The Lumberjack



Students Serving The Cal Poly Humboldt Campus and Community Since 1929

Tag: Opinion

  • Ins and Outs of 2024

    Ins and Outs of 2024

    by The Lumberjack Staff

    In:

    • Pops of color
    • Talking about money
    • Tuna fish
    • Umbrellas
    • Reproductive rights
    • Workplace unions
    • Voting
    • Reading the newspaper
    • Physical media
    • Mindful walking
    • Eating in season
    • Community cooking
    • Tea
    • Journaling
    • Developing personal style
    • Accessories
    • Single era 
    • Confidence
    • Platonic relationships
    • Female rappers
    • Handmade clothing
    • Mending clothes
    • Listening to the radio (KRFH)
    • Fleece 
    • Canadian tuxedo
    • Cowboy boots
    • Wearing a mask
    • Clogs
    • Faux fur
    • Being unapologetic
    • Vests
    • Cats
    • Repurposing furniture
    • Advocating for yourself
    • Gardening
    • Living with your besties
    • Hydration

    Out:

    • Sleeping in past noon
    • Coffee
    • Apple Pay
    • Fast fashion
    • Vintage resellers
    • Losing yourself in a relationship
    • People pleasing
    • Fear of vulnerability
    • Shrinking yourself for others
    • Doom scrolling
    • Girl dinner
    • Vices
    • Drunk cigarette
    • Straight dating apps
    • Situationships
    • Bad eyesight 
    • Overpriced skincare
    • Male fragility
    • Micromanaging
    • Under-seasoning your food
    • Trend followers
    • Fetishizing 
    • Labeling others
  • Jasmin’s Corner; situationship follow up

    Jasmin’s Corner; situationship follow up

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Jasmin,

    I read your last article about situationships…

    The fact is. I’m in one, but I’m the other person. Not the person feeling sorry in the relationship. Not that I’m taking advantage of her, but she doesn’t want to fucking leave me. Even though she knows it’ll be the right thing for both of us. I feel bad for being on the other side though. 

    I’m kinda stuck too. My housing relies on her, so I haven’t ended things. 

    Oh, dear. Looks like someone accidentally pooped where they eat. 

    I’ve been where you are; literally, relying on housing from a bad relationship. I wasn’t in a place where I could just up-and-move either. 

    Realistically, you don’t have a lot of options here. You can either move or make up. The way I got out was by going to college and moving in the dorms, which seriously saved me. My life wasn’t in physical danger, thankfully, but I had definitely lost my sense of self. Moving made me regrasp control of my life. 

    It sounds like kissing and making up are out of the question in this situation. She’s not over you, but you’re clearly over her. The best thing you can do for the both of you is leave, though that’s easier said than done. 

    I know rent is crazy expensive around here – and hell, you might be stuck in a lease – but if you have any friends whose place you can crash at, do so immediately. Paying for a storage unit, or pitching in for a friend’s rent, will help you save money in the long run. You can start saving for a therapy fund. 

    You’ll never truly be ready for anything in life, whether it’s a relationship, moving or anything in between. You have to put yourself in a position where change can find you – ready or not. 

    xoxo,

    Jasmin

  • Why your gut knows what’s up before you do

    Why your gut knows what’s up before you do

    by Christina Mehr

    The best piece of advice my mom has ever given me is to trust my gut. Intuition is an amazing thing and as a highly sensitive individual, I have finally come to appreciate the signals my body tells me.

    Sometimes, we can’t explain why we get these strong instinctive hunches. The uneasiness in your tummy or the tightness of anxiety in your chest. Even when we don’t have all the information, our gut can lead us in the right direction. There’ve been a few situations where this has saved me.

    Recently two people very close to me, one being my cousin and the other my best friend, kept a secret from me. They had begun having romantic feelings for each other and instead of telling me, began sneaking around with their exciting new relationship.

    Over the course of the next six months, I began to notice a shift in dynamics. People on the outside of a relationship can usually tell something is happening before they even know it themselves. Before the advance in their relationship, I knew I was a priority in this trio, being the one who introduced the two in the first place.

    My friends around me would comment on their closeness, asking if I thought they were anything more than friends. I defended them to everyone who asked me what was going on, trusting that my cousin and best friend would be telling me the truth.

    My entire family and friend group noticed how they had become increasingly close, even to the point where she was coming over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, being included in family plans without me knowing about it. 

    When I started specifically asking my best friend about it, I was very quickly gaslit and manipulated into doubting the things I was noticing and the way I was feeling. They kept assuring me that nothing had been going on. 

    Things came to a head on New Year’s Eve, when I witnessed them sharing a kiss and began pushing me off to the side. Since I wasn’t getting the truth, I looked through my best friend’s phone and saw messages that confirmed my initial feelings. This reassured me that I was not delusional and that my feelings were justified. I was not just making things up.

    I now know to never second guess the way I’m feeling. When I get that pit in my stomach and my mind begins to run, I take a second to validate the way I’m feeling. I believe gut feelings are a result of our subconscious mind processing information and making quick judgments, protecting us from what we already may have suspicions of. 

  • It’s getting hard to be Jewish on campus

    It’s getting hard to be Jewish on campus

    by Zack Mink

    The biggest challenge with being Jewish on campus at Cal Poly Humboldt used to be the lack of community. There are small groups here and there but nothing that reminds me of home: a more reformed, modern take on Judaism. After the massacre on Oct. 7, 2023, being Jewish on campus has led to issues that I would not have expected from a school or peers that seemed to hold an immense amount of respect for minorities and Indigenous people. I still see these empathetic and humane values in some individuals, but from my experience it has become too easy for people to pick and choose who they respect, value, or who they are open to hearing from. This in turn has led to a new level of blatant antisemitism that I have not experienced before. 

    I want to make it clear that this piece is not about my opinions on the current geopolitical conflict between Israel and Hamas in Gaza, because I couldn’t even begin to take on that responsibility. I’m here simply to share that antisemitism is alive and well at Cal Poly Humboldt, and that finding a middle ground, having empathy and seeking peace is productive rather than dismissing, accusing or blatantly hating someone for sharing their lived experiences.

    Something that I have made clear since Oct. 7 is that I don’t want people to die. I don’t want death, destruction, genocide, ethnic cleansing or anything else that brings harm to Palestinians in Gaza or the civilians in Israel. This may seem basic to just objectively have empathy for human life, yet that is something that I always feel is missing when people send me hateful anti-semitic DMs accusing me of white supremacy, or of being a genocidal colonist. What they don’t see, or perhaps turn a blind eye to, is me consistently looking to educate myself as an American Jew using resources by Jews, Palestinians, Israelis, historical experts and anyone else providing concrete facts (modern or historical), because one perspective isn’t enough.

