then let go of it in order to move forward. The parallel world Mahito travels to acts not as a purgatory, but rather as a gateway to many alternative universes. This world contains wild creatures ranging from giant man-eating parakeets to small white blobs called the warawara, which eventually ascend to the human world to be born as human babies. 

    Along his journey, he meets younger versions of the people in his life, including one of the old women living in the countryside house with him and his family. There are so many layers to the world of “The Boy and the Heron” that it feels like a mix of a child playing pretend and a ƒvivid dream.

    The magical wonder of the film didn’t stop at the screen. I’m not sure how it got into the theater, but a small sparrow briefly joined us. It fluttered around the ceiling, adding a bit of immersive surround sound, and the audience couldn’t help chuckling when it settled in front of the projector, leaving a giant bird-shaped silhouette on the screen. It didn’t linger long, but just enough to make me wonder about the irony of its appearance.

    No matter the quality of the story, a Studio Ghibli film never disappoints in the animation category. The characters, while simple in design, move fluidly against meticulously painted backgrounds. Studio Ghibli is famous for preserving the art of hand-drawn animation and drawing on physical media, which helps preserve the detail in the backgrounds. Any use of 3D animation only enhances the magical effects throughout the film, and it is impossible to tell where the hand-drawn animation starts and the 3D animation ends.

    The story itself is complex and the world doesn’t always make sense, but I think it’s meant to be that way. Like most other Ghibli films, the story moves at a leisurely pace and then rapidly picks up the pace in the final act. It is one of Miyazaki’s more esoteric films, which may not appeal to everyone. The meaning behind some of the recurring motifs like birds and fire are up to interpretation, which impacts what each viewer will take away from the film. 

    “The Boy and the Heron” is an individualized experience that doesn’t fully reveal all its secrets. There are story elements that are never explained and blurs between dreams and reality. To fully enjoy the film, viewers will have to put that aside and inhabit the mind of a curious child.

    While not my favorite Ghibli film, I greatly enjoyed my experience watching it at Broadway. As I left, feeling dazed from the visual explosion at the end of the film, two staff members stood near the exit wondering how the bird got inside and where it flew off to. I like to think the bird wanted to appreciate Miyazaki’s work.

  • Students should support the CFA strike

    by Alexandra Berrocal

    First, they came for our housing.

    Then, they came for our alternative housing students.

    Now, they are coming for our professors.

    When is this going to end?

    At this time, it is easier than ever to develop an ‘us versus them’ mentality. However, we need to remember that students and professors are all in this together. When we stood up for the right to basic housing last year, professors stood with us. When students living in their vehicles were, for heaven’s sake, cruelly kicked out of the school parking lots, professors stood with us. Professors have always been our allies in a world that seems to be squeezing us tighter and tighter. 

    Let’s make this clear: the world is becoming a harsher and harsher place to live, and universities, unfortunately, are not exempt from this. Students can still struggle throughout their college experience for all kinds of reasons. Despite the university attempting to make it easy for students to access mental health resources and disability accommodations, accessing those services can still be hard for people. We need them now more than ever.

    I personally cannot justify the university only giving staff a month of parental leave. How can anyone justify leaving a new baby without their parent at daycare after only a month? Professors should have a semester of parental leave, at least. That should just be common sense, and I don’t understand how that isn’t the law of the land. I also cannot believe that some of the lecturers who are so willing to share their expertise with the students are not making liveable wages. This is unconscionable. I believe that college professors and lecturers deserve the greatest respect because they pass down important knowledge and educate the new generation. This respect should extend to transgender and non-binary staff. It is basic common sense that there should be access to gender-neutral bathrooms for faculty. Students these days claim to care about trans rights, yet fail to advocate for their leadership’s rights to these same facilities. Universities claim to be bastions of progressive ideals yet they pay lip service to trans students, while simultaneously neglecting their own faculty. Speaking of faculty, my former faculty advisor was swamped with work that was completely unrelated to teaching last semester and I know that he is not alone. My advisor has had to do more administrative work lately with less time to focus on her passion for teaching. From my point of view, that’s pretty crazy – and not in a good way.

    When we protested, our teachers stood with us. It’s time for us to stand with them.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    by Jasmins Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    The guy I recently ghosted became my neighbor, and I found out the guy I’m talking to now is his roommate. Neither of them know yet, but he invited me to come over tonight. Me and the other guy ended on really awful terms and I don’t even think he would let me in his house – like I made him cry. I kinda want to just go over and see what happens. Thoughts?

    Oh, you’re a messy bitch – I love you! Let me tell you, there are messier situations you could be in. Like, say they were brothers and you swapped them out for each other within a 24 hour cycle… been there done that, amirite? Point is, even though you’re stuck between a cock and a hard place, there are bigger cocks and harder places, so don’t fret. 

    In life, we often find ourselves in sitcoms all the time. Sometimes I say to just live for the plot! If you like this guy, why not try to see what happens with him? You’re going to have to be honest with him about your previous situation with his roommate, but we are literally all adults. dibs aren’t real and winner takes all. If you click, you click and if you don’t, you don’t. Worst case scenario, if he’s a ‘bro-code’ kind of guy, you’re honestly dodging a bullet anyway. 

    Though, it kind of seems like you owe the other guy an apology. I’m not sure how intense of a relationship you had with him, but you should definitely sit down and say sorry for ghosting him – it’s just a shitty thing to do all around if you hung out for more than a few weeks. As a ghoster and a ghostie, I’ve learned there are better ways of handling those situations than leaving unfinished business; shit always has a way of staying in your cheeks. Unless he was being weird or threatening – if that’s the case, just leave the whole house alone. 

