The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: Opinion

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    by Jasmins Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    The guy I recently ghosted became my neighbor, and I found out the guy I’m talking to now is his roommate. Neither of them know yet, but he invited me to come over tonight. Me and the other guy ended on really awful terms and I don’t even think he would let me in his house – like I made him cry. I kinda want to just go over and see what happens. Thoughts?

    Oh, you’re a messy bitch – I love you! Let me tell you, there are messier situations you could be in. Like, say they were brothers and you swapped them out for each other within a 24 hour cycle… been there done that, amirite? Point is, even though you’re stuck between a cock and a hard place, there are bigger cocks and harder places, so don’t fret. 

    In life, we often find ourselves in sitcoms all the time. Sometimes I say to just live for the plot! If you like this guy, why not try to see what happens with him? You’re going to have to be honest with him about your previous situation with his roommate, but we are literally all adults. dibs aren’t real and winner takes all. If you click, you click and if you don’t, you don’t. Worst case scenario, if he’s a ‘bro-code’ kind of guy, you’re honestly dodging a bullet anyway. 

    Though, it kind of seems like you owe the other guy an apology. I’m not sure how intense of a relationship you had with him, but you should definitely sit down and say sorry for ghosting him – it’s just a shitty thing to do all around if you hung out for more than a few weeks. As a ghoster and a ghostie, I’ve learned there are better ways of handling those situations than leaving unfinished business; shit always has a way of staying in your cheeks. Unless he was being weird or threatening – if that’s the case, just leave the whole house alone. 

    You’ll all be fine in the end. 5 years from now, I bet none of you will matter to each other. Have fun, be wild, have sex with whoever you want to, have an orgy, use a rubber, get tested, and always have enthusiastic consent!

    xoxo,

    jasmin

  • Be open and honest for better dating

    by Kianna Znika

    We live in a time where most of us are liberated and independent enough to know that dating isn’t a necessity; we’ve done the work to be okay on our own. We pour love into ourselves, additionally surrounding ourselves with the healing, platonic love from our friends and family. 

    When I first started celebrating my independence as a single person, I had a couple of realizations. First was that I genuinely loved who I was and the life I was creating for myself. I couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I’d justify unsatisfying connections, convincing myself that kindness should compensate for a lack of genuine interest. I’d cling to situations that left me miserable, telling myself excuses like, “Well, they’re kind of nice to me, so it’s okay,” or “Maybe I’m just being shallow.”

    I was chipping away at my self-worth and esteem by invalidating my true wants and needs, accepting less than satisfactory situations when I knew, deep down, that my heart wanted more.

    Being brutally honest with oneself is a mantra I now live by. It’s the compass that guided me to the other realization — I am, at my core, a romantic soul yearning for genuine connection and love.

    Now, I’m not saying that this is something I need in my life; rather, it was a beautiful change in mindset towards dating. I will flow through my life and open my heart to love, but I will only involve myself in connections that match my own wants and needs.

    “I don’t need to be with someone. So if I am going to be with someone, it’ll be because it’s my dream scenario,” is what I told myself.

    And, although this isn’t the one-step cure to dating – I definitely still found myself in dissatisfying situations along the way – I am so grateful that I stayed true to what I wanted because I can now confidently say that I found that dream scenario. I am happily in a relationship with someone who aligns with my aspirations and supports my joy and independence.

    Now, imagine if I hadn’t been honest along the way?

    While I’m proud of the normalization of polyamory, I’ve witnessed some people force themselves into it when all they really want, deep down, is to focus on one romantic partner. Let’s keep celebrating all personal loving and dating styles, embracing the beauty of individual preferences. If you want monogamy, own it. It’s okay. Be honest and you’ll attract someone who wants to be monogamous with you, too.

    I hear people say they’re not looking for something serious, while continuously doing and saying things that prove to me that what they really want is a relationship. I believe they do this in order to “be chill” and protect themselves. It seems like everyone in the dating scene right now isn’t looking for anything serious. But, what if some people are only saying that because everyone else is?

    I’m grateful that I was honest with myself about the type of dating experience I wanted. I was unapologetically upfront about wanting a genuine relationship, even on the first date. Crazy? No, just emotionally available and confident.

    So, don’t settle. If you want a certain type of dating experience, odds are someone else out there wants the same thing. They exist, just like you do. Remember: dating isn’t a necessity, so might as well make it exactly what you want and deserve. Your dream scenario is not only possible; it’s worth it. 

  • Self-diagnosed autism is a trend

    by Kae Dennert

    I would like to preface this with the words: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH DIAGNOSES; I believe autism is incredibly real, and a struggle a lot of people deal with, but I also believe that with the internet these days, it has become trendy to have the newest popular mental illness. 

    I have been diagnosed with many things in the past few years, so I am aware how tricky getting a diagnosis is, so I’m not going to shut down self diagnosis as a whole, as it isn’t that black and white. Walking down memory lane, back in 2016 it was incredibly “quirky” to post about how depressed you are, and it became something where everyone tried to outstage each other, which also brought along people who felt they felt similarly to the creators posting about it, which led to people self-diagnosing. 

    This again happened in 2019-2020, where it suddenly became a trend to have anxiety, and that was once again followed in 2021 where it was a trend to have ADHD. Now where am I headed with this? Earlier this year there was an uptick in trending conversations on what symptoms could mean you are possibly secretly autistic. This led to many “oh my god maybe I’m autistic I keep seeing these videos” comments. 

    Now, there are certainly people who saw these videos, felt like they saw themselves, and decided to take steps to use tools to help them, or help them get diagnosed, and I think that it’s amazing that awareness online can help people, but I also think it has become hard to decipher who is pretending for attention, and who actually needs the help. It has been trendy to make videos about what symptoms are “autistic” (which also overlap heavily with other disorders, like ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc.) with no further context of what could be going on besides autism.

    These narrowings into one answer don’t take into account each person’s individuality and their struggles and what that can mean for them. Because diagnoses overlap, the trending diagnosis is the one that is going to stick. This can shut people down and discourage them from finding more answers that could have helped them more in the long run.

    It locks people in a corner, and they can believe there is no other option for them besides aligning with that determination. Because of this many people don’t search for answers that could lead them to help, because other illnesses become stigmatized while being “neurotypical” gets you scrutinized for not understanding the viewpoint of neurodivergence. I think that everyone should be able to be themselves without having to shape themselves into different people for others, but doesn’t everyone want that? 

    At the end of the day, a new trend will inevitably pop up, and people will swear up and down in their life that they “never had autism” and instead have the new hip trending illness.

  • Flush that fecal matter

    Flush that fecal matter

    by Jillian Wells

    Well folks, buckle up because we’re diving deep into the uncharted territory of unflushed mysteries on campus. I never thought my college experience would involve investigative journalism in the bathroom, but here we are. 

    Picture this: you just got out of class, you’ve been a hydrated queen all day and drank all 21 ounces of water from your HydroFlask, now your bladder is about to implode on itself, so you rush to the bathroom expecting a nice, clean, flushed environment. When all of a sudden, you peer into the stall and see a huge, nasty piece of feces. Every other stall is currently occupied, panic is starting to set in because you’re running out of time, sweat trickles down your forehead from the pain in your bladder and realization about what you’re about to go through, with no other choice, you brave the stall with nothing but a pile of shit. It’s a shitty situation, no pun intended.  

    Now that we understand each other and the situation a bit more, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of unflushed shit in public restrooms on campus. I truly don’t understand the reasoning behind the decision to not flush your fecal matter, and genuinely have so many questions. 