    Just two days after Oct. 7, anti-semitic messages were written on the sukkah on campus. A sukkah is a traditional Jewish structure used to celebrate the holiday Sukkot. The one thing that was on campus representing Jews (with no connection to the state of Israel) was vandalized. This outward act of anti-semitism was simply the beginning for me. 

    Just days after, a close friend and business mentor of mine who prides themselves on their knowledge of Indigenous history as well as supporting minorities self-determination and equal rights began discussing Jewish history with me. Since I trusted her as someone who is extremely educated on these topics, I wanted to understand her perspective on the current conflict, however different it might be from mine. A conversation I assumed would lead to progress for both of us. After this conversation, I discovered that she had unfollowed me, unshared her location, and essentially cut me out of her life completely. When I asked why, or if she would have another meaningful conversation with me, she said no because of our fundamental disagreements—the fundamental disagreement being that Jews are from the land of modern day Israel. 

    With thousands of years of documentation, it is quite clear and flat out historically accurate that Jewish people come from the Kingdom of Judea (previously colonized by the British, Ottomans, Crusaders, Arabs, Romans, Greeks, etc.) Does this take away from Palestinians’ lived experiences today? Absolutely not. Does it justify the actions of the Israeli government? Absolutely not. Is denying this fact erasing Jewish history and their connection to the land? Absolutely. 

    While I sit here holding empathy for Palestinian civilians in Gaza, acknowledging their pain, struggles and lived experiences, I simultaneously speak about Jewish lived experiences and Jewish history. We can and need to strive for peace, acknowledge and appreciate each other’s connection to the land, value life and not invalidate others to validate ourselves. 

  • Jasmin Corner; leave your situationship

    Jasmin Corner; leave your situationship

    By Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    Can I be in love with someone I’m not dating? This situationship has got me fucked up.

    How do I answer this without coming off like a complete bitch? Your situationship is not real. That’s not to say your feelings aren’t real, or that the love doesn’t exist – but a situationship is not a real thing. The creation of the label “situationship” has opened the doors for this generation to participate in an unwinnable battle: The IDGAF wars. I like you, so let’s find out which one of us can care the least to keep the other person interested without fully committing? 

    What is a situationship? To me, it’s one person caring more than the other. One person giving more than the other. One person receiving more than the other — you get it. A situationship will never fulfill you in the ways you’re looking for. Rather, this infatuation will leave you feeling more hollow. One person will always have more power than the other. 

    That’s not to say I don’t understand where you’re coming from; you caught feelings for the wrong person. It happens to the best of us. At the core of it, we are all just creatures looking for love, security, comfort, happiness; we want to feel desired and safe. There is no safety in a situationship. In fact, more often than not, they all have a three month shelf life. Seriously, name one situationship where things stayed good after that three month mark — if that existed, it would evolve into a relationship. 

    “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

    Everyone, their mother and their mother’s single best friend knows this phrase. It’s true though! We often don’t love ourselves enough to believe we deserve better, and so we stay in the situation(ships) we know because it’s the space we’ve decided to fill. You deserve to take up space with someone who will appreciate how you light up the room. 

    xoxo, 

    Jasmin

  • I don’t tell people I’m autistic. I’m trying to change that.

    By Griffin Mancuso

    When I was 14 going into my freshman year of high school, my mother enrolled me with a new therapist shortly before school started. My parents were concerned about the transition to high school and wanted me to have a support system. I also went to my hair stylist right before so that I’d look presentable for the first day of school.

    Just after getting my modernized Karen cut trimmed and getting in the car to go to my appointment, my mother turned to me and told me I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at four years old. She didn’t want to confuse me when I was younger and didn’t want the therapist to tell me first.

    I was livid, but somehow relieved. I finally had a reason for the continual failure to connect with my peers as a child; I had an answer to the “why?” that had plagued me since I started my education. I had a reason, which meant I had a path forward.

    Besides telling the entire campus I am autistic before even getting into this article, it’s normally something I don’t bring up. I had witnessed how neurodivergent people were treated throughout my childhood, and my greatest fear was being associated with them. I didn’t want to be “special.” I hated being talked down to by adults and peers. I was infantilized and dismissed until I eventually figured out how to pass as neurotypical.

    When I tell people I’m autistic, I’m usually met with surprise. I’m ashamed to say that I feel a bit relieved when I’m told that I don’t seem autistic or that they never would have guessed I was. Internalized ableism is a hell of a beast. I want to embrace my autistic identity, but I also want to blend into neurotypical society. Letting myself unmask means less built-up stress and being able to get things done, but blending in means having friends and job opportunities.

    With the life experience I have now, I have found that there is a lack of education on ASD among the general public and the medical field. I have been assessed for ASD twice because a therapist I had a few years ago didn’t believe I was autistic. Since autism assessments are based on outdated research, I was genuinely afraid that the psychologist doing the test wouldn’t believe me either. I’ve been met with hospital staff declaring me neurotypical after two minutes of knowing me.

    An autism assessment is almost traumatic in and of itself. There is no established test for older children and adults. The current test is made for young children and involves playing with toys and reading picture books. Having to play pretend with Barbies at 17 years old to prove you’re autistic is a little humiliating. I stomached the preschool voice that all adults use with autistic people and whatever juvenile task I was given to prove that my experience was real.

    I don’t want my autism to be defined by suffering and shame. I try to make connections with other neurodivergent people and allow myself to use resources that will help me. Being a part of a community has helped me cope with the stress of blending into neurotypical society. I still put on the mask when I go about my day, but I now have times when I can unwind with people who understand my experience.

    Autism has become much more visible in mainstream media since I was younger. There are autistic social media influencers and shows with autistic characters. While we aren’t quite there yet as a society, I have seen monumental progress in the normalization of autistic people. We now see a wider diversity of experiences and, with new social media platforms, we can see those experiences in everyday life.

    Our society was not made with neurodivergent people in mind. Being neurodivergent can look different for every person, and who are we to decide who gets to have the label and who doesn’t? Neurotypical people haven’t taken me seriously even with a diagnosis. 

    One of the biggest contributors to internalized ableism is worrying about what the majority thinks; worrying that the autistic community won’t be taken seriously because of your individual experience. You don’t have to prove to anyone that you are autistic, nor do you have to tone yourself down to make everyone else comfortable. You are allowed to put a label on your experience so you don’t have to continue asking yourself, “Why?”

  • BeReal is making social media fun again

    BeReal is making social media fun again

    by Carlina Grillo

    I’ve always wanted to be one of those girls with zero online presence; carrying around a flip phone, spending their downtime reading classic literature in a field of flowers. If you’re one of those people, feel free to stop reading now. 

