When good movies get nominated for Razzies

By Julia Kelm

Elvira Mistress of the Dark was released in 1988 and directed by James Signorelli. The creation of the movie was a direct reaction to Cassandra Peterson’s successful persona as a horror movie TV host, Elvira. 

The film follows Elvira arriving in the small town of Fallwell, Massachusetts, to claim her inheritance from a great aunt she never knew about. Elvira receives a less-than-enthusiastic reception from the very conservative locals of Fallwell. Amongst these locals is her uncle Vincent, who is probably the most evil villain of all time. In true Kevin Bacon Footloose fashion, Elvira is a helping hand in altering the backward ways of this middle-of-nowhere town.

This movie is hilarious. I’m probably a little biased, as I generally have a soft spot for cheesy 80s films with spooky vibes. There are a lot of visual gags used in the movie, as evident in Elvira herself, and sexual innuendos that’ll make your dad snort. 

Nothing about this movie is too offensively bad. The humor in this movie is perfectly comparable to successful male-led comedies of the era like, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure or Airplane! However, Elvira Mistress of the Dark lead actress Peterson was nominated and won a Golden Raspberry Award for her role as Elvira. 

If you are unaware of the Golden Raspberry Awards, or Razzies for short, it’s a parody award show honoring the worst cinematic failures of the year. However, they have an issue of nominating so-called bad movies that are actually good. 

Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining and Jennifer’s Body were both nominees for the award. Oddly enough, it was Shelley Duvall’s portrayal as Wendy Torrance and Megan Fox as Jennifer who were nominated for worst actress. I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing a trend here.

How come the Razzies seem to be labeling women as being the worst? Scott Meslow, a writer for GQ, shares my suspicions in an article entitled Ignore the Razzies. 

“You can basically divide the Razzies’ most hated movies into three categories: Big mediocre blockbusters, movies starring and targeted at women, and movies made by Tyler Perry,” Meslow wrote. “So the Razzies are, in order: pretty lazy, very sexist, and a little racist.” 

The Razzies have a few good takes, like naming Jared Leto the worst actor for Morbius, but that doesn’t change the fact that it mostly feels like a point-and-laugh fest at films led by women.

So take my advice, and watch Elvira Mistress of the Dark, have yourself a chuckle or two. While you’re at it, skim through some of the other winners and nominees for the Golden Raspberry Awards. I bet you they’re probably at least decent, if not amazing, like The Shining — I seriously can’t believe that was among the nominees. 

This is also a PSA to not listen to film snob critics and film bros who can only name one female director — Greta Gerwig. Watch and talk about movies you like, and you relate to. Life’s too short to only watch Christopher Nolen films.

Julia is a journalism major at Cal Poly Humboldt. She loves film and is a regular on Letterboxd. To quote Robin Williams in her all-time favorite movie, Dead Poets Society, “The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

In some ways, I agree with the four agreements

By Alexandra Berrocal

I am doing this week’s book review on the request of Andres Felix Romero, one of the other journalists on The Lumberjack. He asked me to do a review on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and so I shall.

This book was released in 1997. Ruiz is an author who is popular in New Thought circles. New Thought focuses on ancient teachings as a means of achieving spiritual enlightenment. He is a Mexican author and Toltec Wisdom Master who derives his spiritual texts from Toltec teachings. The main theme of this book is that it shares four agreements you can make with yourself in order to achieve a perfectly happy life. The four agreements are to be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. This is pretty sensible advice. 

However, the author seems to feel the need to dress up his message and sometimes speaks in a way that is vague. To be impeccable with your word may seem simple to put into practice, but the meaning of the word impeccable isn’t always clear. The meaning of “your word” isn’t always clear either, because the author starts talking about emotional poison and black magic, which doesn’t resonate with me. 

The rest of this book makes sense, though. However, it may be a bad idea not to take anything personally. Behind this assumption is the assumption that if you hurt someone and they are hurt by your actions, that’s their problem. That’s not right. People should hold each other accountable for their actions. You shouldn’t just brush it off and say, “Oh, I hurt you? That’s your problem.” Other than these overtones and all of the magical stuff, this was a very good book with very good advice.

However, I do object to the author’s stance on mental illness. He says that psychotic mental illness happens as a result of fear and pain. That isn’t true. Psychosis is a disease of the brain that can be passed down from generation to generation. At least, that has been my experience of mental illness. Assuming the origins of someone’s suffering in this way is very invalidating for people with disabilities of all kinds.   Honestly, Ruiz should stick to talking about basic life issues, and leave discussion of mental illness to the psychiatrists and psychologists. I was — mostly — behind him until he started going on about that. I am a person with mental illness. I do not appreciate that sort of thing at all.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that he promises an end to all of your suffering, just like Byron Katie, another self-help guru. Katie sells four questions. Ruiz sells four agreements. I actually prefer Ruiz’s method to attaining happiness over Katie’s. I mean, I agree a lot with both. I can’t pretend that Katie hasn’t influenced me over the years that I’ve known about her work. However, it kind of drove me crazy after a while so I decided to stop using her method. I could see Ruiz’s method driving me crazy in a similar way, blaming all of my small frustrations on bad “agreements” I have made with myself.