     What do you hope to gain? Do you enjoy it when other people see your poop? Is it some form of protest? Is there an underground society of non-flushers plotting world domination one unflushed toilet at a time? Are you at all concerned about the poor souls who have to see your waste? I really am curious about the why of it all, if you’re someone who doesn’t flush your poop in public restrooms, let me know.

    I can’t speak to this being an issue in men’s bathrooms, because as a female with she/her pronouns, I tend to avoid mens bathrooms like the plague. But, I hope for those of you out there who use men’s bathrooms, that the situation isn’t as shitty as it has been in the womens and gender neutral bathrooms. 

    I’ve probably seen the unwelcomed sight of unflushed fecal matter in just about every major public restroom on campus, the main offenders include Gist Hall, the Library and Founders Hall. This problem has gotten out of hand. 

    Not to shame those of you who don’t flush your poop, but it’s 2023 and we have more important issues to deal with than looking at your unflushed creations. I think I speak for everyone when I say, flush your poo, no one wants to see it! It’s not like we have to pay the water bill, that’s the school’s job (or whoever pays it), so flush that fecal matter!

  • What even is being alive?

    by Emma Wilson

    A constant motion of lovely things

    A constant flow through an endless cycle 

    As a being 

    Being a being with other beings 

    I remember this flow I live through

    And the things that help me feel

    Walking in the forest moves my feet 

    Swimming in the river holds my aching spine

    Climbing up that incline allows me to hear my heartbeat

    Biking down the street makes my breath feel divine 

    Moving through the world reminds me of what is real

    Even through this rough tough world

    I feel as though I can be alive 

    Not alone anymore 

    Even when I remember being so 

    so, so alone

    I know people too understand 

    For I am here

    A being just being real

    Though I am constantly afraid

    I am strong with those standing by my side.

  • Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    by Alana Hackman

    If you were alive in 2016 – which I hope most of you were – you are probably familiar with the meme, “take her swimming on the first date,” in reference to the glam makeup that was trending at the time. Makeup-wearers were showing up to third period Pre-Algebra in Anastasia dip brow, matte semi-permanent liquid lipsticks, false eyelashes and the glitter cut creases.

    Mainly men — young boys I should say — weaponized this sweet and fun makeup against women at the time to birth the meme. It alluded to the idea that if women swam on the first date, their makeup wouldn’t stay on and you would see their bare faces for what they really are. Many used the meme to reference that you could finally see she was actually ugly? I don’t really know. Just another way to criticize nothing but some girly fun! It doesn’t really make much sense either cause the majority of women aren’t hiding behind their makeup. For most, it’s just another method of self expression. 

    Anyways, nearly seven years later from the birth of that insulting meme, I believe it is time for another. In reference to the mullet and mustache madness that has taken Humboldt County and artsy Californian men by storm, I propose we start taking men to barber shops on the first date. 

    Why, you may ask? It’s literally impossible to swipe on any dating app without getting harassed by some man and his sorry excuse for a mullet and ‘70s porn-stache. These days the mullet has been snatched away from the grips of Bowie’s killer androgynous looks and into the dirty (actually, suspiciously clean) hands of trust fund, wanna-be, Ventura County fake cowboys. 

    I miss the days when the mullet was exclusively for lesbians, the nonbinary folks and good old country bumpkins. I don’t wanna see a mullet on you unless you have a long family lineage in Arkansas, or pair it with some array of facial piercings. 

    The mullet and mustache combo being adopted by vintage Carhartt resellers and BMW drivers is not only unrealistic, but also can be qualified as the wig and makeup for most straight men. The combo is used to really sell the whole “working man” look that’s trending for straight guys. When in reality, the most hard labor they’ve done is hash it out with Depop’s buyer support after moving to Humboldt county from the most suburban Bay Area neighborhood ever. 

    Shave that furry lip adornment off and BOOM – top lip is nowhere to be found. All of a sudden, that so-called sexy rugged man you thought you were seeing is back to a Bitcoin-selling Twitch streamer that yells way too aggressively at his mom. 

    What’s a girl gotta do to find a real authentic mullet-wearing straight man these days? The whole liberal cowboy thing is hot, but can only go so far. I’m gonna start asking these mustached men to show me proof of them driving a tractor or a forklift certification if they really wanna get to know me – just so I know they aren’t fakers and actually deserve their mullet and mustache privileges. 

    So ladies, next time that Tinder man with the Pabst Blue Ribbon obsession (bordering on alcoholism), vintage Marlobro hat and mullet/mustache combo asks to take you out on a date to the vintage reseller market, may I recommend the barber shop?

  • The campus parking patrol sucks

    by Brad Butterfield

    I have this old 1978 Mercedes 300d named Cocoa. I spent somewhere around 100 hours over summer repairing her rust-holes and fixing a plethora of engine issues. Cocoa runs pretty well now, and most of the holes are patched – most, but not all. As a result, I’ve been covering her during Humboldt County’s rainy days. Throughout summer and the fall semester, Cocoa has been parked on campus, covered, without issue. She is properly permitted to park on campus.

    Then, on Monday, Nov. 13, along with two parking citations on my RV, Cocoa had a nasty $40 citation taped to her cover. The RV parking tickets list “no use of vehicle for living/overnight” and “beyond designated lines,” as reasons for citation. The comment section of the $53 “overnight” violation reads, “windows covered,” as proof I was occupying the RV overnight. My RV, Tibby, was parked within the designated lines, as shown by the Parking Patrol’s own photos. 

    That’s $173 in parking fines for properly parked and permitted vehicles in two days.

    Monday marked the first morning of the university’s sudden enforcement of the regulation against overnight sleeping in vehicles on campus. Three weeks of meetings with administrators on this issue resulted in more confusion than clarity. I had been told by Lt. Peter Cress of university police that multiple days of probable cause and/or reasonable suspicion proving one’s vehicle was being used for sleeping would have to be established before citation or other disciplinary actions like academic probation, suspension or arrest could be considered. Cress was either misguided, misinformed or purposefully misleading, as nearly every van, bus and RV was cited on the morning of Nov. 13. Even van-dwelling students who had accepted the university’s offer for temporary dorm housing received parking citations. Most of us vehicle dwellers, aware of the university’s attempt to evict us, were not in our vehicles when given citations. We stayed at friends’ houses, on gym floors and in dorms. No attempts were made to discern if the vehicles were actually occupied. The university went ahead with a blanket citation for all potential vehicle dwellers citing ‘windows covered’ as reason for the expensive citations.

    In black sharpie on an old pizza box, I wrote my permit number and placed it on Cocoa’s (covered) windshield so as to avoid further citation on the 14th. Despite this I, again, awoke to a $40 citation on Cocoa taped next to my blatant pizza-box-sign showcasing my permit number. 

    Whether or not I have been targeted for my weeks of advocacy for Cal Poly Humboldt’s homeless students is difficult to prove –  especially with an administration that governs like a closed-off dictatorship. Particularly suspicious are the citations on Cocoa, which had been parked and covered, in the G11 lot adjacent to the Parking Patrol kiosk during most of the fall semester without issue. Regardless, four parking tickets totalling $173 for properly parked and permitted vehicles is ludicrous. 

    After Cocoa’s second citation, I asked Krista Paddock (Transportation & Parking Services) questions to clarify the reasoning behind the citation. Paddock was immediately hostile, wholly unhelpful and displayed a total lack of professionalism and respect.