    I, like many young people today, am the victim of chronic social media usage and the (more than) occasional doom scroll. I’ve always had a hard time embracing my social media crutch, but especially since middle school. It started one day after I lost a year-long “snap streak.” I rage-quit off the app, and never looked back. After getting the ick from Snapchat, I couldn’t fully quit. Some may say it made me cling onto other platforms, like Instagram, even more. 

    Now at this point you might be thinking to yourself, “What do you mean Carlina? Why can’t you be both a nature girly and an Instagram baddie?” I can, but if I am reading classic literature in a flower field, you already know it’s going on my Instagram story. Maybe even on the main feed with a cute little caption like, “love this life <3.” 

    But then… am I actually reading my book or did I all of a sudden get distracted and start looking at memes -– dare I say, doom scrolling -– even though I’m supposed to be enjoying the outdoors? It’s a vicious cycle. 

    Now look, this opinion isn’t to rant about social media, and maybe I just have a toxic relationship with the internet, but I’ve become honest with myself and my daily social media intake. Although there’s a lot of bad, there’s so much good, too. From new career opportunities to media coverage on a whole new level, social media is undeniably an important resource in today’s society. 

    That being said, the essential role social media plays in everyone’s day-to-day life has made certain platforms evolve from a place where you can see what your cousin in Idaho is doing to a constant stream of media published by people you’ve never met. Depending on how many accounts you subscribe to, the posts you’d like to see, like your Aunt Susan’s new pumpkin pie recipe, might get drowned and lost forever to the mainstream. That’s where the headline comes in. 

    I feel very strongly about the new(ish) social media platform: BeReal. I suppose I should mention this is not sponsored, although I wish it was. 

    BeReal is an app where users get a notification at a random time everyday. The notification goes off at the same time for each user, and at a completely different time each day. When you get the notification, you’re prompted to take a selfie, then a photo with the back camera. This quick photo spree creates a completely unfiltered feed of/for your close friends. If you give the app permission, it will even document your general location and what you’re listening to, so your friends on the app can get the whole vibe. For me, this ranges from my bestie sitting on the toilet, to that cousin in Idaho grinding homework, or maybe even a colleague at a concert. 

    It’s a beautiful thing, seeing what everyone is doing at the same time. Don’t fret though, if you miss the notification, you can post a late BeReal. Everyone sees you posted late, and you’re limited to one photo instead of the newly added feature where if you post your first photo on time, you get to post two more. 

    One time, after I had missed the BeReal notification, I decided to take my late BeReal during my maid of honor speech at my sister’s wedding. It was an epic ice-breaker, a beautiful moment and a memory captured on camera from my POV that will be forever cherished.

    In summary, here’s a few of the reasons you should ditch your current favorite social media and make the switch to BeReal: 

    • The rush of getting a BeReal notification. The joy of exclaiming, “It’s time to BeReal!” and seeing everyone pull out their phones.
    • Seeing everyone’s unfiltered, and at times ugly, selfies. 
    • Limited posts, so you’re unable to doom scroll. 
    • If you need more of a social media fix, you can see what your friends-of- friends are up to.
    • Getting an inside look into what your friends actually do day to day.
    • Having a collection of daily selfies to look back on.
    • And as a journalist, no news! Just a lighthearted escape from the stress of reality, and the constant stream of media we are always consuming.
  • Everything comes at a price. My newfound sanity came with an extra 65 pounds.

    Everything comes at a price. My newfound sanity came with an extra 65 pounds.

    by Savana Robinson

    Last year, after a bout of psychosis and mania, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar I. I was given a little blue pill called Abilify. Abilify (aripiprazole) is an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer that kept me on my rocker for a few months until my body started changing. I was prescribed Abilify in March 2023 when I weighed about 130 pounds. By May, I was 160. I went to my psychiatrist and he put me on Vraylar (cariprazine) which is a weight-neutral drug, meaning it should have stopped the weight gain. It didn’t. My general mental health was starting to decline, but at least I wasn’t convinced that everyone was out to kill me. I was probably overeating to some extent, but not enough to gain another 30 pounds. Yet around Nov., I hit 195. The drugs had wreaked havoc on my body and I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had started an antidepressant, Wellbutrin (bupropion) back in the summer and it slowly started to help me accept my body and not mope about it all the time.

    I decided to start Weight Watchers (WW) on Christmas Day. It was the best decision I’ve made in a while. It’s been almost a month and I’ve lost six pounds! I’d been tracking calories for seven months with no results, but doing WW, which factors in grams of fat, protein, carbs and more, I’m taking a more holistic approach to weight loss. It’s also like a game; I get daily and weekly points to spend on food and I have to budget my points like they’re money. I went from constantly planning what I was going to eat to only thinking about it right before eating.

    Even though my body is different than it was before my life-changing diagnosis, I’m still the happy person I was before. I wouldn’t say I’m the same; I’m stronger. I’m more resilient. I am grateful for my body and my opportunity to live this life in this world.

    No matter what you look like, if you’re happy, then you’re perfect. It took me a while to love myself even when I thought I didn’t deserve to. Now, as Billie Eilish said, ‘I’m happier than ever. I’m no longer trying to be someone else.’ I’m just being Savana Motherfucking Robinson.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Treat yourself better

    Jasmin’s Corner: Treat yourself better

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,

    I feel like men only really want me for my body? Am I doing something wrong?

    My friend, it’s not necessarily that you’re doing something wrong, but perhaps you’re not treating yourself well. As someone who spent her teenage years feeling this way, it took a long time for me to realize that I was centering my value – and really, my life – around men, specifically their validation. 

    I spent a really long time looking for ways to prove I was worthy of love, and I recognize now that that led to becoming very hypersexual. And while that made for me to be a decent love and relationship writer, it also created a pattern of accepting men into my life that had no business being there. 

    I allowed men to validate me through my body and this took several years of introspection to begin to break the habit. It appears in subconscious ways, such as begging for a text back, allowing the title of ‘situationship’ and plenty of other ways in which we accept crumbs of love. We make excuses for behaviors we wouldn’t exhibit to justify how it makes us feel, but that doesn’t mean we deserve it – or that we need it at all. 

    That’s not to say that you’ve done the same thing, because there are also plenty of wolves in sheep’s clothing out there, but I recommend reflecting on why you accept the love that is offered to you and if you lower your value to accept it. 

    Oftentimes, we are so self-critical that we miss the worth and light within ourselves. I don’t necessarily think you’re doing anything wrong, but I don’t think you’re treating yourself right. It won’t be a quick and easy process, but I remember the first time I didn’t beg for a text back from a guy I really liked – that obviously didn’t respect me – I felt, what I think, was my first true sense of self-respect, at least in regards to dating. 

