by Valen Lambert
Guys, give a shit about your rooms. I’m looking at you Mr. Floor-mattress who sleeps next to the dirty laundry you throw on your bed. I’m not kidding around. Get a plant, thrift some art, perhaps invest in some fine linen. Us ladies (or whoever) are tired of “going back to your place” and it smells like wet dog and Mountain Dew.
You’ve ever been in a girl’s room? It’s like entering a church where she worships herself. Candles, incense, the world’s biggest comfiest bed, ambient lighting, art on the walls, succulents, a healthy and thriving monstera. If it’s messy, it’s messy in a cool, hot, sexy way. When a man’s room is messy it’s just gross. A girl will spill a glass of wine on her bed but a guy will straight up vomit on his carpet.
Our bedrooms should never be taken for granted. It’s a safe space where we can truly be ourselves and feel at home. It gives us a space to really express ourselves through the way that we decorate it. It takes us out of the homogeneity of society and into the fantasy of ourselves.
In it we can display the artifacts of our lives. The mementos from our travels, photographs, notes from our loved ones, anything of emotional significance can go on our walls and remind us of how alive we are. Give it a shot fellas! Embrace your tenderness and sentimentality! Get soft and self-reflective! And then maybe your mess will be as cool, hot and sexy as a lady’s.
I will say I’ve been in some vibey ass rooms belonging to men. Not every guy is sleeping on the ground in a fluorescently-lit sensory deprivation chamber. I’ve also been in some whack girls’ rooms. Things aren’t black and white. So honestly no matter who or what you are, give a shit about your room. It’s the only place you get to call your own. Do something about it! Because you won’t be able to decorate your coffin.