    I attempted to set up a meeting with Cris Koczera, Director of Risk Management & Safety Services, and Mark Johnson, Chief of Staff, mediated by university Ombuds, Suzanne Pasztor, to discuss parking enforcement and the creation of a safe parking program on campus. Kozcera agreed to the meeting, but Johnson did not.

    “I heard back from Mark Johnson this afternoon.  He is stating that neither he nor Chris Koczera will be meeting with you. He is indicating that the university’s policy on this, and its stance on the options presented is clear. For this reason, he thinks that no constructive discussion is to be had,” Pasztor sent in an email on Monday evening.

    Johnson introduced himself to The Lumberjack team as the “relationship builder,” and said he would commit to being available during a presentation on Sep. 28. So far, every meeting I have attempted to schedule with the grand relationship builder has been ignored, canceled or cut short. 

    Every conversation with parking patrol officers regarding these unjust citations has resulted in them repeating, “You’re welcome to contest the citation online.” Well, that’s not good enough for me. I’ve been wrongly cited four times in two days. I’ve paid to park on campus and should not be cited without just cause.

    Hey Parking Patrol, leave me alone – please!

    Your Friend,

    Brad Butterfield

  • Should we own pets?

    Should we own pets?

    by Griffin Mancuso

    Many of us consider our pets to be our children. And like children, they become a focal point in our lives. Some of us may have social media accounts dedicated to our furry, feathered, or scaly children and our experiences raising them. Some may have shirts or bags proudly declaring our status as pet parents. Some even spend hundreds of dollars a month on toys, gear, and other enrichment for their pet. We make the choice to let a living being into our lives and take care of them, giving us a sense of fulfillment and joy. We would give them the whole world if we could.

    But is the world you’re giving your pet making them happy?

    There are limits to what we can provide our pets. Unfortunately, we are raising our animals in a world made for humans. For dog and cat owners, we cannot let them run free outside without the risk of them getting hurt or ending up in the back of an animal control van. Reptile owners cannot give their pets a perfect replica of the desert or jungle they were meant to live in. Bird owners can’t give their feathered companions the sky to explore and rodent owners have to keep their pets confined to cages and pens for most of the day.

    Does that mean we should trash the collars and cages and set our animals free? Not necessarily.

    The most common household pets like dogs, cats, rabbits, or hamsters are domesticated species and, at the very least, tolerate human interaction. Independent bioethicist and writer Jessica Pierce suggests that dogs and cats in particular may have been active participants in their domestication process. 

    For example, a study headed by psychologist Juliane Kaminski with the University of Portsmouth, UK, found that dogs evolved to have “puppy dog eyes” as a means of communicating with humans. Cats also developed a unique way of communicating with humans—meowing. Cats rarely meow at each other, but rather use it to ask their humans for attention, food, or other needs.

    Having a pet isn’t inherently unethical, but the way in which we love our pets and care for them needs to come from a place of well-researched knowledge and compassion for them.

    Research and reflection is a critical step before adopting a pet. If you want to adopt a pet, do you have the financial means to take care of one? What type of pet will you get? How will you obtain this pet ethically? Are you ready to handle potential physical or mental health issues your pet may experience? Does the type of animal you want live better alone, as a pair, or in a group? How much space will they need? Are you able to take them to the vet regularly? What physical and mental stimulation will this pet need and do I have time to give it to them? If you go out of town, should you hire a pet sitter or board them in a facility?

    Once you have obtained your pet, you are making a commitment to take care of them for their entire life. Now the second-most difficult part of pet ownership begins. Some requirements for pet ownership are objective, like giving them adequate food, water, shelter, and not causing them unnecessary suffering. But like children, everyone raises them differently. 

    There are endless choices of enclosures, gear, food, enrichment, training, and medical decisions to make. You can ask an expert like a veterinarian or trainer for advice or do research on your own time.

    The first and most painful part of owning a pet is the guilt. There will always be someone telling you that you aren’t doing enough, and usually that someone is yourself. You may spend hours researching and hundreds of dollars buying the best food and toys, but the brief rush of dopamine is ever fleeting. 

    I find that spending some quality time with your animal baby helps combat the random surges of panic and guilt—take your dog out on a hike, play with your cat, give your rodent or reptile an extra piece of fruit and give them very gentle pets if they are up for it. If you have a fish, stare lovingly at them through the glass.

    Education is a powerful thing, and by taking the time to learn how to keep your pet fulfilled and happy, you are helping shift the tide in today’s pet industry. Your pet is a responsibility and a living being with feelings and wants, and you need to treat them as such. If you were a couple inches or a couple feet tall, you wouldn’t like being ignored and stuck inside with nothing to do all day. 

    While more people are adopting pets, there is also a greater number of people advocating for responsible pet ownership, and you can be one of them. You may not be able to give your pet the world, but you can get pretty darn close.

  • A woman’s sanctuary is a man’s cave

    by Valen Lambert

    Guys, give a shit about your rooms. I’m looking at you Mr. Floor-mattress who sleeps next to the dirty laundry you throw on your bed. I’m not kidding around. Get a plant, thrift some art, perhaps invest in some fine linen. Us ladies (or whoever) are tired of “going back to your place” and it smells like wet dog and Mountain Dew.

    You’ve ever been in a girl’s room? It’s like entering a church where she worships herself. Candles, incense, the world’s biggest comfiest bed, ambient lighting, art on the walls, succulents, a healthy and thriving monstera. If it’s messy, it’s messy in a cool, hot, sexy way. When a man’s room is messy it’s just gross. A girl will spill a glass of wine on her bed but a guy will straight up vomit on his carpet. 

    Our bedrooms should never be taken for granted. It’s a safe space where we can truly be ourselves and feel at home. It gives us a space to really express ourselves through the way that we decorate it. It takes us out of the homogeneity of society and into the fantasy of ourselves. 

    In it we can display the artifacts of our lives. The mementos from our travels, photographs, notes from our loved ones, anything of emotional significance can go on our walls and remind us of how alive we are. Give it a shot fellas! Embrace your tenderness and sentimentality! Get soft and self-reflective! And then maybe your mess will be as cool, hot and sexy as a lady’s. 

    I will say I’ve been in some vibey ass rooms belonging to men. Not every guy is sleeping on the ground in a fluorescently-lit sensory deprivation chamber. I’ve also been in some whack girls’ rooms. Things aren’t black and white. So honestly no matter who or what you are, give a shit about your room. It’s the only place you get to call your own. Do something about it! Because you won’t be able to decorate your coffin. 

  • Think of the critters

    Think of the critters

    by Jake Hyslop

    Ah, the rainy season is upon us. Despite the odd sunny, muggy day that Humboldt likes to shuffle into the fall and winter seasons like a wild card, it is getting cloudier and more drizzly, slowly but surely. 

    I quite like rainy weather, so I couldn’t be happier in that regard. With an umbrella or other rain gear, the inconvenience can be diminished into an enjoyable aesthetic. Sometimes I be out here just raw dogging the downpour with a T-shirt and shorts. Yes, swampy shoes are the worst, but watching where you step is an easy way to avoid that nightmare. 

    Speaking of watching where you step, that brings me to the point of this ramble. I am not the only creature who thrives in the rain (as are many of you, excluding the rainphobic). Allow me to paint a picture for you. 

    Thousands of students, staff, and faculty traverse campus on foot to some degree, day-in and day-out. They avoid puddles and stroll along the sidewalk to their class or job. Every once in a while, someone hears a crunch or a pop underfoot, but often it’s so small they think nothing of it. Little do they know, the blatant endangerment they are causing.