    I had to learn that sometimes it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. I had to spend time with myself and enjoy my own company to realize the value in it, and I think that would be good for you, too. 

    All the love for you.

    xoxo, 

    Jasmin

  • How to host the perfect function; tips and tricks from an expert

    How to host the perfect function; tips and tricks from an expert

    by Zack Mink

    With the 2024 spring semester starting this week, friends coming back to town, parties, kickbacks, hangouts and get-togethers are going to be in full swing. As someone who has lived on campus and now is off-campus, I take it upon myself to be a host to my friends and build a safe place to reconnect. With this privilege, along with my passion for hospitality and my culinary expertise, I’m sharing four tips and tricks to be a good host even on a limited college budget.

    1. Prioritize yourself and your financial security. 
    • As I mentioned before, friends are coming back into town and our full class schedules loom over the horizon. This might seem like the best time to get together with your friends, splurge a little bit and maybe even ignore the numbers slowly lowering in your bank account. But, from my own experience, it is never worth sacrificing a week’s worth of groceries for a night out on the town. Setting boundaries and being open about financial status, if comfortable, is the first step to being a good host. 
    1. Communicate and accommodate 
    • Nothing is worse than going to your friend’s place and finding out that you can’t enjoy what someone has prepared or had planned. Whether it is a food restriction, physical accommodation, or even just a personal preference, checking in with your guests to see what they might like or can’t enjoy is important to make sure they are happy and well taken care of. 
    1. Be attentive
    • Being a host whether for a small get-together or a larger event requires you to stay on your toes and look out for your guests and their needs. Sometimes, you might be running around refilling people’s beverages, replenishing snacks or making sure everyone is included in the fun. This responsibility certainly requires you to pay constant attention to each and every one of your guests, but I believe that should be easy and come naturally if you’re around the people you care about.
    1. Your house, your rules
    • Setting house rules is a necessary boundary for not only your guests to have a good night, but for you, the host, to enjoy yourself before, during and after your get-together. For a big party, this might look like having a bedroom off-limits, capping the volume of music (so the party can keep going) or making clear what time the party will be over. For a small event, this might be something as simple as taking your shoes off inside or coasters being used on your favorite table. Some might see these boundaries as unnecessary or over the top, but they really just represent a certain level of consideration that guests should have when entering someone’s home. They also can make the cleaning-up process much easier for the host the next day. 

    So, next time you get together with your friends, or next time you go out to a party, keep these four tips in mind to ensure that you and your friends have a great time and a peaceful introduction to the new semester.

  • Students should support the CFA strike

    by Alexandra Berrocal

    First, they came for our housing.

    Then, they came for our alternative housing students.

    Now, they are coming for our professors.

    When is this going to end?

    At this time, it is easier than ever to develop an ‘us versus them’ mentality. However, we need to remember that students and professors are all in this together. When we stood up for the right to basic housing last year, professors stood with us. When students living in their vehicles were, for heaven’s sake, cruelly kicked out of the school parking lots, professors stood with us. Professors have always been our allies in a world that seems to be squeezing us tighter and tighter. 

    Let’s make this clear: the world is becoming a harsher and harsher place to live, and universities, unfortunately, are not exempt from this. Students can still struggle throughout their college experience for all kinds of reasons. Despite the university attempting to make it easy for students to access mental health resources and disability accommodations, accessing those services can still be hard for people. We need them now more than ever.

    I personally cannot justify the university only giving staff a month of parental leave. How can anyone justify leaving a new baby without their parent at daycare after only a month? Professors should have a semester of parental leave, at least. That should just be common sense, and I don’t understand how that isn’t the law of the land. I also cannot believe that some of the lecturers who are so willing to share their expertise with the students are not making liveable wages. This is unconscionable. I believe that college professors and lecturers deserve the greatest respect because they pass down important knowledge and educate the new generation. This respect should extend to transgender and non-binary staff. It is basic common sense that there should be access to gender-neutral bathrooms for faculty. Students these days claim to care about trans rights, yet fail to advocate for their leadership’s rights to these same facilities. Universities claim to be bastions of progressive ideals yet they pay lip service to trans students, while simultaneously neglecting their own faculty. Speaking of faculty, my former faculty advisor was swamped with work that was completely unrelated to teaching last semester and I know that he is not alone. My advisor has had to do more administrative work lately with less time to focus on her passion for teaching. From my point of view, that’s pretty crazy – and not in a good way.

    When we protested, our teachers stood with us. It’s time for us to stand with them.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    Jasmin’s Corner: Ghoster, ghostie, gone

    by Jasmins Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin, 

    The guy I recently ghosted became my neighbor, and I found out the guy I’m talking to now is his roommate. Neither of them know yet, but he invited me to come over tonight. Me and the other guy ended on really awful terms and I don’t even think he would let me in his house – like I made him cry. I kinda want to just go over and see what happens. Thoughts?

    Oh, you’re a messy bitch – I love you! Let me tell you, there are messier situations you could be in. Like, say they were brothers and you swapped them out for each other within a 24 hour cycle… been there done that, amirite? Point is, even though you’re stuck between a cock and a hard place, there are bigger cocks and harder places, so don’t fret. 

    In life, we often find ourselves in sitcoms all the time. Sometimes I say to just live for the plot! If you like this guy, why not try to see what happens with him? You’re going to have to be honest with him about your previous situation with his roommate, but we are literally all adults. dibs aren’t real and winner takes all. If you click, you click and if you don’t, you don’t. Worst case scenario, if he’s a ‘bro-code’ kind of guy, you’re honestly dodging a bullet anyway. 

    Though, it kind of seems like you owe the other guy an apology. I’m not sure how intense of a relationship you had with him, but you should definitely sit down and say sorry for ghosting him – it’s just a shitty thing to do all around if you hung out for more than a few weeks. As a ghoster and a ghostie, I’ve learned there are better ways of handling those situations than leaving unfinished business; shit always has a way of staying in your cheeks. Unless he was being weird or threatening – if that’s the case, just leave the whole house alone. 

    You’ll all be fine in the end. 5 years from now, I bet none of you will matter to each other. Have fun, be wild, have sex with whoever you want to, have an orgy, use a rubber, get tested, and always have enthusiastic consent!

    xoxo,

    jasmin

  • Be open and honest for better dating

    by Kianna Znika

    We live in a time where most of us are liberated and independent enough to know that dating isn’t a necessity; we’ve done the work to be okay on our own. We pour love into ourselves, additionally surrounding ourselves with the healing, platonic love from our friends and family. 

    When I first started celebrating my independence as a single person, I had a couple of realizations. First was that I genuinely loved who I was and the life I was creating for myself. I couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I’d justify unsatisfying connections, convincing myself that kindness should compensate for a lack of genuine interest. I’d cling to situations that left me miserable, telling myself excuses like, “Well, they’re kind of nice to me, so it’s okay,” or “Maybe I’m just being shallow.”