    You’ll all be fine in the end. 5 years from now, I bet none of you will matter to each other. Have fun, be wild, have sex with whoever you want to, have an orgy, use a rubber, get tested, and always have enthusiastic consent!

    xoxo,

    jasmin

  • Be open and honest for better dating

    by Kianna Znika

    We live in a time where most of us are liberated and independent enough to know that dating isn’t a necessity; we’ve done the work to be okay on our own. We pour love into ourselves, additionally surrounding ourselves with the healing, platonic love from our friends and family. 

    When I first started celebrating my independence as a single person, I had a couple of realizations. First was that I genuinely loved who I was and the life I was creating for myself. I couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I’d justify unsatisfying connections, convincing myself that kindness should compensate for a lack of genuine interest. I’d cling to situations that left me miserable, telling myself excuses like, “Well, they’re kind of nice to me, so it’s okay,” or “Maybe I’m just being shallow.”

    I was chipping away at my self-worth and esteem by invalidating my true wants and needs, accepting less than satisfactory situations when I knew, deep down, that my heart wanted more.

    Being brutally honest with oneself is a mantra I now live by. It’s the compass that guided me to the other realization — I am, at my core, a romantic soul yearning for genuine connection and love.

    Now, I’m not saying that this is something I need in my life; rather, it was a beautiful change in mindset towards dating. I will flow through my life and open my heart to love, but I will only involve myself in connections that match my own wants and needs.

    “I don’t need to be with someone. So if I am going to be with someone, it’ll be because it’s my dream scenario,” is what I told myself.

    And, although this isn’t the one-step cure to dating – I definitely still found myself in dissatisfying situations along the way – I am so grateful that I stayed true to what I wanted because I can now confidently say that I found that dream scenario. I am happily in a relationship with someone who aligns with my aspirations and supports my joy and independence.

    Now, imagine if I hadn’t been honest along the way?

    While I’m proud of the normalization of polyamory, I’ve witnessed some people force themselves into it when all they really want, deep down, is to focus on one romantic partner. Let’s keep celebrating all personal loving and dating styles, embracing the beauty of individual preferences. If you want monogamy, own it. It’s okay. Be honest and you’ll attract someone who wants to be monogamous with you, too.

    I hear people say they’re not looking for something serious, while continuously doing and saying things that prove to me that what they really want is a relationship. I believe they do this in order to “be chill” and protect themselves. It seems like everyone in the dating scene right now isn’t looking for anything serious. But, what if some people are only saying that because everyone else is?

    I’m grateful that I was honest with myself about the type of dating experience I wanted. I was unapologetically upfront about wanting a genuine relationship, even on the first date. Crazy? No, just emotionally available and confident.

    So, don’t settle. If you want a certain type of dating experience, odds are someone else out there wants the same thing. They exist, just like you do. Remember: dating isn’t a necessity, so might as well make it exactly what you want and deserve. Your dream scenario is not only possible; it’s worth it. 

  • Self-diagnosed autism is a trend

    by Kae Dennert

    I would like to preface this with the words: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH DIAGNOSES; I believe autism is incredibly real, and a struggle a lot of people deal with, but I also believe that with the internet these days, it has become trendy to have the newest popular mental illness. 

    I have been diagnosed with many things in the past few years, so I am aware how tricky getting a diagnosis is, so I’m not going to shut down self diagnosis as a whole, as it isn’t that black and white. Walking down memory lane, back in 2016 it was incredibly “quirky” to post about how depressed you are, and it became something where everyone tried to outstage each other, which also brought along people who felt they felt similarly to the creators posting about it, which led to people self-diagnosing. 

    This again happened in 2019-2020, where it suddenly became a trend to have anxiety, and that was once again followed in 2021 where it was a trend to have ADHD. Now where am I headed with this? Earlier this year there was an uptick in trending conversations on what symptoms could mean you are possibly secretly autistic. This led to many “oh my god maybe I’m autistic I keep seeing these videos” comments. 

    Now, there are certainly people who saw these videos, felt like they saw themselves, and decided to take steps to use tools to help them, or help them get diagnosed, and I think that it’s amazing that awareness online can help people, but I also think it has become hard to decipher who is pretending for attention, and who actually needs the help. It has been trendy to make videos about what symptoms are “autistic” (which also overlap heavily with other disorders, like ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc.) with no further context of what could be going on besides autism.

    These narrowings into one answer don’t take into account each person’s individuality and their struggles and what that can mean for them. Because diagnoses overlap, the trending diagnosis is the one that is going to stick. This can shut people down and discourage them from finding more answers that could have helped them more in the long run.

    It locks people in a corner, and they can believe there is no other option for them besides aligning with that determination. Because of this many people don’t search for answers that could lead them to help, because other illnesses become stigmatized while being “neurotypical” gets you scrutinized for not understanding the viewpoint of neurodivergence. I think that everyone should be able to be themselves without having to shape themselves into different people for others, but doesn’t everyone want that? 

    At the end of the day, a new trend will inevitably pop up, and people will swear up and down in their life that they “never had autism” and instead have the new hip trending illness.

  • Flush that fecal matter

    Flush that fecal matter

    by Jillian Wells

    Well folks, buckle up because we’re diving deep into the uncharted territory of unflushed mysteries on campus. I never thought my college experience would involve investigative journalism in the bathroom, but here we are. 

    Picture this: you just got out of class, you’ve been a hydrated queen all day and drank all 21 ounces of water from your HydroFlask, now your bladder is about to implode on itself, so you rush to the bathroom expecting a nice, clean, flushed environment. When all of a sudden, you peer into the stall and see a huge, nasty piece of feces. Every other stall is currently occupied, panic is starting to set in because you’re running out of time, sweat trickles down your forehead from the pain in your bladder and realization about what you’re about to go through, with no other choice, you brave the stall with nothing but a pile of shit. It’s a shitty situation, no pun intended.  