I think people just need to realize that suffering is a part of life, and trying to have a life free from suffering will just make it worse. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try to help yourself if you’re suffering. It’s sad, though. To someone who is really, really suffering, an offer of heaven on earth looks tempting. However, we need to realize it’s not real. Then maybe, just maybe, we can live decent lives while we have them.

Alexandra Berrocal is a journalism major at Cal Poly Humboldt.  She has self published fifteen short books.  In her spare time, she loves to read books and chat with her friends on Discord.  If you enjoy reading their book reviews, or you have a suggestion for a book to read, feel free to email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com

By Mario Orozco

The Dragon Ball franchise has been around since the 80s and is a childhood favorite for many people, including myself. This week’s Mar’s Gaming Garage will be on a brand-new game, Dragon Ball Sparking Zero. Sparking Zero is filled with content, it builds off past games to create something that feels nostalgic yet fresh at the same time. 

One of my favorite aspects of this game is the episode battles. What makes episode battles unique are the branching story paths that create different outcomes in the scenarios. Episode battles allow you to play the story of Dragon Ball through eight different unique perspectives, each with its own branching paths that heavily impact the story. Being able to experience events through different perspectives is a cool feature on its own, but adding in the branching paths adds depth and replayability. 

Battles, both online and offline, are another way that Sparking Zero excels. The game has a massive roster of 182 characters with unique abilities that you can use against others in solo or team battles. I had a blast using some of the sillier character choices in online battles and it made losing to try-hards sting a little less.

The game also offers different tournament styles you can create and play with up to eight players. The tournaments are exciting to compete in and are my favorite part of the multiplayer experience. If you’re not interested in playing against other players, the tournaments can be experienced offline as well. The Yamcha Tournament has some great commentary and is my go-to.

The actual gameplay mechanics of Sparking Zero are fantastic. At first, all of the different combos and defensive mechanics can be a little overwhelming, but once you start to get the hang of them, the game becomes even more enjoyable. The skill gap in this game is quite large, so before you hop into online battles, I would recommend doing some training to get a better grasp of these mechanics.

I want to briefly touch on three honorable mentions from Sparking Zero before I get into my critique. First, custom battles are hilarious. They allow you to create your own custom scenarios that can be as tame or unhinged as your heart desires. Second, you can summon any of the three eternal dragons from the series to grant your wishes which provides an awesome visual. Finally, the encyclopedia allows you to view each character on the roster and listen to the main characters’ wives gossip about them, which are entertaining to listen to.

I only have one complaint for Sparking Zero — it doesn’t allow for crossplay. To me, this is ridiculous. How does an online multiplayer game released in 2024 not have crossplay? If indie games can handle it, then Sparking Zero can handle it. Despite this injustice, I recognize this isn’t a necessity for everyone and it doesn’t have a significant impact on my overall rating.

Overall, Dragon Ball Sparking Zero was a blast to play. I have a total of 37 hours put into this game and it took me 32 hours to complete every branching path for each character in the episode battles. I rate Sparking Zero a 4.9 out of 5. If the game was crossplay, it could’ve been my first 5, but that will have to wait for now. If you’re a fan of Dragon Ball or just want an engaging fighting game, then I highly recommend this game for you.

If you have any games you would like me to review or any thoughts on this review, you can email marsgaminggarage@gmail.com.

Mario Orozco is a writer and assistant social media editor for The Lumberjack. He transferred to Cal Poly Humboldt in 2022 and his favorite game of all time is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

By Noah Pond

Thursday, Oct. 17, the Van Duzer was packed to the gills with sweaty college students, swaying adults, and more Raiders gear than I have ever seen in Humboldt. Nearly no one sat in the theater’s seats as they all had pushed to the front, creating a wall of anticipating HYPHY enjoyers ready for Bay Area Legend E-40. It was 9 p.m.. 

The first DJ was coming to the end of their set as I got there. People took the time between sets to go get a drink from the concessions bar or smoke something outside. I decided to go up to the balcony to scope out a better view of the stage. 

Next, DJ Sovern-T from Honolulu came on to take the crowd through a history of hip-hop by way of the tracks he played. He reminded the crowd that hip-hop came from Africa before going into a rhythm and bass track. Around 10:30 p.m., Sovern-T started asking the crowd if they were ready for E-40. The crowd erupted in cheers for the Bay Area rapper.

He asked the crowd the same question every 15 minutes for the next hour. I talked to four dudes who said they were just gonna leave if E-40 didn’t come out soon — I didn’t see them again after that. 

