By Alba Galvan
If this campus had any more hills or staircases, they would need to hand out climbing gear with our student IDs. Walking around campus – even when you know the best routes to your classes – still feels like pure cardio punishment. So when my phone notifies me I’ve hit 5,000 steps before lunchtime, I just want an elevator to carry me up a few floors to my next class. Instead, what should feel like a break from walking, always feels like a game of “Is this elevator about to give up on me?”
Realistically, I want to believe the school keeps the elevators up to date so we won’t get stuck between floors for a few hours like that student at the Hinarr Hu Moulik dorms last spring semester. The elevators in these new dorms scare me more than any other elevator on campus. After passing the first and second floors, one of the elevators starts making a screeching noise so bad it sounds like my car’s brake pads when they’re down to the bare rotor. The other elevator is always out of order, creating traffic in the early hours as students try to make it down to the first floor for their 9 a.m. classes.
Over at the Jolly Giant Commons, going from the first floor to the fourth is fine. My issue is the elevator that takes you from the fourth to the fifth floor. I take the elevator to avoid sweating and breathing heavily after what feels like 50 flights of stairs. The elevator moves at a painfully slow pace; by the time I get to the top, the students who chose the stairs have already left the area. Then there’s Founders Hall; did you know there was an elevator there? But what’s the point after already hiking up four flights of stairs? It feels like more than half the buildings on campus have hidden routes and elevators; take Gist Hall, for example. I had to look at a map to realize there was one, and trust me, it was very well hidden.
The only elevator on campus that actually works perfectly is at the Business and Social Sciences (BSS) building; it’s smooth, fast and doesn’t make scary screeching noises that make me wonder if I’m going to sue the school for getting stuck in the elevator. But honestly, that’s the bare minimum after having to make your way up a hill that feels like treadmill incline level 12 just to reach the doors.
After hearing people say “you’ll get used to it” for years, I can confirm I have not gotten used to it, navigating this campus to avoid climbing stairs should not be this difficult. BSS has proven that a normal, non-terrifying elevator is possible, so why does every other elevator on campus feel so terrifying? And why must a majority of the elevators on campus be hard to find?
Alba is a reporter and opinion editor for the Lumberjack. She enjoys listening to people’s opinions with an open mind. You can reach her at agg83@humboldt.edu.