    Now that we understand each other and the situation a bit more, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of unflushed shit in public restrooms on campus. I truly don’t understand the reasoning behind the decision to not flush your fecal matter, and genuinely have so many questions. 

     What do you hope to gain? Do you enjoy it when other people see your poop? Is it some form of protest? Is there an underground society of non-flushers plotting world domination one unflushed toilet at a time? Are you at all concerned about the poor souls who have to see your waste? I really am curious about the why of it all, if you’re someone who doesn’t flush your poop in public restrooms, let me know.

    I can’t speak to this being an issue in men’s bathrooms, because as a female with she/her pronouns, I tend to avoid mens bathrooms like the plague. But, I hope for those of you out there who use men’s bathrooms, that the situation isn’t as shitty as it has been in the womens and gender neutral bathrooms. 

    I’ve probably seen the unwelcomed sight of unflushed fecal matter in just about every major public restroom on campus, the main offenders include Gist Hall, the Library and Founders Hall. This problem has gotten out of hand. 

    Not to shame those of you who don’t flush your poop, but it’s 2023 and we have more important issues to deal with than looking at your unflushed creations. I think I speak for everyone when I say, flush your poo, no one wants to see it! It’s not like we have to pay the water bill, that’s the school’s job (or whoever pays it), so flush that fecal matter!

  • What even is being alive?

    by Emma Wilson

    A constant motion of lovely things

    A constant flow through an endless cycle 

    As a being 

    Being a being with other beings 

    I remember this flow I live through

    And the things that help me feel

    Walking in the forest moves my feet 

    Swimming in the river holds my aching spine

    Climbing up that incline allows me to hear my heartbeat

    Biking down the street makes my breath feel divine 

    Moving through the world reminds me of what is real

    Even through this rough tough world

    I feel as though I can be alive 

    Not alone anymore 

    Even when I remember being so 

    so, so alone

    I know people too understand 

    For I am here

    A being just being real

    Though I am constantly afraid

    I am strong with those standing by my side.

  • Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    by Alana Hackman

    If you were alive in 2016 – which I hope most of you were – you are probably familiar with the meme, “take her swimming on the first date,” in reference to the glam makeup that was trending at the time. Makeup-wearers were showing up to third period Pre-Algebra in Anastasia dip brow, matte semi-permanent liquid lipsticks, false eyelashes and the glitter cut creases.

    Mainly men — young boys I should say — weaponized this sweet and fun makeup against women at the time to birth the meme. It alluded to the idea that if women swam on the first date, their makeup wouldn’t stay on and you would see their bare faces for what they really are. Many used the meme to reference that you could finally see she was actually ugly? I don’t really know. Just another way to criticize nothing but some girly fun! It doesn’t really make much sense either cause the majority of women aren’t hiding behind their makeup. For most, it’s just another method of self expression. 

    Anyways, nearly seven years later from the birth of that insulting meme, I believe it is time for another. In reference to the mullet and mustache madness that has taken Humboldt County and artsy Californian men by storm, I propose we start taking men to barber shops on the first date. 

    Why, you may ask? It’s literally impossible to swipe on any dating app without getting harassed by some man and his sorry excuse for a mullet and ‘70s porn-stache. These days the mullet has been snatched away from the grips of Bowie’s killer androgynous looks and into the dirty (actually, suspiciously clean) hands of trust fund, wanna-be, Ventura County fake cowboys. 

    I miss the days when the mullet was exclusively for lesbians, the nonbinary folks and good old country bumpkins. I don’t wanna see a mullet on you unless you have a long family lineage in Arkansas, or pair it with some array of facial piercings. 

    The mullet and mustache combo being adopted by vintage Carhartt resellers and BMW drivers is not only unrealistic, but also can be qualified as the wig and makeup for most straight men. The combo is used to really sell the whole “working man” look that’s trending for straight guys. When in reality, the most hard labor they’ve done is hash it out with Depop’s buyer support after moving to Humboldt county from the most suburban Bay Area neighborhood ever. 

    Shave that furry lip adornment off and BOOM – top lip is nowhere to be found. All of a sudden, that so-called sexy rugged man you thought you were seeing is back to a Bitcoin-selling Twitch streamer that yells way too aggressively at his mom. 

    What’s a girl gotta do to find a real authentic mullet-wearing straight man these days? The whole liberal cowboy thing is hot, but can only go so far. I’m gonna start asking these mustached men to show me proof of them driving a tractor or a forklift certification if they really wanna get to know me – just so I know they aren’t fakers and actually deserve their mullet and mustache privileges. 

    So ladies, next time that Tinder man with the Pabst Blue Ribbon obsession (bordering on alcoholism), vintage Marlobro hat and mullet/mustache combo asks to take you out on a date to the vintage reseller market, may I recommend the barber shop?

  • The campus parking patrol sucks

    by Brad Butterfield

    I have this old 1978 Mercedes 300d named Cocoa. I spent somewhere around 100 hours over summer repairing her rust-holes and fixing a plethora of engine issues. Cocoa runs pretty well now, and most of the holes are patched – most, but not all. As a result, I’ve been covering her during Humboldt County’s rainy days. Throughout summer and the fall semester, Cocoa has been parked on campus, covered, without issue. She is properly permitted to park on campus.

    Then, on Monday, Nov. 13, along with two parking citations on my RV, Cocoa had a nasty $40 citation taped to her cover. The RV parking tickets list “no use of vehicle for living/overnight” and “beyond designated lines,” as reasons for citation. The comment section of the $53 “overnight” violation reads, “windows covered,” as proof I was occupying the RV overnight. My RV, Tibby, was parked within the designated lines, as shown by the Parking Patrol’s own photos. 

    That’s $173 in parking fines for properly parked and permitted vehicles in two days.