It was 11:30 pm by the time E-40 showed up. The crowd had been waiting for two and a half hours so, naturally, they went insane when he came out. He played his classics like U and Dat, My Shit Bang, and even Lil Jon’s Snap Yo Fingers. 

When the beat came on for his 2014 classic, Choices (Yup), the crowd was on time with the, “YUP. NOPE. YUP. NOPE.” 

I was still up on the balcony and people had started lighting blunts and joints as Choices played. I’ve really never seen the Van Duzer so lit, bro. 

E-40 took some time to address the crowd after he played Choices to say thanks for coming out and how he’s thankful our generation is still bumping his stuff. He compared us to his generation in the way that we still listen to the music our parents showed us. I thought he was being kind of sweet and sentimental. 

Before I could relish in the moment too long, he started playing his top song and biggest feature, “I Don’t Fuck With You.” Immediately, the crowd was with him. 

“I don’t fuck with you! You lil’ stupid ass bitch, I ain’t fuckin’ with you. You lil’ dumb ass bitch, I ain’t fuckin with you. I got a million trillion things I’d rather fuckin’ do, than to be fuckin’ with you,” the crowd screamed. 

Just as soon as he came on, it seemed as though he was leaving. It was 12:10 p.m.. The night seemed like a blur; I don’t know if it was the 800-seat hotbox in the Van Duzer or the hours of built-up sweat waiting for E-40 to come out, but I had a blast. It’s cool that Cal Poly Humboldt is getting more pull in the artists they invite and the Van Duzer theater is seeing maximum litness. 

Noah Pond is a Junior at Cal Poly Humboldt and a reporter and opinion editor for the Lumberjack. During his free time he enjoys cold beer and his skateboard.

By Alexandra Berrocal

A Like The Flowers, B Like The Ocean is a children’s book by Sarah Godlin that was published in 2023. She is a local author and this book can be found in the Authors’ Hall of the school library, where many local authors can be found. She is also an alumna from Cal Poly Humboldt, coming from the English department, and was illustrated by Kylee Conriquez, another Humboldt local. They studied studio art with a concentration in painting at Cal Poly Humboldt.

Godlin has something called synesthesia, which is when two of your senses sort of mesh. People with synesthesia might see numbers and letters as colors. They might feel certain sounds. When they taste food, they may see shapes, and so on. This book is about a young girl with synesthesia entering school for the first time. She is upset because her teacher is teaching about numbers and letters all wrong, with no attention to what colors the numbers and letters are, which causes her great distress. She then sees a doctor — a child psychologist to be exact — and this person evaluates her and explains that she has synesthesia. She also explains to the young girl that other people can’t see the colors that she can. This alleviates a lot of the girl’s distress. The book pretty much ends there, on a happy note, with her realizing she has a special gift and she is accepted by her classmates.

One of my high school besties, Jason, has synesthesia. I am not sure exactly how his synesthesia works, but I know that he often sees numbers and letters as colors. I am not sure if that extends to all sounds he hears. The funny thing is, it never affected our relationship one way or the other. Jason and I met as children.

He once told me that he saw a certain number as a really pretty royal blue. He also said that seeing letters and numbers as colors is an everyday thing for him, that it was nothing special. I didn’t treat him differently when I found out about that, for better or for worse. I didn’t think much of it. However, I do think that his world must be very interesting in a way that mine isn’t. On the other hand, I’ve experienced autism. Sometimes, when I tell people about that, they ask me what it’s like to have autism. I am always tempted to ask what it’s like to be neurotypical. Autism is as normal to me, and synesthesia normal to him, as being neurotypical is to… well… neurotypical people.

I guess we all have superpowers.

Alexandra Berrocal is a self-published author who has written fifteen books. She likes to crochet and draw, as well as read and write. She is from Orange County.  They are a journalism major at Cal Poly Humboldt. They like dogs, and they sing alto in a choir. If you have an idea for a book she could review, email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com.

By Julia Kelm

It was a hot 69 degrees in Blue Lake, just under 10 miles from Cal Poly Humboldt’s campus. Large crowds formed, chuckling and grinning, dressed in an assortment of medieval and fantastical garb. 

The people were scattered all across the event space, which was decorated to look like we were transported back to the Dark Ages. 

I traversed this new open land with my camera strapped to my hip and a cider in hand. Even with the sun beating down on me, I had a very pleasant afternoon at this fair. 

There were many events for me to witness and be impressed by — and impressed I was! The fair truly had a performance for every type of person. 

I was able to witness the Knights of Valour and their full-contact jousting tournament, which was as remarkable as it looked dangerous. At one point, both of the knights were knocked onto their backs and were helped up. 

Don’t like horses? Maybe you would prefer to bang your head to the epic sound of Celtica Nova, a Scottish rock group with flaming bagpipes. 

Too hot? Then explore the many vendors selling all types of jewelry, crafts, and goods. Then grab yourself a pint of beer, cider, mead, or some lavender lemonade to wash down some skewered dragon meat (tri-tip on a stick) to finish off the day.