    Yes dear reader, from the arboreal salamander to the simple snail, and all the slugs, worms, and more in-between, there is an entire ecosystem of creatures that love the rain more than we do. In fact, rain is an outright necessity for these creatures. 

    Snails and slugs rely on moisture to survive, making them extremely active during the rain. All kinds of worms use rainy days to migrate, as above ground is normally too dry for them. Salamanders and frogs migrate and breed in the rain as well. 

    These creatures have no choice but to sometimes venture onto the cold, wet pavement in order to fulfill their quests. But often, too often, they never make it. 

    That’s right. Martha the earthworm travels the equivalent of many human miles in order to meet her lover, Jim, only for her soul to be snuffed by a single checkerboard Adidas slip-on. 

    The worst thing about these literal crimes against nature, is that they are crimes of negligence. It is incredibly easy to not step on and crush a helpless critter. All it takes is a little look down every few steps.

    Unless you have some sort of neck mobility issue, there is no excuse not to look where you’re stepping and avoid crushing a snail into paste. No, they cannot move to a new shell. That is a myth. Snails ride or die for their shell. 

    We cannot blame the critters for getting in the way. After all, there didn’t used to be concrete on their path. We must be better. Next time you’re out on your travels during a particularly damp day, think of the critters and watch where you step.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,
    I hooked up with my crush of 3 months, who’s my dream-man and I never thought it
    would happen. Afterwards, he told me that he had a recent breakup and he’s only in the space for friendship, but he would still love to see me and hangout… should I play the long game or give it up? (He’s a bass player, tall and sexy and very sweet).

    The long game: what could either be the most enchanting experience of your life, or the
    worst waste of time and energy you’ve ever put into anything. The thing about the long-game is, you’re putting someone on a pedestal that they didn’t ask to be put on. You’re expecting something to come about, rather than allowing it to naturally happen the way the hookup did. Having expectations of people, besides the bare minimum of respect and kindness, is a recipe for disappointment. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but having unfair expectations based on your idealized image of a person isn’t fair to anyone involved. Now, I am in no way shape or form saying you’re not allowed to have hope, or continue to flirt. If anything, the build up of sexual tension that comes with being friends with someone you’ve hooked up with, that you would be down to hookup with again, is exhilarating. That’s why it’s a trope in damn-near every rom-com – it’s sexy, it’s anticipation; everyone loves a slow burn. What I am saying is: don’t base your future around him; don’t avoid other partners for him, don’t keep toxic people around for him, and so on and so forth. You can be friends and touch each other’s body parts, but you can’t expect him to take responsibility for your emotions if you start getting a little too hopeful about your relationship.

    If you think you can separate your feelings and your expectations, then I say stick around and see what happens, but don’t hold your breath unless you’re willing to pass out. If you’re hot enough to bag your momentary dream-man, you’re hot enough to bag the next one,
    too.

    xoxo,
    jasmin

  • Where to get drunk in Arcata

    Where to get drunk in Arcata

    by Valen Lambert

    Arcata is a great place to drink. During these long, dreary winters, what better way to pass the time than to head on over to one of our many local dives and question all your life decisions? Whether you’re newly 21, or simply do not get out much and are seeking some guidance on where to spend your big night out on the town, allow a seasoned bar hopper to show you the way.

    Everett’s

    I had to start at an all-around fan favorite; really just a gem of a dive. It’s a dark, dingey, hedonist’s paradise. Look closely around the taxidermied walls and you’ll always find a new nick-nack or picture (hint: look for the boobs next to the stuffed deer). If you’re lucky enough to order from Robert, you can count on a questionably dirty joke. Beers and cocktails are dummy cheap. Watch out, you’ll come here thinking you’ll stay for one drink and end up hanging out ‘till close, eventually getting kicked out to the curb with the Plazoids. Daytime is when this place really shines though; flies buzz around en masse while Arcata’s day-drunks play a dusty game of pool.

    Graphic by Valen Lambert.

    The Alibi

    Punk bar. Great place to use the bathroom when the lady’s line is too long at Everett’s – also makes a mean bloody mary.

    Dead Reckoning

    Love this bar and its bisexual lighting. Kind of your classic cool hip craft beer joint; they solely spin great vinyl (lots of afro-future and jazz) and have a great tap selection. It’s a huge selection though, and looking at the menu is like scrolling through Netflix trying to pick a movie. Good place for a date, or if you want to get a drink with friends and actually be able to hear each other. The best part is that it’s got a whole mini arcade. Come on Tuesday nights to watch (or join) a bunch of pinball wizards duel it out for the pinball league. 

    The Local Cider Bar

    Best place to get drunk on cider at 5:00 p.m., and a great option for all our gluten-free baddies. Casual, cute, cozy – The Cider Bar is great for autumn vibes. A Slice of Humboldt Pie also shares the building, so after tossing back a couple Blurberrys, you can get a slice of pie or an empanada.

    Richard’s Goat

    Definitely the most vibed out of these joints – stained glass windows and bisexual lighting abound. If you have a hankering to dance, this is the spot. Always live shows and DJs. Yummy cocktails and non-alc options. Plus, probably the best damn karaoke nights (Thursdays and Sundays) this side of the marsh. It’s a total hoot. If you come to sing, you’ll definitely stay for the lady that does opera staccatos in a tutu (you’ll know what I mean). 

    The Pub

    Good place to get drunk and eat dinner. Gentrified, but free pool. 

    The Basement

    Ah, finally, a place of sophistication and class. Or, as some women have put it, a place where they don’t feel preyed on. This newly reopened lounge is a great place to roleplay as someone with good taste. Live music and comedy abound. Expensive drinks so make sure you go with a date who’s gonna pay for them. My only suggestion is, more bisexual lighting.

    The Jam

    Almost forgot to mention this place because I usually avoid it for no good reason except I’m pretentious. A watering hole for local wooks and the occasional biker or metalhead. It’s a great place if you love EDM and getting freaky on the dance floor. Whomp Wednesdays is a classic – it’s exactly what it sounds like. 

    Blondies

    Hands down best spot for local music. Plus, you don’t need to be 21 to get in. Quirky venue with a real DIY bodega sort of vibe, and they sell food. Sunday nights they host the jazz jam, and open mics are every Thursday. Always something going on, so make sure to check their Instagram for events.

  • Editorial board condemns the decision to evict students living in vehicles

    From the editorial board of The Lumberjack:

    Cal Poly Humboldt’s administration has proven that the university is insensitive to its most vulnerable students and their precarious situations. The eviction of students living on campus parking lots in their vehicles is inhumane.

    The university has posed several solutions to these students, like temporary housing or staying in RV parks, but these options are unrealistic and unaffordable for most students living in their vehicles. These students have sacrificed many comforts in order to attend this university and have found a creative solution that allows them to earn their degree despite economic hardship. Many of these students will be forced to drop out if they are no longer allowed to live on campus.

    Housing in Humboldt has always been a problem. Digging through old Lumberjack archives from the ‘70s reveals articles about housing insecurity and crises 50 years ago. There’s a reason these students don’t live under a roof. Very few, if any, of them are choosing this option voluntarily. Living here is expensive and tuition is expensive. The allowance of overnight camping has allowed impoverished individuals to earn their degree with a lower cost of living.