    Monday marked the first morning of the university’s sudden enforcement of the regulation against overnight sleeping in vehicles on campus. Three weeks of meetings with administrators on this issue resulted in more confusion than clarity. I had been told by Lt. Peter Cress of university police that multiple days of probable cause and/or reasonable suspicion proving one’s vehicle was being used for sleeping would have to be established before citation or other disciplinary actions like academic probation, suspension or arrest could be considered. Cress was either misguided, misinformed or purposefully misleading, as nearly every van, bus and RV was cited on the morning of Nov. 13. Even van-dwelling students who had accepted the university’s offer for temporary dorm housing received parking citations. Most of us vehicle dwellers, aware of the university’s attempt to evict us, were not in our vehicles when given citations. We stayed at friends’ houses, on gym floors and in dorms. No attempts were made to discern if the vehicles were actually occupied. The university went ahead with a blanket citation for all potential vehicle dwellers citing ‘windows covered’ as reason for the expensive citations.

    In black sharpie on an old pizza box, I wrote my permit number and placed it on Cocoa’s (covered) windshield so as to avoid further citation on the 14th. Despite this I, again, awoke to a $40 citation on Cocoa taped next to my blatant pizza-box-sign showcasing my permit number. 

    Whether or not I have been targeted for my weeks of advocacy for Cal Poly Humboldt’s homeless students is difficult to prove –  especially with an administration that governs like a closed-off dictatorship. Particularly suspicious are the citations on Cocoa, which had been parked and covered, in the G11 lot adjacent to the Parking Patrol kiosk during most of the fall semester without issue. Regardless, four parking tickets totalling $173 for properly parked and permitted vehicles is ludicrous. 

    After Cocoa’s second citation, I asked Krista Paddock (Transportation & Parking Services) questions to clarify the reasoning behind the citation. Paddock was immediately hostile, wholly unhelpful and displayed a total lack of professionalism and respect.

    I attempted to set up a meeting with Cris Koczera, Director of Risk Management & Safety Services, and Mark Johnson, Chief of Staff, mediated by university Ombuds, Suzanne Pasztor, to discuss parking enforcement and the creation of a safe parking program on campus. Kozcera agreed to the meeting, but Johnson did not.

    “I heard back from Mark Johnson this afternoon.  He is stating that neither he nor Chris Koczera will be meeting with you. He is indicating that the university’s policy on this, and its stance on the options presented is clear. For this reason, he thinks that no constructive discussion is to be had,” Pasztor sent in an email on Monday evening.

    Johnson introduced himself to The Lumberjack team as the “relationship builder,” and said he would commit to being available during a presentation on Sep. 28. So far, every meeting I have attempted to schedule with the grand relationship builder has been ignored, canceled or cut short. 

    Every conversation with parking patrol officers regarding these unjust citations has resulted in them repeating, “You’re welcome to contest the citation online.” Well, that’s not good enough for me. I’ve been wrongly cited four times in two days. I’ve paid to park on campus and should not be cited without just cause.

    Hey Parking Patrol, leave me alone – please!

    Your Friend,

    Brad Butterfield

  • Should we own pets?

    Should we own pets?

    by Griffin Mancuso

    Many of us consider our pets to be our children. And like children, they become a focal point in our lives. Some of us may have social media accounts dedicated to our furry, feathered, or scaly children and our experiences raising them. Some may have shirts or bags proudly declaring our status as pet parents. Some even spend hundreds of dollars a month on toys, gear, and other enrichment for their pet. We make the choice to let a living being into our lives and take care of them, giving us a sense of fulfillment and joy. We would give them the whole world if we could.

    But is the world you’re giving your pet making them happy?

    There are limits to what we can provide our pets. Unfortunately, we are raising our animals in a world made for humans. For dog and cat owners, we cannot let them run free outside without the risk of them getting hurt or ending up in the back of an animal control van. Reptile owners cannot give their pets a perfect replica of the desert or jungle they were meant to live in. Bird owners can’t give their feathered companions the sky to explore and rodent owners have to keep their pets confined to cages and pens for most of the day.

    Does that mean we should trash the collars and cages and set our animals free? Not necessarily.

    The most common household pets like dogs, cats, rabbits, or hamsters are domesticated species and, at the very least, tolerate human interaction. Independent bioethicist and writer Jessica Pierce suggests that dogs and cats in particular may have been active participants in their domestication process. 

    For example, a study headed by psychologist Juliane Kaminski with the University of Portsmouth, UK, found that dogs evolved to have “puppy dog eyes” as a means of communicating with humans. Cats also developed a unique way of communicating with humans—meowing. Cats rarely meow at each other, but rather use it to ask their humans for attention, food, or other needs.

    Having a pet isn’t inherently unethical, but the way in which we love our pets and care for them needs to come from a place of well-researched knowledge and compassion for them.

    Research and reflection is a critical step before adopting a pet. If you want to adopt a pet, do you have the financial means to take care of one? What type of pet will you get? How will you obtain this pet ethically? Are you ready to handle potential physical or mental health issues your pet may experience? Does the type of animal you want live better alone, as a pair, or in a group? How much space will they need? Are you able to take them to the vet regularly? What physical and mental stimulation will this pet need and do I have time to give it to them? If you go out of town, should you hire a pet sitter or board them in a facility?

    Once you have obtained your pet, you are making a commitment to take care of them for their entire life. Now the second-most difficult part of pet ownership begins. Some requirements for pet ownership are objective, like giving them adequate food, water, shelter, and not causing them unnecessary suffering. But like children, everyone raises them differently. 

    There are endless choices of enclosures, gear, food, enrichment, training, and medical decisions to make. You can ask an expert like a veterinarian or trainer for advice or do research on your own time.