However you prefer to spend your time, the Medieval Festival of Courage has a lot to offer.

According to the Medieval Festival of Courage’s official website, proceeds collected go to support local schools and nonprofits to raise money for educational programs. Tickets to this event were $10 for adults and $5 for children. The event dates were held on Oct. 5 and 6, from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m.

If you missed this festival, no worries. The event is held annually, so you can gallivant with some fair lords and ladies next year!

The rich history beneath the rainbow flag

By Alexandra Berrocal

The American LGBTQ Rights Movement: An Introduction was written by Kyle Morgan and Meg Rodriguez. Morgan is a librarian at Cal Poly Humboldt. Rodriguez spent many years as an AIDS researcher. It is impossible to know exactly when this book was written, because it isn’t copyrighted. However, it was definitely written after 2016 because it mentions Pete Buttigieg as a historical figure. 

This book is mainly about the history of the LGBTQ+ movement in America, from Stonewall to other lesser-known events. This book is shorter than some other books out there on the subject — but boy, is it dense. There is a lot of information packed into this book and reads more like a textbook than it does an ordinary book. This is the sort of book that you would be expected to be assigned in your average women’s studies or critical race theory class, which isn’t a bad thing. However, it does mean that there is a lot to take in at once.

The book is very much written like a story. The famous people, like Marsha P. Johnson, who is famous for instigating the Stonewall riots, which were the beginning of the modern Pride movement, are given blurbs on the side. There are so many blurbs in this book that I have trouble remembering them all. However, the photos are excellent. Each photo portrays the person tastefully, and not in a demeaning light in the least.

They even talk about lesser-known figures, like Dr. Harry Benjamin. Benjamin was one of the first doctors to treat transgender people and assisted them in getting medical help. This took the form of helping them change their bodies, and getting them social and legal support. He also published a book called Transgender Phenomenon. He retired in the 1970s.

The book also mentions Bayard Rustin, who was the person who schooled Martin Luther King Jr. on Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolence. He organized the March on Washington, where King gave his famous I Have a Dream speech. However, he was forced out of the civil rights movement because he was an openly gay man in a time when that wasn’t as accepted as it is today.

Consider reading this book multiple times. If you really want to learn from it, I suggest you take notes. I personally was dismayed at the lack of asexual representation in this book, as this book was written fairly recently. There is a fair amount of awareness of asexuality within the modern LGBTQ+ movement. Yes, I know that there hasn’t been a distinct movement for very long; they were considered bisexual for many years, until the Internet came around. I wish that there had been more on this dynamic. 

As it is, this book is great, but it isn’t all-inclusive. However, if you are looking for a book on LGBTQ+ history from 1900 to now, you could do worse than this book. For something that reads like a textbook, is pretty dense, and isn’t inclusive of asexuals as part of the LGBTQ+ movement, this is a pretty good book.

Alexandra Berrocal is a self-published author who has written fifteen books. She likes to crochet and draw, as well as read and write. She is from Orange County. They like dogs, and they sing alto in Humboldt Chorale. If you have an idea for a book she could review, email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com.

By, Gabriel Zucker

As each piece of clothing was taken off, the crowd cheered louder and louder in approval. Crumpled dollar bills were thrown at the stage from all angles. The glitter of rhinestones glittered as a skirt was thrown into the crowd. This was a night of self expression and art colliding on stage to a rapt audience.

According to Olivia Gambino, a local burlesque performer, burlesque is a form of adult entertainment that not only celebrates sexuality but also makes a satire of it.

“Burlesque is an art form that is inherently comical in its very performance. It is meant to delight, entice, entertain, but ultimately take the audience to a place where they can enjoy something sexy without pressure and anxiety,” Gambino said. “Neo-burlesque is defined by its choice of modern music and fashion. Furthermore, it incorporates more modern dance moves and contemporary reveals.”

On Friday, Sept. 27, new neo-burlesque group Renegade Revue held their second-ever performance, College Night, at the Siren’s Song Tavern in Old Town Eureka. After the audience filled the bar to the brim, they put on a show that had the crowd screaming and cheering all night. 

This was very different from their first performance at Crisp Lounge, where the crowd was sparse. The expectations going into the second show were not high, but to the surprise and joy of the production team and artists, people were still showing up during the second half of the show. Lotties Deluscious, one of the founders of Renegade Revue, was overwhelmed with the love and support she received during the show.

“We chose Siren’s Song as a location because it’s great in Old Town,” Deluscious said. “They’ve been nothing but supportive and they always have events here. And again, just having people come in, some people just like to go there anyway. I’m really excited about the turnout that we had and the huge support from the different artists, because they also brought in a lot of people too. It’s a great community.”

Renegade Revue started with an idea of community and teamwork. It is a collective of different burlesque artists, who have all come from different walks of life. They wanted to create something unique and special together.

