Ask Evergreen is a weekly advice column by the students of the Lumberjack.
Each week we’ll answer anonymous questions sent in by readers about anything and everything.
How long do break-ups last?
Dear Break-up Battler,
Some say a break-up lasts half as long as the length of the relationship. Science says it lasts roughly three months. I say it lasts however long you need.
Don’t force yourself to get over a connection so quickly that you numb out feelings that can help you process. Don’t wallow in your despair and let it consume you, that will just make things all the more difficult to get over.
Take time for yourself to be alone. Solitude is bliss, and it can facilitate your ability to digest what has happened. Reflect on what went well and what went wrong. Use this ending as a lesson on what to do differently when you decide you’re ready to date again. Be sure to surround yourself with friends and loved ones–not to distract you, but to remind yourself of those who unconditionally care for you.
There are all different types of relationships and different kinds of break-ups as well. Relationships in which love is involved tend to have lingering feelings long after a parting. Short-term relationships might be easier to move on from. Disdainful break-ups happen, but don’t leave without answers for the peace of mind of all involved. Civil break-ups leave the least amount of wreckage and may lead to strong friendships with those who weren’t the best romantic partners.
Some break-ups are healthy and necessary for your personal growth, so take things slow and focus on you.
If you have any questions you’d like to send in, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We won’t publish any names and you don’t need to use one.
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