    Pushing the students out would be at their detriment and only serve to clean up the image of Cal Poly Humboldt administration. Admin also neglects to realize the opportunity for mutually beneficial change in infrastructure as the campus grows. This is simply forcing students from campus out into the streets, where they will be shuffled around by law enforcement. It’s ignorant to assume that van lifers can just find an apartment after being evicted, especially with the limited options in Arcata. Campgrounds are also not always an affordable option for students. In addition, they are often far away and far from safe.

    This is dehumanizing and unjustifiable. This will directly affect the lives of these students for the worse. They have made great sacrifices in order to attend Cal Poly Humboldt and deserve the right to remain on campus without being harassed.

    If the university really is for a “high quality and affordable education” and a “just and sustainable world” like their Strategic Plan claims, then they have to consider how this will affect those students they’re evicting. How will they manage to study or turn in assignments if they don’t know where they’re sleeping that night? Or without WiFi? How will they stay healthy mentally without the security of a safe and reliable place to park their vehicle each night?

    It’s definitely not ideal that there are students living in parking lots. The administration cited “unsafe and unsanitary” living conditions as being a driving force for the sudden enforcement of parking regulations, but the evidence provided is far from conclusive. They also mentioned complaints, but as of now, they are staying silent about what those complaints are, or who exactly they came from. It is obvious that the issue is rooted in a lack of affordable housing and the competitiveness of applying for on campus housing, not in the students themselves. 

    It looks terrible, especially a month away from finals. The students living in their vehicles are not requesting any significant accommodations or services from the university—they are able to live sustainably and independently and want to be left alone.

    Houseless students have been living in their cars for decades. People view it as a viable option. In fact, several students who are getting evicted were previously told by members of the parking patrol that they would not be ticketed, towed or bothered if they slept in their vehicles. 

    This is a problem with no simple solutions, but even the absolute bare minimum is still better than the amount of assistance the university is offering. If outdoor cooking is an issue for university officials, then it should have been communicated clearly to those doing it. If the officials think the houseless students are unsanitary, give them 24/7 access to showers and bathrooms on campus. There’s a completely empty football locker room with showers that could be put to use. 

    These vulnerable students deserve help from the administration in their effort to earn their degrees. They should not be cast out, degraded, and othered.

    The actions of the administration will only leave the university buried in even more terrible press. This is an opportunity to do something wonderful for the students who have to live in vehicles, something this community can be proud of. We, the editorial board of the Lumberjack, urge the university to come up with a real solution to this problem rather than degrading and displacing its most vulnerable students and hoping people will forget about it. 

    If the administration truly is committed to the “just and sustainable world” they claim to be, then it’s time to prove it.

  • I’m okay being small

    I’m okay being small

    by Nina Hufman

    In our world of competitive capitalism, natural disasters and general man-made atrocities, it is normal to set huge, unattainable goals for ourselves. From the time we are children we are told that, in order to matter, we have to do something important with our lives. We have to save people, make a ton of money, win awards, change the world and be the best at whatever we do. Well I’ve won the awards, I’ve been the best, I’ve believed I can change the world – I was incredibly unhappy.

    When I was in high school I got perfect grades, I played varsity sports and I was not only involved in extracurricular activities, I was in charge of them. Everyone around me praised me for how smart I was, how much potential I had, how far I would go in life. I was so caught up in being perfect and so incredibly scared to fail. I believed all of my value came from academic performance and extracurricular involvement. I believed that if I wasn’t incredible, amazing and perfect, then I wasn’t anything.

    Fuck that. Fuck being perfect. Fuck being amazing. I have no desire to win a Nobel Peace Prize, to run the New York Times, to be rich (well maybe just a little), or famous or to save the world. I’m just a girl who loves writing feature articles about the quirky town she lives in. I don’t want to report from an active war zone in a foreign country, I’ll write my pieces from my nice cozy bed. I don’t want to expose political scandals, I want to write about the North Country Fair, the Medieval Festival of Courage, local art galleries and students on campus who choose to go braless. 

    For so long, I believed that to be important was to be valuable, and to be incredible was to matter. It has taken me a long time to realize that I still matter, I am still significant, even if I don’t achieve something amazing. I matter when I write an article about a great new business that gets them a lot of customers. I matter when I write about sexual health resources for students. I matter when I give a voice to people in my community. These examples pertaining to my career are actually the least significant ways in which I matter. 

    I matter to my dad when I call him to tell him about my latest bench press PR and show him a new band that I like. I matter to my mom when I hold her hand while we walk around the grocery store. I matter to my boyfriend when I get up and make him breakfast before he goes to work or send him a song that I think he will like. I matter to my cat when I give her treats and scratch her on the chin; I might not be able to save the world, but I saved her from living in the street and I think that’s just as valuable. I can’t solve homelessness, but I can buy a hot cup of coffee for an unhoused person on a cold day. I can’t solve the climate crisis, but I can carry reusable utensils and recycle as much as I can. 

    The small things are significant, and they bring me more joy than big achievements ever did. My connection to my family, friends and community is what makes me significant, not my big achievements. I’m not going to live my life to change the world. I’m going to live to help who I can and enjoy it. I like my small, unimportant life and I would like it to stay small and unimportant. 

    When I was in 7th grade, I played Rebecca Gibbs in my school’s production of “Our Town.” I had this line that people told me was really powerful. I don’t really think I understood it until recently. 

    Rebecca: I never told you about that letter Jane Crofut got from her minister when she was sick. He wrote Jane a letter and on the envelope the address was like this: It said: ‘Jane Crofut; The Crofut Farm; Grover’s Corners; Sutton County; New Hampshire; United States of America.’

    George: What’s funny about that?

    Rebecca: But listen, it’s not finished: the United States of America; Continent of North America; Western Hemisphere; the Earth; the Solar System; the Universe; the Mind of God–that’s what it said on the envelope. 

    George: What do you know! 

    Rebecca: And the postman brought it just the same.

  • Astral projecting with boygenius

    by Kianna Znika

    I’ve found a new appreciation for the act of dissociating, giving the once unhealthy coping mechanism of mine a whole new beautiful meaning. When getting lost in your own head with intention, you may feel as if you’re disconnecting from the world around you, but really, you find that you’re actually connecting deeper within yourself. Maybe, dare I say, you find a deeper connection with the life you think you’re hiding away from.

    Clearly, I tend to romanticize these deep, existential thoughts and feelings, which is why I love music that matches my energy.

     “Music to help you feel like you’re floating through space,” as I like to say. “Instant astral projection.” 

    It’s why I’ve been listening to a lot of shoegaze, indie dream-pop and folk artists such as Alvvays, Teen Suicide, The Sundays and, of course, Boygenius – one of my faves, as of late.

    Within the first few seconds of Boygenius’ newest EP, “the rest,” I was instantly brought into my own head and launched into deep space. What else could I have expected from a song titled “Black Hole?” That’s when I knew: this new Boygenius is going to hit.

    The 12 minute EP only consists of four songs, but carries all the best parts of Boygenius, from Phoebe Bridgers’ dreaminess to Julien Baker’s rawness and Lucy Dacus’ lyricism. Each member is already such a successful star on their own; together, they burn so much brighter. 

    It’s a beautiful thing to enjoy the art of queer women supporting one another, and getting to experience the product of their complementary talents. “the rest” was officially released on Oct. 13, just six months after the trio released their full-length album, “the record,” which features the group’s most popular tracks such as “Cool About It,” as well as mine and everyone’s favorite, “Not Strong Enough.” Don’t ask me how many times I’ve had the lyrics “Always an angel / Never a God” ringing in my head these past few months.