“Renegade Revue started off with four girls who loved burlesque and decided that we wanted to come together and do it connected,” said Tinytr2ntup, an artist and producer for the show. “So instead of having one person be in charge and have a president, we all collectively decide who does this project, who can help with this. How we can help each other as a team, instead of being a hierarchy.”

Every artist who performed for College Night had a different story to tell. Each performance was unique and told something different. Napoleon Dynamite came alive when Dixon Lips came out dressed in a Vote 4 Pedro shirt and a curly wig, before throwing off the outfit to the joy of everyone in attendance. Felix Flex, another local artist, drank from a bottle of alcohol in the middle of their set. Baby Fontaine came out dressed as an old meager librarian before stripping down revealing the freak hidden underneath. Tinytr2ntup brought inspiration from a childhood photo with a close friend and the film Not Another Teen Movie, bringing these very different ideas into a beautiful choreographed dance. Each artist prepped individually for their own performance, using Renegade Revue for support if they needed anything.

“That’s the cool thing about burlesque, you are your own producer, choreographer, costume maker, [and] marketing team, so you’re always learning,” Tinytr2ntup said.

On top of setting up shows and rehearsing performances, Renegade Revue also needs to fundraise to make sure that they can pay the artists and put on a complete show. They try to meet up weekly, running ideas between each other in regards to finances, fundraising, and to check in if everyone needs help. They also plan meet-ups so all the girls can get to know each other on a more personal level. Recently, they ran a sensual flow dance class and are preparing for a Sex Toy 101 class in partnership with Peaches and Pearls.

For a lot of these artists, burlesque is just one of many performances and shows they do. Deluscious used to be in a local fire dancing troupe, and hopes to perform at different shows and festivals out of town. Tiny has been a dancer for most of her life, and is working on getting a masters in dance. She first stepped into burlesque in college, and when she moved to Humboldt County, she joined a burlesque boot camp, and the rest was history.

Gambino was also the MC for College Night. Unlike other artists, she uses her legal name. 

“I realized I did not need to make a distinction between my private life and stage life,” Gambino said. “I enjoy the holistic experience of being OG 24/7.” 

This was only her third time performing as an MC and it was very different from what she was used to. Trying to come up with the jokes was a journey in self-discovery.

“For some reason, I thought I was going to be very classy, very demure,” Gambino said. “But it turns out, I love dick and fart joke island a little too much. So, my jokes can be a little off color and a little raunchy, but I think it loosens up the crowd. Now that I’m older, I don’t look back at my cringe moments and let them consume my life.”

One thing all of these artists have in common is their shared love of performance and self love. Gambino emphasized the collaboration and reciprocity between the artist and the audience. Deluscious fell in love with burlesque because of the confidence it gives her.

“I’ve had a lot of body image issues, and so with burlesque, you kind of can’t really hide from your body, and so it’s given me a lot of empowerment and trust in my body,” Deluscious said. “It’s been really affirming as an artist and as a creative to be like, ‘Oh, I’m making the art. I’m sharing this art, and people actually like and appreciate this art that I’m sharing.’”

Renegade Revue is preparing for their next show, Kinktober, on October 18th at Siren’s Song. Their instagram is @renegaderevue, where they regularly update their followers on what projects they are working on.

Gabriel Zucker is a senior journalism student at Cal Poly Humboldt. He is the photo editor for The Lumberjack. He loves photojournalism and wants to use his platform as a journalist to give a voice to the voiceless.

By Alexandra Berrocal

I have always had an interest in end-of-life related things. A close friend of mine died when I was seventeen years old. She was no ordinary friend. I had been planning on moving in with her. So, having said that, I don’t know when my interest in end-of-life related things began. It could have begun with that thick book in my grandma’s house that was called How We Die, by Sherwin B. Nuland. 

I also tend not to get overly upset when people around me die. I got upset when my friend died, but when other people around me have died, I haven’t been as upset. My therapist says this is because of my autism, and that a lot of people with autism are this way. That being said, I am not sure I am any better with mortality than anyone else, in terms of knowing what to say to a dying person and things like that. To be exact, my therapist said I am friendly with death. I feel this is pretty apt.

Final Conversations: Helping The Living And The Dying Talk To Each Other, published in 2007, was written by Maureen P. Keeley and Julie M. Yingling. Keeley is an associate professor at Texas State University and has taught college students for 20 years. Yingling is a retired professor emerita at Cal Poly Humboldt. During her 25 years as a professor, she specialized in communication.

Final Conversations is a book about how to communicate with people who are on their deathbed. It especially focuses on final conversations as something that can be positive both for the dying and for the people they leave behind. It doesn’t sugarcoat the difficult aspects, but it also gives helpful suggestions on why you should still try to communicate with a dying parent even if your relationship in life wasn’t that great. 

What I took away from the book is that life is precious and that you should nurture your close relationships while you can. There was a big emphasis on family in this book, which I can relate to because I’ve had rough periods with my family, as much as I love them. 