    I was chipping away at my self-worth and esteem by invalidating my true wants and needs, accepting less than satisfactory situations when I knew, deep down, that my heart wanted more.

    Being brutally honest with oneself is a mantra I now live by. It’s the compass that guided me to the other realization — I am, at my core, a romantic soul yearning for genuine connection and love.

    Now, I’m not saying that this is something I need in my life; rather, it was a beautiful change in mindset towards dating. I will flow through my life and open my heart to love, but I will only involve myself in connections that match my own wants and needs.

    “I don’t need to be with someone. So if I am going to be with someone, it’ll be because it’s my dream scenario,” is what I told myself.

    And, although this isn’t the one-step cure to dating – I definitely still found myself in dissatisfying situations along the way – I am so grateful that I stayed true to what I wanted because I can now confidently say that I found that dream scenario. I am happily in a relationship with someone who aligns with my aspirations and supports my joy and independence.

    Now, imagine if I hadn’t been honest along the way?

    While I’m proud of the normalization of polyamory, I’ve witnessed some people force themselves into it when all they really want, deep down, is to focus on one romantic partner. Let’s keep celebrating all personal loving and dating styles, embracing the beauty of individual preferences. If you want monogamy, own it. It’s okay. Be honest and you’ll attract someone who wants to be monogamous with you, too.

    I hear people say they’re not looking for something serious, while continuously doing and saying things that prove to me that what they really want is a relationship. I believe they do this in order to “be chill” and protect themselves. It seems like everyone in the dating scene right now isn’t looking for anything serious. But, what if some people are only saying that because everyone else is?

    I’m grateful that I was honest with myself about the type of dating experience I wanted. I was unapologetically upfront about wanting a genuine relationship, even on the first date. Crazy? No, just emotionally available and confident.

    So, don’t settle. If you want a certain type of dating experience, odds are someone else out there wants the same thing. They exist, just like you do. Remember: dating isn’t a necessity, so might as well make it exactly what you want and deserve. Your dream scenario is not only possible; it’s worth it. 

  • Self-diagnosed autism is a trend

    by Kae Dennert

    I would like to preface this with the words: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH DIAGNOSES; I believe autism is incredibly real, and a struggle a lot of people deal with, but I also believe that with the internet these days, it has become trendy to have the newest popular mental illness. 

    I have been diagnosed with many things in the past few years, so I am aware how tricky getting a diagnosis is, so I’m not going to shut down self diagnosis as a whole, as it isn’t that black and white. Walking down memory lane, back in 2016 it was incredibly “quirky” to post about how depressed you are, and it became something where everyone tried to outstage each other, which also brought along people who felt they felt similarly to the creators posting about it, which led to people self-diagnosing. 

    This again happened in 2019-2020, where it suddenly became a trend to have anxiety, and that was once again followed in 2021 where it was a trend to have ADHD. Now where am I headed with this? Earlier this year there was an uptick in trending conversations on what symptoms could mean you are possibly secretly autistic. This led to many “oh my god maybe I’m autistic I keep seeing these videos” comments. 

    Now, there are certainly people who saw these videos, felt like they saw themselves, and decided to take steps to use tools to help them, or help them get diagnosed, and I think that it’s amazing that awareness online can help people, but I also think it has become hard to decipher who is pretending for attention, and who actually needs the help. It has been trendy to make videos about what symptoms are “autistic” (which also overlap heavily with other disorders, like ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc.) with no further context of what could be going on besides autism.

    These narrowings into one answer don’t take into account each person’s individuality and their struggles and what that can mean for them. Because diagnoses overlap, the trending diagnosis is the one that is going to stick. This can shut people down and discourage them from finding more answers that could have helped them more in the long run.

    It locks people in a corner, and they can believe there is no other option for them besides aligning with that determination. Because of this many people don’t search for answers that could lead them to help, because other illnesses become stigmatized while being “neurotypical” gets you scrutinized for not understanding the viewpoint of neurodivergence. I think that everyone should be able to be themselves without having to shape themselves into different people for others, but doesn’t everyone want that? 

    At the end of the day, a new trend will inevitably pop up, and people will swear up and down in their life that they “never had autism” and instead have the new hip trending illness.

  • Flush that fecal matter

    Flush that fecal matter

    by Jillian Wells

    Well folks, buckle up because we’re diving deep into the uncharted territory of unflushed mysteries on campus. I never thought my college experience would involve investigative journalism in the bathroom, but here we are. 

    Picture this: you just got out of class, you’ve been a hydrated queen all day and drank all 21 ounces of water from your HydroFlask, now your bladder is about to implode on itself, so you rush to the bathroom expecting a nice, clean, flushed environment. When all of a sudden, you peer into the stall and see a huge, nasty piece of feces. Every other stall is currently occupied, panic is starting to set in because you’re running out of time, sweat trickles down your forehead from the pain in your bladder and realization about what you’re about to go through, with no other choice, you brave the stall with nothing but a pile of shit. It’s a shitty situation, no pun intended.  

    Now that we understand each other and the situation a bit more, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of unflushed shit in public restrooms on campus. I truly don’t understand the reasoning behind the decision to not flush your fecal matter, and genuinely have so many questions. 

     What do you hope to gain? Do you enjoy it when other people see your poop? Is it some form of protest? Is there an underground society of non-flushers plotting world domination one unflushed toilet at a time? Are you at all concerned about the poor souls who have to see your waste? I really am curious about the why of it all, if you’re someone who doesn’t flush your poop in public restrooms, let me know.

    I can’t speak to this being an issue in men’s bathrooms, because as a female with she/her pronouns, I tend to avoid mens bathrooms like the plague. But, I hope for those of you out there who use men’s bathrooms, that the situation isn’t as shitty as it has been in the womens and gender neutral bathrooms. 

    I’ve probably seen the unwelcomed sight of unflushed fecal matter in just about every major public restroom on campus, the main offenders include Gist Hall, the Library and Founders Hall. This problem has gotten out of hand. 

    Not to shame those of you who don’t flush your poop, but it’s 2023 and we have more important issues to deal with than looking at your unflushed creations. I think I speak for everyone when I say, flush your poo, no one wants to see it! It’s not like we have to pay the water bill, that’s the school’s job (or whoever pays it), so flush that fecal matter!