    One thing that really stuck out to me is Boygenius’ mutual respect and admiration for outer space, and how the group uses these themes in their music. It’s worth noting that the song “Not Strong Enough” starts off with the lyrics “Black hole opened in the kitchen” while their new EP literally starts with a song called “Black Hole.” These themes are continued in “Voyager” and “Powers” with lyrics like “Walkin’ alone in the city / Makes me feel like a man on the moon,” and “A hostile alien ambassador? / Or am I simply another of the universe’s failed experiments?”

    I feel those last lyrics, heavily.

    There is another theme within this short EP that I strongly relate to: someone you love urging you to take a fatal risk, and while you might not have been too excited about living life, you realize you don’t want to go just yet.

    “I don’t wanna live forever / But I don’t wanna die tonight.” Lucy Dacus, I see you. 

    And I know Boygenius somehow sees me too, because I don’t know how they knew I’ve literally been writing about the connection between getting lost in one’s head and floating through outer space, but I’m glad they did.

    This one is for all the other sad girls finding comfort and healing in the space inside their own minds. 

  • Put your dog in sports

    Put your dog in sports

    by Griffin Mancuso

    When parents have an especially energetic child, they often put them in some kind of extracurricular to provide them with an outlet and give themselves an afternoon of peace. That child may take to a certain activity, like karate, swimming, baseball or chess. Dogs are pretty much the same.

    My beloved, hyper Oscar Meyer and I joined Humboldt Disc Dogs back in September after I discovered them on Facebook. My main concern was the stories I heard of dog sport groups being very exclusive and impatient with newcomers, but that was thankfully not the case. We were fully embraced and offered tips for frisbee throwing and game strategy, and Oscar had a blast.

    Little did I know, disc sports was just a gateway drug. We now participate in disc sports, Fast CAT, rally and are hoping to start barn-hunting in the spring.

    Many dog breeds were originally created for a certain job. Border collies herd cows and sheep, bloodhounds use their sharp sense of smell to hunt and cane corsos protect their family and home. Most dog owners don’t have a need for a working dog, but their dog still needs an outlet for their energy and drive. Unfulfilled dogs often become restless, develop neurotic habits or resort to destructive chewing.

    Even if your dog isn’t a purebred working breed, they can still find joy in dog sports. I have witnessed a 14-year-old chihuahua crush everyone in disc sports and a poodle-mix run in Fast CAT.

    There are several dog sports to choose from, with most of them being created by the American Kennel Club. The “CAT” in Fast CAT stands for coursing ability test. A 100 yard course is set up with a motorized lure that runs down the middle to encourage the dogs to run. Despite the lure only being a plastic bag, dogs love it. Dogs, especially hunting breeds, are triggered by movement and will gladly take off after it. This sport is great for beginners since it involves minimal work from the owner.

    Dock diving entails your dog running off of a 40-foot-long dock, catching a toy in the air and making a grand leap into a pool. Depending on the game, the goal can be for them to jump as far as possible or swim as fast as possible to the end and back. 

    Obedience and rally are two sides of the same coin and provide mental exercise for your dog. Obedience involves multiple different trials of demonstrating your dog’s ability to follow basic commands like sit, stay, on and off-leash walking, and so on. 

    Rally has you take your dog through a course of signs with different maneuvers and commands that your dog must be able to follow. The course is different every time, and the 322 available signs allow for infinite combinations. Rally is also a mental exercise for the owner, as it involves memorization and fast thinking in the ring.

    Agility is one of the more well-known dog sports. You take your dog through a course of hurdles, hoops, tunnels and other obstacles as fast as possible. Herding breeds like border collies and Australian shepherds excel at this sport due to their speed and biddability, but any breed can enjoy agility.

    Disc sports are newer and not involved with the AKC, instead created by an organization called UpDog. These games can involve some agility, catching the frisbee in different zones or a combination of the two. If you want to get into disc sports, practice your frisbee throwing. You’re gonna need it.

    Most of these clubs can only be found through obscure Facebook groups, the occasional poster at a vet clinic, or word of mouth. Thankfully, I am benevolent and will share my wealth of knowledge with you.

    Up in Humboldt, there are a few groups who do dog sports. Humboldt Dash and Splash hosts dock diving and the Lost Coast Kennel Club hosts agility, rally, Fast CAT (racing), and barn hunt. Humboldt Disc Dogs is in charge of disc sports.

    One of the reasons younger people don’t participate in dog sports is the cost, but these sports don’t have to be expensive if you don’t want them to be. A Lost Coast Kennel Club membership is $15 and they only request a 5$ donation for Fast CAT practices. A Humboldt Disc Dogs membership is $10, and each practice and trial run costs $10. You can either buy your own supplies or borrow them at practices and trials.

    The most fulfilling part of dog sports is getting to watch your dog have the time of their life. It’s a great opportunity to increase your bond with them and get them de-wiggled. There’s a unique joy in watching your dog get increasingly excited as they realize where you’re driving them and seeing their tail violently wag after a great run. For the rest of the day, they sleep like a rock.

    If you have the means, I strongly recommend dropping in on a practice and seeing how your dog likes it. It may become your next addiction.

  • Women on two wheels

    Women on two wheels

    by Savana Robinson

    As far as I’m aware, there are only two women on motorcycles that regularly park on the Cal Poly Humboldt campus. I am one, and the other is Marilyn Koch, a jewelry and small metals instructor at Cal Poly Humboldt. She rides a 2014 Kawasaki Ninja 250 named Trixie and has been riding for 13 years. 

    I think it’s a shame that only two women on this campus ride, mopeds aside. We’re talking highway-legal bikes. A lifelong goal of mine is to inspire other women to ride and claim their freedom. Koch is also in favor of other women riding.

    “I’m so pro-women riders because I don’t understand why it’s such a male-dominated activity,” Koch said. “This is an activity that should be void of gender. Everyone should be on a bike.”

    Koch has always had an affinity for two-wheeled machines.

    “I’ve always thought motorcycles were just really badass,” Koch said.

    Prior to riding, her taste in men was the more rebellious type, especially those with motorcycles.

    “I realized instead of looking for a guy on a bike, why couldn’t I just be that badass person myself?” Koch said.

    Koch decided to take a motorcycle safety course and get her license.  California Highway Patrol and other riding schools offer the California motorcyclists safety program all over the state. Koch spoke well of the program because it not only provides everything needed to learn, including a motorcycle, but it also gives riders the knowledge and confidence they need to ride safely.

    “I highly encourage anyone that’s even interested in riding a motorcycle to take one of those courses,” Koch said.

    Koch spoke of how the course is a great option for women especially.

    “Generally, if you’re a guy, you maybe know somebody that has a bike or you’re a little bit more interconnected with the riding circle,” Koch said. “A lot of the female riders I’ve noticed are just so disengaged from that community.”

    Koch noted that the exception to this stereotype is women who find groups such as The Litas Humboldt, who are only one part of a worldwide collective of women riders. They allow women of any riding level to join. Being part of a riding group is a great way to learn and become more comfortable riding and having fellow women to ride with can boost confidence.

    I joined The Litas Humboldt in Dec. 2022, fulfilling my dream of several years. Part of the reason I came to Cal Poly Humboldt was because of The Litas. Being part of an all-ladies collective makes my heart soar; it’s like having a bunch of sisters to ride with. Erin Taylor, cofounder of The Litas Humboldt, once referred to that experience as ‘wind sisterhood’. There’s no other feeling like it.