    The first and most painful part of owning a pet is the guilt. There will always be someone telling you that you aren’t doing enough, and usually that someone is yourself. You may spend hours researching and hundreds of dollars buying the best food and toys, but the brief rush of dopamine is ever fleeting. 

    I find that spending some quality time with your animal baby helps combat the random surges of panic and guilt—take your dog out on a hike, play with your cat, give your rodent or reptile an extra piece of fruit and give them very gentle pets if they are up for it. If you have a fish, stare lovingly at them through the glass.

    Education is a powerful thing, and by taking the time to learn how to keep your pet fulfilled and happy, you are helping shift the tide in today’s pet industry. Your pet is a responsibility and a living being with feelings and wants, and you need to treat them as such. If you were a couple inches or a couple feet tall, you wouldn’t like being ignored and stuck inside with nothing to do all day. 

    While more people are adopting pets, there is also a greater number of people advocating for responsible pet ownership, and you can be one of them. You may not be able to give your pet the world, but you can get pretty darn close.

  • A woman’s sanctuary is a man’s cave

    by Valen Lambert

    Guys, give a shit about your rooms. I’m looking at you Mr. Floor-mattress who sleeps next to the dirty laundry you throw on your bed. I’m not kidding around. Get a plant, thrift some art, perhaps invest in some fine linen. Us ladies (or whoever) are tired of “going back to your place” and it smells like wet dog and Mountain Dew.

    You’ve ever been in a girl’s room? It’s like entering a church where she worships herself. Candles, incense, the world’s biggest comfiest bed, ambient lighting, art on the walls, succulents, a healthy and thriving monstera. If it’s messy, it’s messy in a cool, hot, sexy way. When a man’s room is messy it’s just gross. A girl will spill a glass of wine on her bed but a guy will straight up vomit on his carpet. 

    Our bedrooms should never be taken for granted. It’s a safe space where we can truly be ourselves and feel at home. It gives us a space to really express ourselves through the way that we decorate it. It takes us out of the homogeneity of society and into the fantasy of ourselves. 

    In it we can display the artifacts of our lives. The mementos from our travels, photographs, notes from our loved ones, anything of emotional significance can go on our walls and remind us of how alive we are. Give it a shot fellas! Embrace your tenderness and sentimentality! Get soft and self-reflective! And then maybe your mess will be as cool, hot and sexy as a lady’s. 

    I will say I’ve been in some vibey ass rooms belonging to men. Not every guy is sleeping on the ground in a fluorescently-lit sensory deprivation chamber. I’ve also been in some whack girls’ rooms. Things aren’t black and white. So honestly no matter who or what you are, give a shit about your room. It’s the only place you get to call your own. Do something about it! Because you won’t be able to decorate your coffin. 

  • Think of the critters

    Think of the critters

    by Jake Hyslop

    Ah, the rainy season is upon us. Despite the odd sunny, muggy day that Humboldt likes to shuffle into the fall and winter seasons like a wild card, it is getting cloudier and more drizzly, slowly but surely. 

    I quite like rainy weather, so I couldn’t be happier in that regard. With an umbrella or other rain gear, the inconvenience can be diminished into an enjoyable aesthetic. Sometimes I be out here just raw dogging the downpour with a T-shirt and shorts. Yes, swampy shoes are the worst, but watching where you step is an easy way to avoid that nightmare. 

    Speaking of watching where you step, that brings me to the point of this ramble. I am not the only creature who thrives in the rain (as are many of you, excluding the rainphobic). Allow me to paint a picture for you. 

    Thousands of students, staff, and faculty traverse campus on foot to some degree, day-in and day-out. They avoid puddles and stroll along the sidewalk to their class or job. Every once in a while, someone hears a crunch or a pop underfoot, but often it’s so small they think nothing of it. Little do they know, the blatant endangerment they are causing.

    Yes dear reader, from the arboreal salamander to the simple snail, and all the slugs, worms, and more in-between, there is an entire ecosystem of creatures that love the rain more than we do. In fact, rain is an outright necessity for these creatures. 

    Snails and slugs rely on moisture to survive, making them extremely active during the rain. All kinds of worms use rainy days to migrate, as above ground is normally too dry for them. Salamanders and frogs migrate and breed in the rain as well. 

    These creatures have no choice but to sometimes venture onto the cold, wet pavement in order to fulfill their quests. But often, too often, they never make it. 

    That’s right. Martha the earthworm travels the equivalent of many human miles in order to meet her lover, Jim, only for her soul to be snuffed by a single checkerboard Adidas slip-on. 

    The worst thing about these literal crimes against nature, is that they are crimes of negligence. It is incredibly easy to not step on and crush a helpless critter. All it takes is a little look down every few steps.

    Unless you have some sort of neck mobility issue, there is no excuse not to look where you’re stepping and avoid crushing a snail into paste. No, they cannot move to a new shell. That is a myth. Snails ride or die for their shell. 

    We cannot blame the critters for getting in the way. After all, there didn’t used to be concrete on their path. We must be better. Next time you’re out on your travels during a particularly damp day, think of the critters and watch where you step.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,
    I hooked up with my crush of 3 months, who’s my dream-man and I never thought it
    would happen. Afterwards, he told me that he had a recent breakup and he’s only in the space for friendship, but he would still love to see me and hangout… should I play the long game or give it up? (He’s a bass player, tall and sexy and very sweet).

    The long game: what could either be the most enchanting experience of your life, or the
    worst waste of time and energy you’ve ever put into anything. The thing about the long-game is, you’re putting someone on a pedestal that they didn’t ask to be put on. You’re expecting something to come about, rather than allowing it to naturally happen the way the hookup did. Having expectations of people, besides the bare minimum of respect and kindness, is a recipe for disappointment. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but having unfair expectations based on your idealized image of a person isn’t fair to anyone involved. Now, I am in no way shape or form saying you’re not allowed to have hope, or continue to flirt. If anything, the build up of sexual tension that comes with being friends with someone you’ve hooked up with, that you would be down to hookup with again, is exhilarating. That’s why it’s a trope in damn-near every rom-com – it’s sexy, it’s anticipation; everyone loves a slow burn. What I am saying is: don’t base your future around him; don’t avoid other partners for him, don’t keep toxic people around for him, and so on and so forth. You can be friends and touch each other’s body parts, but you can’t expect him to take responsibility for your emotions if you start getting a little too hopeful about your relationship.

