Ask Evergreen is a weekly advice column by the students of the Lumberjack.
Each week we’ll answer anonymous questions sent in by readers about anything and everything.
How do we navigate meaningful friendships in a college setting where friendships are based on talking about bullshit?
Dear Friendship Keeper,
Friendships come in all different forms, some healthy and others not. Genuine friendships usually aren’t based from a bond of bullshit talking, but to each their own. You can do a couple different things to avoid befriending bombastic people who blather.
First, find people that you might have common interests with. This is the easiest place to start when searching for a meaningful connection, as you control who and what you let into your life. Join a club or frequent places that you enjoy to find others interested in similar activities. Strike up a friendly conversation with someone at your favorite bookstore or while you’re hiking in the community forest on a special trail.
Second, when you notice people itching to gossip or spew meaningless rhetoric, separate yourself from those situations. If you strive to surround yourself with positive-thinking people, chances are one of those people will vibe with you. Don’t settle if it isn’t significant and beneficial to you.
Third, get out of your comfort zone. Maybe you’ve allowed yourself to become complacent with the type of people who are around you. Change that. Voice your discomfort when it comes to people forcing their absurdities upon you. Challenge yourself to push for what you want rather than settling for what others push onto you. If you don’t want to have small talk about the weather, or a heated conversation about politics, say something to change that. Be the navigator of this ship we call life, and choose who you want on your crew.
Lastly, it’s okay if you’re a lone wolf for the time being. It’s no fun when people around you drain your energy, so don’t feel selfish for choosing not to have them in your life. Sometimes we just need to self-reflect and ask ourselves if what we have is enough. The best things come to those who wait, right? A meaningful friendship can’t be forced, so don’t rush into anything and trust your gut.
All the best!
If you have any questions you’d like to send in, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We won’t publish any names and you don’t need to use one.