    Sometimes, men come up to me on my bike and say that I’m a badass. It feels good to hear it, but I can’t help but wonder if they would say that to another man. Koch shared a similar sentiment.

    “When I get on my bike and I see people sort of staring at the bike… wondering who the owner is, and then realizing that the owner is a lady, they’re always somehow mystified as though it is even cooler that it’s a lady and not a guy,” Koch said. “It tickles me, but it also disappoints me. Why is it so astonishing for a lady to have a motorcycle?”

    My dream is to have a bunch of girls on motorcycles riding to school. It would be so cool to see other motorcycles with scrunchies and pink bandanas on their mirror stems in any of the many Cal Poly Humboldt motorbike parking areas. I could talk all day about yass-ifying Harleys and other makes, but I digress, we need more women on two wheels. 

    I would greatly encourage anyone that’s thinking about getting a motorcycle to take the motorcycle safety course, and for any woman that rides to join The Litas Humboldt at thelitas.co/humboldt and on their Facebook page.

  • The attendance trap: time to set grades free

    The attendance trap: time to set grades free

    by Jake Hyslop

    Over a month into the semester, most of you are probably familiar with your professors and their grading policies by this point. Some require you to show up to every class to get a decent grade, while there are others who simply don’t care if you show up to class (spoiler alert: these are the cool professors).

    I stand very firmly in the belief that attendance should not factor into a student’s grades. They should be graded on their performance instead. 

    Maybe this is crazy, but if I miss two or three classes, yet demonstrate knowledge of the course materials by performing well on exams/essays/projects/you-name-it, I shouldn’t be punished. That A grade should stay an A. 

    Too often a class I’ve had has spent a week or two teaching something I already know fairly well (especially those classes that teach a broad range of practical skills in a major), but I am forced to sit through lectures bored to tears. I often think about the tens of things I could be doing instead, which are more often than not, assignments for other classes I could be using this valuable time for. 

    Allow me to introduce the concept of life. Life has this crazy habit of happening. It happens to you, to me, even to the professors here. When a professor has a wedding they plan to attend, or are feeling a little sick, they call off class. 

    Tell me then, why when I missed a class due to a personal loss, I was emailed a “sorry for your loss,” followed by a Canvas notification of my attendance grade being lowered by 7%? When I’m paying for my college credits, what valid reason is there for attendance affecting my grade? Professors don’t get paid based on class attendance, so the only person negatively affected when a student misses class is the student. 

    Let’s dig into how the supposed function of classroom attendance is to motivate students. I’m willing to bet money that mandatory attendance doesn’t motivate any student to do better in class. It sure doesn’t motivate me to do better in class. 

    A student should want to attend class. If a student is paying to take a class, they should be engaged by and with the course material, and that interest will intrinsically motivate the student to keep attending and learning. Requiring the student’s presence, and actively lowering the grade if not graced with their presence will extrinsically motivate the student to attend class. It will not motivate the student to learn. 

    Extrinsic motivation, like keeping a seat warm to satisfy an arbitrary requirement, doesn’t hold a candle to the intrinsic motivation of actually being interested in what’s being taught. Otherwise, self-motivation is taken away from the student and butchered in the slaughterhouse of butts-in-seats and vacant stares. 

    According to a 2010 report by the American Educational Research Association, while attending class can assist in getting better grades, mandatory attendance has a very small impact on how the students perform. 

    For all of you professors out there balking at the idea, slow down and take a deep breath. I promise you that most of us would attend the majority of our classes, just like usual. After all, it’s our money on the line. If you think that nobody will attend your class without graded attendance, chances are your class sucks and you should step it up. Make us want to come to class. If I’m able to accomplish the majority of your coursework well without paying a lick of attention to your lectures, they’re probably not all that engaging. 

    Oh, and participation grading is fine. After all, the professor has to keep track of students contributing. In the case of discussion-based classes, maybe offer students who miss class a discussion board on Canvas to post things on. 
    Stopping mandatory attendance puts the power and capacity to learn into the hands of the student. It restores that joie-de-vivre that graded attendance robs us of and allows us to feel like students, eager to learn instead of prisoners chained to our degrees.

  • Straight people look gay

    Straight people look gay

    by Zack Mink

    Dating in Arcata can be rough. As a visibly queer person, I find that I attract all kinds of different people. The most frustrating breed is the queer-passing straight men.

    This is the man who is either being friendly or flirting – you’re always questioning if they’re into you or if you’re just being delusional.

    In the past, it has been super tricky because I wasn’t the only one convinced these queer-passing straight men were into me. What made it so difficult was my friends being able to corroborate my beliefs as audience members of my disastrous love life. For the two most impactful love interests of mine, my besties were right by my side, able to witness the main events, the flirting, the looks, the attention, etc. So after multiple experiences discovering one of my interests is actually straight, I have to ask myself… what made me think they weren’t? 

    Aside from a basic level of human connection, and the undeniably flirtatious energy I could feel whenever we would talk, my confusion about a guy’s sexuality ultimately would come down to two things: their emotional intelligence and their sense of style.

    Apparently the bar is on the floor when it comes to the emotional intelligence of a straight man (no offense to straight men), because when a guy is comfortable with himself, confident and generally aware of others and his surroundings, I’m absolutely convinced he is queer. There’s just a certain depth that I find straight men don’t have because of their privileges.

    When taking a step back, I also realize that I definitely don’t associate a good sense of style with straight men (no offense again). I did notice however that I was stereotyping clothes. When I saw something I believed was not traditionally masculine, it would lead me to make assumptions about people’s sexuality. As a breaker of many stereotypes myself, believing them is something I want to avoid. 

    With this goal in mind, I learned a few things about myself and this genre of man. The first thing I reminded myself of is that anyone can have a good sense of style because clothing is for everyone. I can’t gatekeep dangly earrings and head scarfs for the girls, gays and theys. The second thing was that by having a sense of style, trying new accessories and having fun with clothes, a man is fighting society’s standards of masculinity. This was my “A-ha” moment as Oprah would say, because as someone who partially identifies as a guy, I have never fit in with the standards of masculinity. I actually think that not fitting in and being treated differently encouraged me to not accept societes standards for myself. Yes, I’ll blame the conservative people from my childhood for me being queer. 

    So despite my struggles differentiating a straight guy with style from a queer person, and despite the time I’ve wasted on people who aren’t interested in me, I will show my appreciation for the authenticity of the ambiguous straight men.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: We’re all fucking the same people

    Jasmin’s Corner: We’re all fucking the same people

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    So, my community is running low on eligible and promiscuous singles. The whole town is starting to feel incestuous because we’ve all fucked each other, and it’s becoming more difficult to have casual sex with new people. Any advice? 

    If there were any words of warning I wish I had received before coming to this fuck-bucket of a dating pool, it would be that the ‘pool’ is definitely more of a puddle. This is one of those situations where no matter what kind of advice I could give you, the only true solution to this problem is to get the hell out of Dodge – or in this case, Humboldt. 

    Humboldt is so peculiar in its ratio of available hotties; the amount of beautiful women and non-binary/gender-fluid/etc folks is damn near abundant, whereas the variety and hotness of the male population is um… less than ideal. Like, bottom-of-the-barrel less than ideal. I’ve definitely said this before and I’ll definitely say it again, but the four variations of man that exist in Humboldt are all dirty in their own way. I’ve been lucky enough to track down and secure the hottest of the hotties, but not everyone is as aggressive as I am, so I understand the struggle. My point is, the ratio makes it even harder to find a new body, depending on which way(s) you swing. 