  • What even is being alive?

    by Emma Wilson

    A constant motion of lovely things

    A constant flow through an endless cycle 

    As a being 

    Being a being with other beings 

    I remember this flow I live through

    And the things that help me feel

    Walking in the forest moves my feet 

    Swimming in the river holds my aching spine

    Climbing up that incline allows me to hear my heartbeat

    Biking down the street makes my breath feel divine 

    Moving through the world reminds me of what is real

    Even through this rough tough world

    I feel as though I can be alive 

    Not alone anymore 

    Even when I remember being so 

    so, so alone

    I know people too understand 

    For I am here

    A being just being real

    Though I am constantly afraid

    I am strong with those standing by my side.

  • Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    Take a man to the barber shop for the first date. 

    by Alana Hackman

    If you were alive in 2016 – which I hope most of you were – you are probably familiar with the meme, “take her swimming on the first date,” in reference to the glam makeup that was trending at the time. Makeup-wearers were showing up to third period Pre-Algebra in Anastasia dip brow, matte semi-permanent liquid lipsticks, false eyelashes and the glitter cut creases.

    Mainly men — young boys I should say — weaponized this sweet and fun makeup against women at the time to birth the meme. It alluded to the idea that if women swam on the first date, their makeup wouldn’t stay on and you would see their bare faces for what they really are. Many used the meme to reference that you could finally see she was actually ugly? I don’t really know. Just another way to criticize nothing but some girly fun! It doesn’t really make much sense either cause the majority of women aren’t hiding behind their makeup. For most, it’s just another method of self expression. 

    Anyways, nearly seven years later from the birth of that insulting meme, I believe it is time for another. In reference to the mullet and mustache madness that has taken Humboldt County and artsy Californian men by storm, I propose we start taking men to barber shops on the first date. 

    Why, you may ask? It’s literally impossible to swipe on any dating app without getting harassed by some man and his sorry excuse for a mullet and ‘70s porn-stache. These days the mullet has been snatched away from the grips of Bowie’s killer androgynous looks and into the dirty (actually, suspiciously clean) hands of trust fund, wanna-be, Ventura County fake cowboys. 

    I miss the days when the mullet was exclusively for lesbians, the nonbinary folks and good old country bumpkins. I don’t wanna see a mullet on you unless you have a long family lineage in Arkansas, or pair it with some array of facial piercings. 

    The mullet and mustache combo being adopted by vintage Carhartt resellers and BMW drivers is not only unrealistic, but also can be qualified as the wig and makeup for most straight men. The combo is used to really sell the whole “working man” look that’s trending for straight guys. When in reality, the most hard labor they’ve done is hash it out with Depop’s buyer support after moving to Humboldt county from the most suburban Bay Area neighborhood ever. 

    Shave that furry lip adornment off and BOOM – top lip is nowhere to be found. All of a sudden, that so-called sexy rugged man you thought you were seeing is back to a Bitcoin-selling Twitch streamer that yells way too aggressively at his mom. 

    What’s a girl gotta do to find a real authentic mullet-wearing straight man these days? The whole liberal cowboy thing is hot, but can only go so far. I’m gonna start asking these mustached men to show me proof of them driving a tractor or a forklift certification if they really wanna get to know me – just so I know they aren’t fakers and actually deserve their mullet and mustache privileges. 

    So ladies, next time that Tinder man with the Pabst Blue Ribbon obsession (bordering on alcoholism), vintage Marlobro hat and mullet/mustache combo asks to take you out on a date to the vintage reseller market, may I recommend the barber shop?

  • The campus parking patrol sucks

    by Brad Butterfield

    I have this old 1978 Mercedes 300d named Cocoa. I spent somewhere around 100 hours over summer repairing her rust-holes and fixing a plethora of engine issues. Cocoa runs pretty well now, and most of the holes are patched – most, but not all. As a result, I’ve been covering her during Humboldt County’s rainy days. Throughout summer and the fall semester, Cocoa has been parked on campus, covered, without issue. She is properly permitted to park on campus.

    Then, on Monday, Nov. 13, along with two parking citations on my RV, Cocoa had a nasty $40 citation taped to her cover. The RV parking tickets list “no use of vehicle for living/overnight” and “beyond designated lines,” as reasons for citation. The comment section of the $53 “overnight” violation reads, “windows covered,” as proof I was occupying the RV overnight. My RV, Tibby, was parked within the designated lines, as shown by the Parking Patrol’s own photos. 

    That’s $173 in parking fines for properly parked and permitted vehicles in two days.

    Monday marked the first morning of the university’s sudden enforcement of the regulation against overnight sleeping in vehicles on campus. Three weeks of meetings with administrators on this issue resulted in more confusion than clarity. I had been told by Lt. Peter Cress of university police that multiple days of probable cause and/or reasonable suspicion proving one’s vehicle was being used for sleeping would have to be established before citation or other disciplinary actions like academic probation, suspension or arrest could be considered. Cress was either misguided, misinformed or purposefully misleading, as nearly every van, bus and RV was cited on the morning of Nov. 13. Even van-dwelling students who had accepted the university’s offer for temporary dorm housing received parking citations. Most of us vehicle dwellers, aware of the university’s attempt to evict us, were not in our vehicles when given citations. We stayed at friends’ houses, on gym floors and in dorms. No attempts were made to discern if the vehicles were actually occupied. The university went ahead with a blanket citation for all potential vehicle dwellers citing ‘windows covered’ as reason for the expensive citations.

    In black sharpie on an old pizza box, I wrote my permit number and placed it on Cocoa’s (covered) windshield so as to avoid further citation on the 14th. Despite this I, again, awoke to a $40 citation on Cocoa taped next to my blatant pizza-box-sign showcasing my permit number. 

    Whether or not I have been targeted for my weeks of advocacy for Cal Poly Humboldt’s homeless students is difficult to prove –  especially with an administration that governs like a closed-off dictatorship. Particularly suspicious are the citations on Cocoa, which had been parked and covered, in the G11 lot adjacent to the Parking Patrol kiosk during most of the fall semester without issue. Regardless, four parking tickets totalling $173 for properly parked and permitted vehicles is ludicrous. 

    After Cocoa’s second citation, I asked Krista Paddock (Transportation & Parking Services) questions to clarify the reasoning behind the citation. Paddock was immediately hostile, wholly unhelpful and displayed a total lack of professionalism and respect.

    I attempted to set up a meeting with Cris Koczera, Director of Risk Management & Safety Services, and Mark Johnson, Chief of Staff, mediated by university Ombuds, Suzanne Pasztor, to discuss parking enforcement and the creation of a safe parking program on campus. Kozcera agreed to the meeting, but Johnson did not.

    “I heard back from Mark Johnson this afternoon.  He is stating that neither he nor Chris Koczera will be meeting with you. He is indicating that the university’s policy on this, and its stance on the options presented is clear. For this reason, he thinks that no constructive discussion is to be had,” Pasztor sent in an email on Monday evening.