    If you think you can separate your feelings and your expectations, then I say stick around and see what happens, but don’t hold your breath unless you’re willing to pass out. If you’re hot enough to bag your momentary dream-man, you’re hot enough to bag the next one,
    too.

    xoxo,
    jasmin

  • We are oysters

    by Emma Wilson

    The world is your oyster

    salty and stinky, yet tasty 

    Graphic by Christina Mehr.

    the harder you work, the easier it opens up to you

    the world is there for you to conquer

    but remember everyone else is bonkers 

    carried by the currents 

    as the wind flows, I sit here pondering that all is well

    and that one day soon, I will be like the oyster shell

    embedded in the sand 

    decaying in the ground 

    listening to the land

    for it tells me my worth 

    to feel and be one with the earth

  • Where to get drunk in Arcata

    Where to get drunk in Arcata

    by Valen Lambert

    Arcata is a great place to drink. During these long, dreary winters, what better way to pass the time than to head on over to one of our many local dives and question all your life decisions? Whether you’re newly 21, or simply do not get out much and are seeking some guidance on where to spend your big night out on the town, allow a seasoned bar hopper to show you the way.

    Everett’s

    I had to start at an all-around fan favorite; really just a gem of a dive. It’s a dark, dingey, hedonist’s paradise. Look closely around the taxidermied walls and you’ll always find a new nick-nack or picture (hint: look for the boobs next to the stuffed deer). If you’re lucky enough to order from Robert, you can count on a questionably dirty joke. Beers and cocktails are dummy cheap. Watch out, you’ll come here thinking you’ll stay for one drink and end up hanging out ‘till close, eventually getting kicked out to the curb with the Plazoids. Daytime is when this place really shines though; flies buzz around en masse while Arcata’s day-drunks play a dusty game of pool.

    Graphic by Valen Lambert.

    The Alibi

    Punk bar. Great place to use the bathroom when the lady’s line is too long at Everett’s – also makes a mean bloody mary.

    Dead Reckoning

    Love this bar and its bisexual lighting. Kind of your classic cool hip craft beer joint; they solely spin great vinyl (lots of afro-future and jazz) and have a great tap selection. It’s a huge selection though, and looking at the menu is like scrolling through Netflix trying to pick a movie. Good place for a date, or if you want to get a drink with friends and actually be able to hear each other. The best part is that it’s got a whole mini arcade. Come on Tuesday nights to watch (or join) a bunch of pinball wizards duel it out for the pinball league. 

    The Local Cider Bar

    Best place to get drunk on cider at 5:00 p.m., and a great option for all our gluten-free baddies. Casual, cute, cozy – The Cider Bar is great for autumn vibes. A Slice of Humboldt Pie also shares the building, so after tossing back a couple Blurberrys, you can get a slice of pie or an empanada.

    Richard’s Goat

    Definitely the most vibed out of these joints – stained glass windows and bisexual lighting abound. If you have a hankering to dance, this is the spot. Always live shows and DJs. Yummy cocktails and non-alc options. Plus, probably the best damn karaoke nights (Thursdays and Sundays) this side of the marsh. It’s a total hoot. If you come to sing, you’ll definitely stay for the lady that does opera staccatos in a tutu (you’ll know what I mean). 

    The Pub

    Good place to get drunk and eat dinner. Gentrified, but free pool. 

    The Basement

    Ah, finally, a place of sophistication and class. Or, as some women have put it, a place where they don’t feel preyed on. This newly reopened lounge is a great place to roleplay as someone with good taste. Live music and comedy abound. Expensive drinks so make sure you go with a date who’s gonna pay for them. My only suggestion is, more bisexual lighting.

    The Jam

    Almost forgot to mention this place because I usually avoid it for no good reason except I’m pretentious. A watering hole for local wooks and the occasional biker or metalhead. It’s a great place if you love EDM and getting freaky on the dance floor. Whomp Wednesdays is a classic – it’s exactly what it sounds like. 

    Blondies

    Hands down best spot for local music. Plus, you don’t need to be 21 to get in. Quirky venue with a real DIY bodega sort of vibe, and they sell food. Sunday nights they host the jazz jam, and open mics are every Thursday. Always something going on, so make sure to check their Instagram for events.

  • Professors on teaching Gen Z

    Professors on teaching Gen Z

    by Valen Lambert

    The past few years have been undoubtedly some of the strangest to be coming of age. A global pandemic, inflation, social unrest, war, climate change, political turmoil and the insidiousness of social media has Gen Z – AKA “Zoomers” – shook. Attending college through these trying times is no small feat, and professors who have taught multiple different generations are attentive to what makes Zoomers different.  

    Recognized as the first generation to not know a world without the internet, they have been labeled with many different stereotypes: short attention spans, anxious, weary of face-to-face interaction, lazy, coddled. Ouch, right? Professors are quick to recognize that things aren’t that black and white, and that Zoomers have a unique edge because of their balanced set of experiences.

    “I feel like Gen Z just came of age in much more difficult times,” said Dr. Heal McKnight, an English professor at Cal Poly Humboldt who has been teaching for over 20 years. “And as such, they have a real sense of their own durability, and they do not have an inflated sense of what they’re entitled to. It seems like they have a much more realistic way of forming relationships with each other and with adults… I feel like Gen Z has a ballast to them.”