    Now, not all hope is lost. My roommates and I have been holding our breaths, hoping that this next wave of transfers coming for our brand-new Cal Poly title will bring at least a couple hundred hotties with it. If even that doesn’t end up panning out for you, then I think we both know what you need to do: if you’ve fucked all there is to be fucked, you must spread your wings and fuck elsewhere. Otherwise, you’re just fucking yourself – which, I’m sure you’ve already considered. 

    xoxo, 

    jasmin

  • Low effort and loving it

    by Zack Mink

    Being in your I-don’t-give-a-f*ck (IDAGF) era means that you do what you need to do for yourself. For me currently, this means I’m showing up to class in the same outfits every week, or pressing snooze on my alarm and committing to wearing pajamas all day. It’s giving low effort although I’m still on top of school and work because, “that’s what really matters,” as my Grandma would say. 

    I love clothes, thrifting, design, etc., but who am I trying to impress when I’m running to The Depot during a ten minute break? I’m tired of dressing up for the one cute guy in my class who doesn’t even know my name (yet). I’m done wasting a good outfit on a day when I’m sitting in one classroom for multiple classes back to back. Being as thoughtless as I am when it comes to my daily appearance takes a lot of work though. It takes a sense of style, confidence, and a certain je-ne-sais-quoi you would only know from hitting rock-bottom, possibly even multiple times. 

    When I say hitting rock-bottom, I mean a struggle you have had in life that you learned from. Something that taught you a life lesson, brought a growth opportunity. No judgment to the people who have never been to therapy, but working to improve yourself is super important. It’s a time when you focus on loving yourself, owning your flaws, and working to improve yourself however that looks for you. It’s also hot, so if you have never been to therapy I highly recommend taking advantage of the free resources campus provides. Focusing on your personal growth brings you a third-of-the-way to thriving in your IDGAF era; the second part is being confident. Luckily… you’ve had some time now to work on yourself, learned a life lesson or two, gained some emotional maturity, and are feeling happy with how far you’ve come. 

    The turning point for me was my junior year of high school. It was the third high school I went to, so during the first week I took advantage of the fact that I was the new kid. Being my bold self, I ran for treasurer with no one even knowing my name. I didn’t win, but it was still fun to just not take it too seriously, break down my walls and be confident in who I was. Some may say that was actually the beginning of my IDGAF era.

    The missing piece to being successful in your IDGAF era is having a sense of style. Like I said, I’m an outfit repeater and wear the same exact things every week. Not to brag, but I do consistently get compliments on my eight dollar sweatshirt and the t-shirt I thrifted that has a huge hole in the armpit. Maybe it’s the low standards of Arcata, or maybe I’m just delusional, but all you need is some style to pull off being low effort and presentable.

    Once you’ve reached this point, you can truly enjoy the world around you. You have prioritized yourself, grown emotionally, and gained confidence allowing you to be successful in the other aspects of your life. You also look cute and are the mysterious person someone thinks about after seeing you walk to class. So be free my little birds, get help – because if you’ve read this far you need it, and I wish you a pleasant journey finding your successful low effort lifestyle.
    If you are in need of emotional and mental health support, please reach out to Counseling & Psychological Services at humboldtcaps@humboldt.edu or call 707.826.3146 to sign up for free mental health/counseling services through TimelyCare.

  • Step into the Humboldt party scene: a review

    by Christina Mehr

    Some say there’s no party scene here in Humboldt to have an opinion on, but they’re the people who have no friends and aren’t getting invited to things in the first place. Stay mad. For a campus that claims to be a dry campus, it is certainly most not. Just take a look outside and you’ll smell the scent of earthy weed being consumed by students. Up here, it’s pretty much part of the culture to be involved in the stoner community. Aside from the magnificent coastal redwoods, people know Humboldt as a place that grows good weed.

    Photo by Christina Mehr

    Assuming you’re into the party scene here at Humboldt, then you’re aware of the infamous Nicki House. You can see this party venue from the JGC parking lot, adorned with a flag of Nicki Minaj saluting an American flag. Most “venues” are just an inside space where party-goers can hang out, listening to shitty music and conversing with the same three people you came with, but the Nicki house however has something special. The house is run by all women who are reclaiming the frat party vibe. 

    If dressed in the theme, guys’ entry to these parties are five dollars and girls get in for free. If you’re one to participate in hookup culture, then you’re screwed with that ratio unless you play for both teams. Themes have ranged from Y2K to blackout, to a comfy pajama party. The themed parties bring a sense of playfulness into regular gatherings. The way the community connects is through drugs, alcohol, music and trying to leave the crowded house.

    The cons, there’s only one way in and out of the house which poses a threat of danger in case of emergency. The house itself is quite crowded with the line to get in out the door, but if you’re into the sweaty bump and grind you’ll fit in just fine. If you can’t make it into the main house, or are too cheap to, there’s plenty of overflow out front where the beer pong table sits. Party places are like fads, they come and go, just like the entire freshman class pulling up to the same party. 

    If you know how to have a good time, then you’re part of the population who is living it up in college. The best way to make the most out of your weekend? Pregame with your closest friends, have a few drinks, smoke a joint and find a party. That is until the party gets shut down 45 minutes after starting and the cops start playing beer pong.

  • Fuck your bare feet

    Fuck your bare feet

    by Alana Hackman

    Call me a conservative, but making this statement in Arcata of all places is bound to get me into some trouble; I don’t want to see your feet. Yes, we’ve made plenty of jokes about it in the paper and it is a topic of discussion on various platforms like Yik Yak and Cal Poly Humboldt confessions, but I am someone who feels very strongly about this subject. Far enough to get a crop top stating “I support shoes” on it. 

    Let me explain a few things first: I’m not a foot hater. I wouldn’t say I’m appalled by bare feet or find them disgusting, nor do I have an issue with the anatomical structure of a bare foot alone. I do, however, have an issue with the time and place in which they are presented, which seems to be 24/7 in Arcata. No shoes, no shirt, no service? Never seen a sign like that here aside from Dead Reckoning Tavern (shoutout to y’all). I kiss the ground of the establishments that display those signs when I’m back home. In the figure-of-speech way – kissing the ground is unsanitary, which is why your raw foot skin should not be on them. 

    I will turn a blind eye to bare toes in select places. A few examples include the beach, the pool, and, hell, even the community forest. I get the whole ‘earthing’ thing making you more connected to the Earth’s energy, and how your shoes constrict your feet yea-yea-yea – but how much positive Earth rays are really flowing through the third floor of the library, or the human feces riddled streets of California? Don’t even get me started on seeing shoe-less folks in the health center. I guess I can sometimes get behind the stripped soles movement, but only if you’ve ingested a handful of psychedelics and are questioning all of your moral beliefs.

    Basically, what I’m getting to is public enclosed settings should be off limits for the flashing of phalanges. I’ve seen way too many toes mingling under group tables in the library, and don’t remind me of the woman’s toes gripping the corner of a barstool cushion at Everett’s. Have y’all ever heard of plantar’s wart or athlete’s foot? Like, seriously, I get it that everywhere has germs and gross things, but I can promise some of y’all bare feet boosters are tucking those dusty things right into bed with you every night.

    Listen, as long as you’re scrubbing those babies good before bed and when you enter a home, I guess I can’t go too far with my opinion. Just please keep them out of public places! Slap a pair of tevas or sandals on and call it a day. I’d say my support of body autonomy ends at the bare feeters of Arcata, California.