Spouses were also heavily featured, because most people in our society marry. Interestingly enough, a lot of spouses want their surviving spouse to remarry — this is something I didn’t expect. You don’t see this in other relationships. But then again, other relationships can’t be replaced. On the other hand, you can replace a spouse to a degree. You can’t replace the person, but you can replace the role. I am not sure if I see myself with a spouse in the future, but you never know. 

The perspectives of children whose relatives have passed were also featured in this book. That was refreshing. Their viewpoints were treated with respect, too, instead of condescension. I feel that children are often not treated with respect in our culture. When a kid says something, they are not taken seriously. Adults make decisions for them, often without their input, which can be justified. However, in this book, children are given a remarkable amount of airtime, comparable to adults.

I relate to this book. My biological father died roughly around the end of 2020. One of the saddest things about his death, from my point of view, was that he couldn’t go to the beach in his final days because of COVID-19 restrictions in his country. My dad is from Colombia. I am not against COVID-19 restrictions, however it did make my dad’s death sadder. 

I did get to have a final conversation with my dad, though. Before the COVID-19 pandemic started, he came to this country to visit my mom. I have never had the best relationship with my dad, so it was a difficult time. However, one time we went out to one of my favorite restaurants. I have bipolar disorder and, unfortunately, I was depressed that day. When my mom told my dad how I was feeling, he started crying. She told me later that he wished he could have been the sort of father I needed at that moment. 

Some time passed. That evening, he was standing in the kitchen. I just sort of looked at him, and said, “I don’t think I’ve been a very good daughter.”

He said, “No, you’re nice.”

We hugged, and that was my final conversation with my Dad. So, when we did fly to Colombia to say our official goodbyes, I wasn’t too bent out of shape when my mom got the text that my dad had died the moment our plane hit the ground. My mom was destroyed, but I had already said my goodbye. So, for me, I was okay. I still have no regrets. It’s these sorts of conversations that Keeley and Yingling promote in Final Conversations, and I agree with them. I think everyone deserves that sort of closure.

Cal Poly Humboldt alumni and faculty slam the competition in derby

By Maranda Vargas

The Redwood Acres Fairgrounds buzzed with energy as the Humboldt Roller Derby League practiced for the Fall Brawl. The sound of skates clinking and rumbling on the smooth concrete floor echoed through the building while the team methodically zoomed around the track, suddenly screeching to a halt as they practiced braking and maneuvering. 

The Humboldt Roller Derby (HRD) is a flat-track roller derby competitive sports team founded in 2007. The league is composed of two teams that compete against other leagues and also operates a training camp for new skaters. There’s two different levels, level one and level two. The level one training camp is for beginner skaters needing to work on basic skills. Those in the level two training build upon maneuvering skills and stops needed to play derby competitively. The league provides a safe and empowering space for women and gender-expansive athletes and offers camaraderie, athleticism, and personal growth. 

On Saturday, Sept. 21, roller derby fans came out in full force for the doubleheader where they will go head to head against Southern Oregon and Monterey Bay Derby to cheer on the team. The crowd excitedly cheered for the skaters who have derby names, like Daddy Long Legs, Furious George, Slam Chowder, and Latinx Turner. 

The athletes seamlessly worked together to apply strategy along with brute force to weave past a barricade of bodies. Beyond the fierce, competitive nature of the full-contact sport lies a tight-knit community that provides each other with unwavering support, empowerment, and a sense of belonging. A group of Cal Poly Humboldt students and graduates united by their passion for the sport are making their mark on the derby track.

Cal Poly Humboldt Film Professor Michelle Cartier initially discovered Humboldt Roller Derby in 2009, while in post graduate school and working on a documentary about the sport. The documentary never came to fruition, however the encounter quickly evolved from working the camera at games to competing at a high level and coaching the team. 

“So, here I was, doing video, but then finally got on skates and started figuring it out myself,” Cartier said. “It was a wild experience. I had skateboarded all my life, but doing quad skates? That was a totally different learning of balance.”

Life quickly became a mixture of derby, finishing up grad school and beginning a career as a teacher, all at once. Cartier, whose derby name is Atreyu, became immersed in the sport. Within a few years, they were traveling with the team and playing at the higher level. 

“I’m a big fan of tenacity, so in terms of learning and getting to make things as an artist, as a filmmaker, then being on the track to use my body is just a nice collision of alignment,” Cartier said.

The name Atreyu was Cartier’s chosen derby name, however the name quickly became Tre to their fans. Now that Cartier was traveling to competitions with the team, an opportunity arose — they joined the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association broadcasting team and were flown to cover events around the world.

“We were reaching this peak of our league, and really, kind of, for a small town league, getting to compete with some higher end teams all over the world,” Cartier said. “And then, covid hit, and that was kind of like, ‘whoa, crash and burn.’ We’d like, built up. But it was fun; it was a fun ride.”