    But others are worried these experiences may have caused delays in social development. Cal Poly Humboldt art history professor Dr. Julie Alderson has been teaching for 20 years, and noticed a remarkable amount of timidity in passing students when she used to throw dance parties on the quad. 

    “I just watched the students have so much anxiety about it,” said Alderson. “I could see them in the distance putting in their earbuds, or pretend they’re talking on their phone, or not catch our eye. They’re still kind of in that high school, ‘I don’t want to be weird,’ mindset. And it’s because they were sort of sheltered in this way… their development towards being adults who don’t care what other people think about them is not as far along as students in the past.”

    Professors have evolved with the changing generations to make the classroom more student-friendly. Recently, Alderson noticed that students have become savvy of a multitude of up-and-coming artists thanks to social media, and opens up space in her projects for students to explore them. 

    “The thing that I do feel is especially important to know in order to connect with [Gen Z] is that they want to be doing stuff that feels relevant to them,” said Alderson. “And I love doing that because they are way more excited and what they do is a lot more interesting.”

    McKnight has noticed the impact that the Digital Age has on students’ focus in the classroom and found out a way to cater to these new tech generations, but in the process, realized it’s a better system for students of all ages.

    “I think as soon as I realized I was teaching millennials, I understood that I needed to switch things up and run a classroom that goes in 20 minute cycles,” said McKnight. “I don’t think that Gen Z is any different from the generation above them in terms of that. I don’t think any person really can pay quality attention outside of a 20 or 30 minute bite.”

    At the end of the day, professors agree that it’s a sweeping generalization to try and define Gen Z.

    “It’s always so funny to label people as a whole generation,” said Alderson. “It’s so much more complex than that – it’s cultural. Like, it’s gonna be different here than it is in the city.”

  • Editorial board condemns the decision to evict students living in vehicles

    From the editorial board of The Lumberjack:

    Cal Poly Humboldt’s administration has proven that the university is insensitive to its most vulnerable students and their precarious situations. The eviction of students living on campus parking lots in their vehicles is inhumane.

    The university has posed several solutions to these students, like temporary housing or staying in RV parks, but these options are unrealistic and unaffordable for most students living in their vehicles. These students have sacrificed many comforts in order to attend this university and have found a creative solution that allows them to earn their degree despite economic hardship. Many of these students will be forced to drop out if they are no longer allowed to live on campus.

    Housing in Humboldt has always been a problem. Digging through old Lumberjack archives from the ‘70s reveals articles about housing insecurity and crises 50 years ago. There’s a reason these students don’t live under a roof. Very few, if any, of them are choosing this option voluntarily. Living here is expensive and tuition is expensive. The allowance of overnight camping has allowed impoverished individuals to earn their degree with a lower cost of living.

    Pushing the students out would be at their detriment and only serve to clean up the image of Cal Poly Humboldt administration. Admin also neglects to realize the opportunity for mutually beneficial change in infrastructure as the campus grows. This is simply forcing students from campus out into the streets, where they will be shuffled around by law enforcement. It’s ignorant to assume that van lifers can just find an apartment after being evicted, especially with the limited options in Arcata. Campgrounds are also not always an affordable option for students. In addition, they are often far away and far from safe.

    This is dehumanizing and unjustifiable. This will directly affect the lives of these students for the worse. They have made great sacrifices in order to attend Cal Poly Humboldt and deserve the right to remain on campus without being harassed.

    If the university really is for a “high quality and affordable education” and a “just and sustainable world” like their Strategic Plan claims, then they have to consider how this will affect those students they’re evicting. How will they manage to study or turn in assignments if they don’t know where they’re sleeping that night? Or without WiFi? How will they stay healthy mentally without the security of a safe and reliable place to park their vehicle each night?

    It’s definitely not ideal that there are students living in parking lots. The administration cited “unsafe and unsanitary” living conditions as being a driving force for the sudden enforcement of parking regulations, but the evidence provided is far from conclusive. They also mentioned complaints, but as of now, they are staying silent about what those complaints are, or who exactly they came from. It is obvious that the issue is rooted in a lack of affordable housing and the competitiveness of applying for on campus housing, not in the students themselves. 

    It looks terrible, especially a month away from finals. The students living in their vehicles are not requesting any significant accommodations or services from the university—they are able to live sustainably and independently and want to be left alone.

    Houseless students have been living in their cars for decades. People view it as a viable option. In fact, several students who are getting evicted were previously told by members of the parking patrol that they would not be ticketed, towed or bothered if they slept in their vehicles. 

    This is a problem with no simple solutions, but even the absolute bare minimum is still better than the amount of assistance the university is offering. If outdoor cooking is an issue for university officials, then it should have been communicated clearly to those doing it. If the officials think the houseless students are unsanitary, give them 24/7 access to showers and bathrooms on campus. There’s a completely empty football locker room with showers that could be put to use. 

    These vulnerable students deserve help from the administration in their effort to earn their degrees. They should not be cast out, degraded, and othered.

    The actions of the administration will only leave the university buried in even more terrible press. This is an opportunity to do something wonderful for the students who have to live in vehicles, something this community can be proud of. We, the editorial board of the Lumberjack, urge the university to come up with a real solution to this problem rather than degrading and displacing its most vulnerable students and hoping people will forget about it. 

    If the administration truly is committed to the “just and sustainable world” they claim to be, then it’s time to prove it.

  • I’m okay being small

    I’m okay being small

    by Nina Hufman

    In our world of competitive capitalism, natural disasters and general man-made atrocities, it is normal to set huge, unattainable goals for ourselves. From the time we are children we are told that, in order to matter, we have to do something important with our lives. We have to save people, make a ton of money, win awards, change the world and be the best at whatever we do. Well I’ve won the awards, I’ve been the best, I’ve believed I can change the world – I was incredibly unhappy.