    Johnson introduced himself to The Lumberjack team as the “relationship builder,” and said he would commit to being available during a presentation on Sep. 28. So far, every meeting I have attempted to schedule with the grand relationship builder has been ignored, canceled or cut short. 

    Every conversation with parking patrol officers regarding these unjust citations has resulted in them repeating, “You’re welcome to contest the citation online.” Well, that’s not good enough for me. I’ve been wrongly cited four times in two days. I’ve paid to park on campus and should not be cited without just cause.

    Hey Parking Patrol, leave me alone – please!

    Your Friend,

    Brad Butterfield

  • Should we own pets?

    Should we own pets?

    by Griffin Mancuso

    Many of us consider our pets to be our children. And like children, they become a focal point in our lives. Some of us may have social media accounts dedicated to our furry, feathered, or scaly children and our experiences raising them. Some may have shirts or bags proudly declaring our status as pet parents. Some even spend hundreds of dollars a month on toys, gear, and other enrichment for their pet. We make the choice to let a living being into our lives and take care of them, giving us a sense of fulfillment and joy. We would give them the whole world if we could.

    But is the world you’re giving your pet making them happy?

    There are limits to what we can provide our pets. Unfortunately, we are raising our animals in a world made for humans. For dog and cat owners, we cannot let them run free outside without the risk of them getting hurt or ending up in the back of an animal control van. Reptile owners cannot give their pets a perfect replica of the desert or jungle they were meant to live in. Bird owners can’t give their feathered companions the sky to explore and rodent owners have to keep their pets confined to cages and pens for most of the day.

    Does that mean we should trash the collars and cages and set our animals free? Not necessarily.

    The most common household pets like dogs, cats, rabbits, or hamsters are domesticated species and, at the very least, tolerate human interaction. Independent bioethicist and writer Jessica Pierce suggests that dogs and cats in particular may have been active participants in their domestication process. 

    For example, a study headed by psychologist Juliane Kaminski with the University of Portsmouth, UK, found that dogs evolved to have “puppy dog eyes” as a means of communicating with humans. Cats also developed a unique way of communicating with humans—meowing. Cats rarely meow at each other, but rather use it to ask their humans for attention, food, or other needs.

    Having a pet isn’t inherently unethical, but the way in which we love our pets and care for them needs to come from a place of well-researched knowledge and compassion for them.

    Research and reflection is a critical step before adopting a pet. If you want to adopt a pet, do you have the financial means to take care of one? What type of pet will you get? How will you obtain this pet ethically? Are you ready to handle potential physical or mental health issues your pet may experience? Does the type of animal you want live better alone, as a pair, or in a group? How much space will they need? Are you able to take them to the vet regularly? What physical and mental stimulation will this pet need and do I have time to give it to them? If you go out of town, should you hire a pet sitter or board them in a facility?

    Once you have obtained your pet, you are making a commitment to take care of them for their entire life. Now the second-most difficult part of pet ownership begins. Some requirements for pet ownership are objective, like giving them adequate food, water, shelter, and not causing them unnecessary suffering. But like children, everyone raises them differently. 

    There are endless choices of enclosures, gear, food, enrichment, training, and medical decisions to make. You can ask an expert like a veterinarian or trainer for advice or do research on your own time.

    The first and most painful part of owning a pet is the guilt. There will always be someone telling you that you aren’t doing enough, and usually that someone is yourself. You may spend hours researching and hundreds of dollars buying the best food and toys, but the brief rush of dopamine is ever fleeting. 

    I find that spending some quality time with your animal baby helps combat the random surges of panic and guilt—take your dog out on a hike, play with your cat, give your rodent or reptile an extra piece of fruit and give them very gentle pets if they are up for it. If you have a fish, stare lovingly at them through the glass.

    Education is a powerful thing, and by taking the time to learn how to keep your pet fulfilled and happy, you are helping shift the tide in today’s pet industry. Your pet is a responsibility and a living being with feelings and wants, and you need to treat them as such. If you were a couple inches or a couple feet tall, you wouldn’t like being ignored and stuck inside with nothing to do all day. 

    While more people are adopting pets, there is also a greater number of people advocating for responsible pet ownership, and you can be one of them. You may not be able to give your pet the world, but you can get pretty darn close.

  • A woman’s sanctuary is a man’s cave

    by Valen Lambert

    Guys, give a shit about your rooms. I’m looking at you Mr. Floor-mattress who sleeps next to the dirty laundry you throw on your bed. I’m not kidding around. Get a plant, thrift some art, perhaps invest in some fine linen. Us ladies (or whoever) are tired of “going back to your place” and it smells like wet dog and Mountain Dew.

    You’ve ever been in a girl’s room? It’s like entering a church where she worships herself. Candles, incense, the world’s biggest comfiest bed, ambient lighting, art on the walls, succulents, a healthy and thriving monstera. If it’s messy, it’s messy in a cool, hot, sexy way. When a man’s room is messy it’s just gross. A girl will spill a glass of wine on her bed but a guy will straight up vomit on his carpet. 

    Our bedrooms should never be taken for granted. It’s a safe space where we can truly be ourselves and feel at home. It gives us a space to really express ourselves through the way that we decorate it. It takes us out of the homogeneity of society and into the fantasy of ourselves. 

    In it we can display the artifacts of our lives. The mementos from our travels, photographs, notes from our loved ones, anything of emotional significance can go on our walls and remind us of how alive we are. Give it a shot fellas! Embrace your tenderness and sentimentality! Get soft and self-reflective! And then maybe your mess will be as cool, hot and sexy as a lady’s. 

    I will say I’ve been in some vibey ass rooms belonging to men. Not every guy is sleeping on the ground in a fluorescently-lit sensory deprivation chamber. I’ve also been in some whack girls’ rooms. Things aren’t black and white. So honestly no matter who or what you are, give a shit about your room. It’s the only place you get to call your own. Do something about it! Because you won’t be able to decorate your coffin. 

  • Think of the critters

    Think of the critters

    by Jake Hyslop

    Ah, the rainy season is upon us. Despite the odd sunny, muggy day that Humboldt likes to shuffle into the fall and winter seasons like a wild card, it is getting cloudier and more drizzly, slowly but surely. 

    I quite like rainy weather, so I couldn’t be happier in that regard. With an umbrella or other rain gear, the inconvenience can be diminished into an enjoyable aesthetic. Sometimes I be out here just raw dogging the downpour with a T-shirt and shorts. Yes, swampy shoes are the worst, but watching where you step is an easy way to avoid that nightmare. 

    Speaking of watching where you step, that brings me to the point of this ramble. I am not the only creature who thrives in the rain (as are many of you, excluding the rainphobic). Allow me to paint a picture for you. 