Humboldt County district supervisor Natalie Arroyo, who goes by Brawn Luc Picard in derby, is adjunct faculty teaching Environmental conflict resolution at Cal Poly Humboldt. 

“I love the physical activity, and the chance to come here and sweat, have some high octane fun with all of my friends,” Arroyo said. “It’s really nice when we have the rainy season and it’s cold to come indoors and skate with my friends. That is a huge part that I love.” 

Cassandra Johnson, known as Slam Chowder, a blocker and pivot in the roller derby league, has been an active member of the league for five years and graduated from Cal Poly Humboldt with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in English. 

“HRD is such a big part of my life,” Johnson said. “I’m the PR coordinator, so I do a lot of the social media. I feel like it’s super enriching. A lot of my best friends play roller derby. I have never felt tougher, which is not something that I think I was used to growing up, so it’s just a wonderful opportunity.”

Linette Cortes-Lorenzo, aka Latinx Turner, a cultural resources professional at Cal Poly Humboldt, discovered a second family in the Humboldt Roller Derby league. Cortes-Lorenzo has a BA in Anthropology and has helped with a roller derby ethnography, studying the subculture of HRD — one of the more long-standing subcultures in Humboldt. Cortes-Lorenzo said the sport has not only provided a physical outlet, but has also helped her forge deep, lasting connections with her teammates over the years.

“There’s not a ton of bonding outside of Derby,” Cortes-Lorenzo said. “The short moments that we do have here are just precious, and they’re unforgettable. You take them home with you on the car ride home, because you’re like, ‘How did I do?’ you know? You go through a lot mentally when you play a sport and you just want to, and hope, that you do good, because the people that you love are on the team.”

Maranda Vargas is a senior at Cal Poly Humboldt majoring in journalism with a minor in film production. She is a visual storyteller with a passion for covering stories on lifestyle, the arts and nature.

By Alexandra Berrocal

Watercolor can be very hard to control. For that reason, it is considered a challenging medium by most artists. It is also considered by some to be illegitimate. While there has been a lot of impressionist art done in oil and acrylic, there hasn’t been a lot of impressionist art done in watercolor. I am not sure why this is, but then again, I am not a formal artist and have never been one. 

I read the book Painting the Impressionist Watercolor by Lee Boynton and Linda Gottlieb. It was published in 2004. Lee Boynton is known for his impressive body of work regarding Impressionism in watercolor. This book is co-authored with one of his students, Linda Gottlieb. This book aims to teach you how to paint authentic Impressionist paintings in watercolor. This is done by guiding you through buying the right tools — that is, paints, brushes, palettes, and paper — that will enable you to get the job done. Boynton starts by having you paint blocks, and then you gradually work your way up to still lifes. I find it interesting that Boynton never has you do a portrait, because portraits are very demanding and difficult. I also find it interesting that he has you paint in a very specific manner. But, then again, the goal is to paint like him, so this shouldn’t be a surprise.  

  I initially picked up this book because I was charmed by the author’s artistic style. I was hoping that reading it and maybe doing some of his exercises would make me a better artist. However, I was disappointed.

I think that this is a very good book, but it’s definitely not for beginners. This book is also not for people who prefer to work with pans, which are shallow dishes of paint you find in most craft stores. Lee Boynton clearly prefers to work with tubes and this book advises you to work with such, which are more like acrylic and oil paints and require more preparation.

Tubes are not bad. If you prefer to work that way, more power to you. However, during the times I have dabbled with watercolors, I have always preferred to work with pans. Therefore, I can’t really use this book. This book also requires specific colors from specific brands in tubes. As someone who doesn’t like to work with tubes, this leaves me high and dry. 

That said, if you are willing to buy and work with tubes, as well as everything that this artist wishes you to buy in order to follow his regimen, you will become somewhat of a real Impressionist painter. I came away with a much better understanding of Impressionism than when I began. Impressionism is a school of art that is about portraying light. I never really understood that before reading his book, but now I do.

Last semester, when there were therapy animals in the school library, I brought my small pan of watercolor paints to the scene so that I could paint a picture of one of the dogs, Garbo. It wasn’t meant to be a study of light, like most impressionism is. It was my interpretation of something I thought was cool and interesting, or rather someone I thought was cool and interesting.

I have taken my pan to the library quite a few times, because last year I didn’t always feel like painting in my dorm. I don’t paint as much these days. Nowadays, I prefer to draw more, especially with pen and ink. You can’t do that as much with tubes. With tubes, you still need a palette and an easel and all that. That doesn’t appeal to me nearly as much. I enjoy the minimalism involved in putting a pan, a sketchpad, a bottle of water, and a pencil and pen in my pack and going to the library to paint there.

If you are a beginner to art in general, there are three books I recommend for you. I recommend What Adults Don’t Know About Art: Inspiring young minds to love and enjoy art by The School of Life, Urban Watercolor Sketching: A Guide to Drawing, Painting, and Storytelling in Color by Felix Scheinberger, and Draw Your World: How to Sketch and Paint Your Remarkable Life by Samantha Dion Baker. With those three books, you can’t go wrong. I don’t recommend Painting the Impressionist Watercolor, unless you are already good at drawing, are dedicated to Impressionism, and/or are willing to work with tubes.