    When I was in high school I got perfect grades, I played varsity sports and I was not only involved in extracurricular activities, I was in charge of them. Everyone around me praised me for how smart I was, how much potential I had, how far I would go in life. I was so caught up in being perfect and so incredibly scared to fail. I believed all of my value came from academic performance and extracurricular involvement. I believed that if I wasn’t incredible, amazing and perfect, then I wasn’t anything.

    Fuck that. Fuck being perfect. Fuck being amazing. I have no desire to win a Nobel Peace Prize, to run the New York Times, to be rich (well maybe just a little), or famous or to save the world. I’m just a girl who loves writing feature articles about the quirky town she lives in. I don’t want to report from an active war zone in a foreign country, I’ll write my pieces from my nice cozy bed. I don’t want to expose political scandals, I want to write about the North Country Fair, the Medieval Festival of Courage, local art galleries and students on campus who choose to go braless. 

    For so long, I believed that to be important was to be valuable, and to be incredible was to matter. It has taken me a long time to realize that I still matter, I am still significant, even if I don’t achieve something amazing. I matter when I write an article about a great new business that gets them a lot of customers. I matter when I write about sexual health resources for students. I matter when I give a voice to people in my community. These examples pertaining to my career are actually the least significant ways in which I matter. 

    I matter to my dad when I call him to tell him about my latest bench press PR and show him a new band that I like. I matter to my mom when I hold her hand while we walk around the grocery store. I matter to my boyfriend when I get up and make him breakfast before he goes to work or send him a song that I think he will like. I matter to my cat when I give her treats and scratch her on the chin; I might not be able to save the world, but I saved her from living in the street and I think that’s just as valuable. I can’t solve homelessness, but I can buy a hot cup of coffee for an unhoused person on a cold day. I can’t solve the climate crisis, but I can carry reusable utensils and recycle as much as I can. 

    The small things are significant, and they bring me more joy than big achievements ever did. My connection to my family, friends and community is what makes me significant, not my big achievements. I’m not going to live my life to change the world. I’m going to live to help who I can and enjoy it. I like my small, unimportant life and I would like it to stay small and unimportant. 

    When I was in 7th grade, I played Rebecca Gibbs in my school’s production of “Our Town.” I had this line that people told me was really powerful. I don’t really think I understood it until recently. 

    Rebecca: I never told you about that letter Jane Crofut got from her minister when she was sick. He wrote Jane a letter and on the envelope the address was like this: It said: ‘Jane Crofut; The Crofut Farm; Grover’s Corners; Sutton County; New Hampshire; United States of America.’

    George: What’s funny about that?

    Rebecca: But listen, it’s not finished: the United States of America; Continent of North America; Western Hemisphere; the Earth; the Solar System; the Universe; the Mind of God–that’s what it said on the envelope. 

    George: What do you know! 

    Rebecca: And the postman brought it just the same.

  • Cemetery Boys: emo meets hyperpop

    by Savana Robinson

    The Miniplex, located in the back of Richards’ Goat, was dark with only a purple light emitting from the stage. People slowly shuffled in, some donning costumes in the Halloween spirit. The crowd was bustling with excitement, many concert goers with a drink in their hand. The show began around 9:45 p.m. and lasted about an hour and a half. Collectively, the boys put on a show that had a modern emo, hyperpop feel. The crowd danced and a small moshpit opened up in the center. With smiles on their faces, it was obvious that the crowd was happy to be there.

    Louie Lingard, Osha Fiuty and Benny Pavloff make up the local trio Cemetery Boys. Respectively, the boys go by NotLewy, MESpirit and beninpayne. The collective played a show on Saturday, Oct. 14. The show had a turnout of about 20 people, which was perfect for the tiny showroom in the back of the tavern.

    Playing more as a collective than a band, the boys took turns taking the stage, each playing a set of about ten songs. Pavloff went first, then Fiuty and Lingard last. Although they each had their own sound, they complemented each other at the same time.

    Pavloff dedicated a song to his girlfriend, Shannon. It was a heartfelt song where he stated he doesn’t know how she got him and falling in love isn’t like him.

    “Girl, you got me floatin’/ I be swimmin’ through your oceans,” sang Pavloff.

    Pavloff’s sound could be described as emo y2k electronic. His soft yet bold vocals mixed with the autotune and hyperpop backtrack blended well.

    Pavloff described his sound as influenced by Midwest emo with math rock samples and a mix of different types of vocals.

    “I have a lot of different things that I do. Sometimes it’s really harsh autotune, and very glitchcore-hyperpop stuff,” Pavloff said. “I’ve recently been branching out and trying to get my real voice more out there and just singing.”

    Fiuty’s sound was also drenched in hyperpop with an emo overtone. Bassy lines and quick lyrics made his music sound polished.

    “Real cemetery shit, yeah I’m in for life,” sang Fiuty, referring to his dedication to the group as a whole.

    Fiuty said that the group’s music has changed throughout the years.

    “It started with the emo rap wave that was happening in 2016, 2017,” Fiuty said. “We’ve all kind of developed and gone off into different directions with it.”

    Lingard played several songs off his mixtape “2k13” released Oct. 13. The mixtape has heavy overtones of trap.

    “Now we in a different league,” sang Lingard.

    Lingard has a sound influenced by a blend of genres including rap and witchhouse.

    “I’m really influenced by 2010s trap music. Chief Keef, Gucci Mane, Young Thug, Rich Homie Quan, stuff like that,” Lingard said.

    The group has been together since 2019, but took a break during the pandemic. They have played a total of nine shows together. Lingard and Pavloff are both College of the Redwoods students who plan to transfer to Cal Poly Humboldt.

    “We all fucking killed that,” Pavloff said.