    Thousands of students, staff, and faculty traverse campus on foot to some degree, day-in and day-out. They avoid puddles and stroll along the sidewalk to their class or job. Every once in a while, someone hears a crunch or a pop underfoot, but often it’s so small they think nothing of it. Little do they know, the blatant endangerment they are causing.

    Yes dear reader, from the arboreal salamander to the simple snail, and all the slugs, worms, and more in-between, there is an entire ecosystem of creatures that love the rain more than we do. In fact, rain is an outright necessity for these creatures. 

    Snails and slugs rely on moisture to survive, making them extremely active during the rain. All kinds of worms use rainy days to migrate, as above ground is normally too dry for them. Salamanders and frogs migrate and breed in the rain as well. 

    These creatures have no choice but to sometimes venture onto the cold, wet pavement in order to fulfill their quests. But often, too often, they never make it. 

    That’s right. Martha the earthworm travels the equivalent of many human miles in order to meet her lover, Jim, only for her soul to be snuffed by a single checkerboard Adidas slip-on. 

    The worst thing about these literal crimes against nature, is that they are crimes of negligence. It is incredibly easy to not step on and crush a helpless critter. All it takes is a little look down every few steps.

    Unless you have some sort of neck mobility issue, there is no excuse not to look where you’re stepping and avoid crushing a snail into paste. No, they cannot move to a new shell. That is a myth. Snails ride or die for their shell. 

    We cannot blame the critters for getting in the way. After all, there didn’t used to be concrete on their path. We must be better. Next time you’re out on your travels during a particularly damp day, think of the critters and watch where you step.

  • Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    Jasmin’s Corner: Your dream man only exists in your dreams

    by Jasmin Shirazian

    Hi Jasmin,
    I hooked up with my crush of 3 months, who’s my dream-man and I never thought it
    would happen. Afterwards, he told me that he had a recent breakup and he’s only in the space for friendship, but he would still love to see me and hangout… should I play the long game or give it up? (He’s a bass player, tall and sexy and very sweet).

    The long game: what could either be the most enchanting experience of your life, or the
    worst waste of time and energy you’ve ever put into anything. The thing about the long-game is, you’re putting someone on a pedestal that they didn’t ask to be put on. You’re expecting something to come about, rather than allowing it to naturally happen the way the hookup did. Having expectations of people, besides the bare minimum of respect and kindness, is a recipe for disappointment. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but having unfair expectations based on your idealized image of a person isn’t fair to anyone involved. Now, I am in no way shape or form saying you’re not allowed to have hope, or continue to flirt. If anything, the build up of sexual tension that comes with being friends with someone you’ve hooked up with, that you would be down to hookup with again, is exhilarating. That’s why it’s a trope in damn-near every rom-com – it’s sexy, it’s anticipation; everyone loves a slow burn. What I am saying is: don’t base your future around him; don’t avoid other partners for him, don’t keep toxic people around for him, and so on and so forth. You can be friends and touch each other’s body parts, but you can’t expect him to take responsibility for your emotions if you start getting a little too hopeful about your relationship.

    If you think you can separate your feelings and your expectations, then I say stick around and see what happens, but don’t hold your breath unless you’re willing to pass out. If you’re hot enough to bag your momentary dream-man, you’re hot enough to bag the next one,
    too.

    xoxo,
    jasmin

  • Where to get drunk in Arcata

    Where to get drunk in Arcata

    by Valen Lambert

    Arcata is a great place to drink. During these long, dreary winters, what better way to pass the time than to head on over to one of our many local dives and question all your life decisions? Whether you’re newly 21, or simply do not get out much and are seeking some guidance on where to spend your big night out on the town, allow a seasoned bar hopper to show you the way.

    Everett’s

    I had to start at an all-around fan favorite; really just a gem of a dive. It’s a dark, dingey, hedonist’s paradise. Look closely around the taxidermied walls and you’ll always find a new nick-nack or picture (hint: look for the boobs next to the stuffed deer). If you’re lucky enough to order from Robert, you can count on a questionably dirty joke. Beers and cocktails are dummy cheap. Watch out, you’ll come here thinking you’ll stay for one drink and end up hanging out ‘till close, eventually getting kicked out to the curb with the Plazoids. Daytime is when this place really shines though; flies buzz around en masse while Arcata’s day-drunks play a dusty game of pool.

    Graphic by Valen Lambert.

    The Alibi

    Punk bar. Great place to use the bathroom when the lady’s line is too long at Everett’s – also makes a mean bloody mary.

    Dead Reckoning

    Love this bar and its bisexual lighting. Kind of your classic cool hip craft beer joint; they solely spin great vinyl (lots of afro-future and jazz) and have a great tap selection. It’s a huge selection though, and looking at the menu is like scrolling through Netflix trying to pick a movie. Good place for a date, or if you want to get a drink with friends and actually be able to hear each other. The best part is that it’s got a whole mini arcade. Come on Tuesday nights to watch (or join) a bunch of pinball wizards duel it out for the pinball league. 

    The Local Cider Bar

    Best place to get drunk on cider at 5:00 p.m., and a great option for all our gluten-free baddies. Casual, cute, cozy – The Cider Bar is great for autumn vibes. A Slice of Humboldt Pie also shares the building, so after tossing back a couple Blurberrys, you can get a slice of pie or an empanada.

    Richard’s Goat

    Definitely the most vibed out of these joints – stained glass windows and bisexual lighting abound. If you have a hankering to dance, this is the spot. Always live shows and DJs. Yummy cocktails and non-alc options. Plus, probably the best damn karaoke nights (Thursdays and Sundays) this side of the marsh. It’s a total hoot. If you come to sing, you’ll definitely stay for the lady that does opera staccatos in a tutu (you’ll know what I mean). 

    The Pub

    Good place to get drunk and eat dinner. Gentrified, but free pool. 

    The Basement

    Ah, finally, a place of sophistication and class. Or, as some women have put it, a place where they don’t feel preyed on. This newly reopened lounge is a great place to roleplay as someone with good taste. Live music and comedy abound. Expensive drinks so make sure you go with a date who’s gonna pay for them. My only suggestion is, more bisexual lighting.

    The Jam

    Almost forgot to mention this place because I usually avoid it for no good reason except I’m pretentious. A watering hole for local wooks and the occasional biker or metalhead. It’s a great place if you love EDM and getting freaky on the dance floor. Whomp Wednesdays is a classic – it’s exactly what it sounds like. 

    Blondies

    Hands down best spot for local music. Plus, you don’t need to be 21 to get in. Quirky venue with a real DIY bodega sort of vibe, and they sell food. Sunday nights they host the jazz jam, and open mics are every Thursday. Always something going on, so make sure to check their Instagram for events.