What Adults Don’t Know About Art was written for children with special needs. However, it is the best book about art appreciation that I have ever read and I wholeheartedly recommend it. I recommend Urban Watercolor Sketching for anyone who wants to get into watercolor. It is appropriate for all skill levels. I have reread this book countless times, and every time I read it I feel like I have more to learn. Scheinberger presents tough concepts, in an accessible way. Even if you don’t initially understand everything, you still go away feeling like you can paint. 

I also prefer Scheinberger’s approach to art over the emphasis on light in Painting the Impressionist Watercolor. Scheinberger’s approach resonates more with me. I don’t care about portraying light when I do art.  I care about portraying people and places that I love, that are dear to me, or that I just find interesting.  This is Scheinberger’s approach as well, although he does emphasize “the light” somewhat. As for Draw Your World, that isn’t necessarily a book I would read multiple times. However, I enjoy her approach to art as well. I also feel anyone can benefit from her exercises. So, paint on!

By Noah Pond

Cal Poly Humboldt is implementing a new student-to-student on-campus food delivery program. The university has partnered up with a company called BYPPO Campus. BYPPO’s website states that they are powered by students for students.

The program is similar to DoorDash. It will allow students to order food on the BYPPO Campus app, then campus restaurants/vendors will fulfill their orders. Lastly, students—referred to as delivery heroes—bring the food either to students’ dorms or to one of over 30 campus hotspots.

Aug. 26 was the Fall 2024 launch with BigFoot Burger as the only vendor currently available on the app. Soon, The Depot, The Cupboard, and College Creek Marketplace will all be available for delivery. 

John Shermer, Director of Marketing of Humboldt Dining, seemed to be very excited about the new app.

“Humboldt Dining is thrilled to launch the new BYPPO Campus student-to-student food delivery service at Cal Poly Humboldt! Students can become food delivery runners, earning extra income while enhancing the campus dining experience,” Shermer said on the BYPPO Campus website. 

Lonely Quiet Highway and The Great Failure

By Alexandra Berrocal

Natalie Goldberg woke up at 5 a.m. to go to the zendo, a Japanese meditation hall.  She described waking up in the biting cold and walking in the freezing snow; the wind, the cold, how punishing a routine this was to engage in before going to work, school, or wherever she needed to go. It mirrored how demanding Zen Buddhism—a Japanese sect of Buddhism that emphasizes meditation—could be to follow. This was especially true during practice sessions, where a person would go to the zendo to meditate more often than usual—both in the early morning and late into the afternoon and night. Zen may have a reputation for serenity, but it is not a faith for wussies.

Goldberg wrote about the experience of being a Zen Buddhist with a Jewish background in America in her book, Long Quiet Highway: Waking Up in America.  She further explores these themes in The Great Faliure her sequel to Long Quiet Highway.

Natalie explores how she dealt with death compared how her husband dealt with the loss of his parent. At one point, she wrote that while her husband was at the deathbed of his parent, she was at the zendo extolling impermanence. It was her way of running from the problem. She doesn’t go into greater detail about this, but the little she does say is very intriguing and sad.

Long Quiet Highway is also about Goldberg’s relationship with Katagiri Roshi, her beloved Zen teacher, but it places him in a far more idealized role. In that book, Katagiri taught her a lot about life in general. However, I think The Great Failure is a lot more interesting. The quality of the writing is lacking — some of the writing feels like it belongs in a journal, not a memoir, especially the parts where Goldberg is speaking to Roshi. However, the themes it tackles are far more meaningful — at least to me. It talks about how lonely it can be to be a spiritual leader.

Goldberg says that she never loved any man as much as she loved Katagiri Roshi. I found this very moving. Goldberg is married for a good portion of Long Quiet Highway, and Roshi is also married for the entire time he knew her. For most of both books, Roshi respected Goldberg’s marrige, and he even gave her good advice after she fought with her husband. 

He adivses her to be quiet and really think carefully before she says anything in a heated moment and to not speak rashly. Unfortunately, she doesn’t follow that advice, and her marriage ends in divorce. She comes to understand the significance of his advice quite some time later.

Ultimately, Long Quiet Highway and The Great Failure is a love story between Goldberg and Roshi. It is profound because by the end of both books, she doesn’t have any illusions about Roshi anymore. However, she loves him just as much. If you’re seeking a somewhat unconventional story of the love that can exist between a person and their spiritual teacher, look no further, this is the story. 

Alexandra Berrocal is a self-published author who has written fifteen books. She likes to crochet and draw, as well as read and write. She is from Orange County. They like dogs, and they sing alto in a choir. If you have an idea for a book she could review, email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com.

By Julia Kern