By Savana Robinson
On the evening of Tuesday, Jan. 7, Abby Miles opened the door to her family home in Altadena and saw the hillside on fire, flames quickly moving toward her. Miles screamed for her dad, then ran to help neighbors before grabbing some belongings and bags she had already packed for her return to Humboldt. By the time her family had their dogs and most cherished belongings in the car, the sky was bright red and ash was falling.
“It was honestly a lot of running around and panicking,” Miles said. “What do you do when you open your front door and the whole mountain is on fire behind you?”
The Eaton Fire started not far from Miles’ house. On Jan. 21, it was 89% contained, having burned 14,021 acres and destroyed 9,418 structures. Miles is a senior child development major at Cal Poly Humboldt.
“The fire started in Eaton Canyon, which is right off of Altadena Drive,” Miles said. “And my house is two blocks over from Altadena Drive.”
Miles and her family evacuated and went to several loved ones’ houses in the following days.
Earlier that day, Charlotte Kuhner had to evacuate her home in the Pacific Palisades but found deadlocked traffic when she reached Sunset Boulevard. After taking 30 minutes to move 20 feet, Kuhner made it onto the Pacific Coast Highway before her neighbor, stuck further up Palisades Drive, was told by a police officer to abandon their car and run because the flames were so close, which he did. Later, Kuhner watched reports on KTLA5 of cars being bulldozed to give the firefighters passage up Palisades Drive.
That evening, Kuhner was at an Airbnb with seven loved ones who had all been displaced by the fire. Two days later, Kuhner found out that her family’s home was okay after her dad and brother went on foot to confirm that it was still standing. Most of the houses on Kuhner’s street survived, but two streets up, including a home she used to live in, everything had burned to rubble.
Kuhner is a senior accounting major at Cal Poly Humboldt.
“There’s homes still smoldering and burning and one house will be perfectly fine, and then the next eight [will be] completely destroyed,” Kuhner said. “It’s insane to see. It’s so devastating.”
Kuhner, appreciative of the survival of her family home, mourned for her neighbors and those around her who were not as fortunate.
“Me and a few people I know whose houses did survive are feeling crazy survivors’ guilt,” Kuhner said. “Our entire community is gone, but our house is still there. But what do you do after that? No one’s around.”
As of Jan. 21, the Palisades Fire was 65% contained at 23,448 acres burned and 6,528 structures gone.
Cal Poly Humboldt Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) Chair, Jacqueline Mayrand, explained the causes of survivor’s guilt and natural disaster-related trauma and what those experiencing it can do to cope.
“Survivor’s guilt basically occurs in the aftermath of a traumatic event that affected a group of people and some may compare their experiences to those of others who were less fortunate during the event, which can lead to feelings of guilt,” Mayrand wrote in an email.
Mayrand offered advice for those experiencing negative feelings in the aftermath of traumatic events.
“I think talking to people who have been in similar experiences [is helpful], finding the support through friends, loved ones, co-workers who are willing to have these conversations, making sense of [it] with others,” Mayrand said.
Miles’ uncle is a firefighter who grew up in Pasadena and Altadena and has fought the Eaton Fire since the day the fire broke out.
“He actually has been staying at my house with his crew members because so many firefighters came from other places, and so many people were displaced from their homes,” Miles said. “He just texted my dad. He was like, ‘can we sleep on your couch?’ And so now, there’s five firemen just chilling in my house in the dark whenever they need somewhere to sleep, which is funny to think about, but also it feels really good knowing that there are people who are dedicated to this neighborhood.”
Miles’ uncle was emotionally affected by the devastation caused by the fire, exacerbated by a lack of water.
“He was just saying how he’s never felt like he’s been letting people down more,” Miles said. “His family home is a couple blocks down from my house, so it was really close to the fires. He just sounded so heartbroken.”
The National Guard is blocking entry to both the Pacific Palisades and Altadena to prevent looting. Only some people with proof of residence and valid reason to enter were allowed past guards. Kuhner noted the strangeness of being barred from her neighborhood, especially when wanting to help.
“It’s weird not being able to … go to my neighbor’s house and grab their things because I have some elderly neighbors who can’t go back in there until it’s completely 100% fine,” Kuhner said. “I just feel helpless. I want to help them, but I know it’s not safe.”
In the days following the start of the fires, an outpour of support and resources were shared on social media. In the aftermath of the fire, Kuhner noticed amid the shock, the community came together.
“Everyone has just been kind of looking out for each other, contacting each other. It’s been very supportive, but I think everyone’s really devastated and just in shock still,” Kuhner said. “I don’t really know how everyone else is feeling, but I know me and my family are at least feeling very supported.”
Kuhner spoke about when they would return to the devastated area.
“My dad and I were talking,” Kuhner said. “He’s like … ‘when we go back there, it’s just gonna be so quiet, it’s gonna be so eerie.’ We’re keeping the house for sure; I mean, it’d be stupid to move, but I don’t even know how long it’s going to be before we go back in. It’s scary.”
Mayrand explained how people have a window of tolerance when it comes to everyday stress versus traumatic stress. The window includes everyday stressors that come with things like classes, homework and deadlines, but stress beyond that can cause duress. Mayrand listed things to watch out for when dealing with stress outside of that window, like hypervigilance, difficulty sleeping, relaxing or handling stressors of everyday life.
“If it starts to be outside of that kind of window of tolerance where you start to feel like, ‘gosh, my anxiety has really risen and is no longer at a place that I feel like is manageable,’ and it’s starting to really be elevated,” Mayrand said. “That’s when I would start to, you know, pay attention and see if there’s additional support that you need, either with your group of friends, your family, to add more regulating skills or calming skills, or to [seek counseling].”
Kuhner and Miles both spoke about their hometowns in L.A. County, compared to how they’ve been portrayed in the media.
“I’ve been seeing a lot of news reports on social media and stuff,” Kuhner said. “There’s a few celebrities who live in this neighborhood; it’s pretty close to Hollywood. I’ve only seen news reports on that stuff, and it honestly makes me angry. It pisses me off because that’s only such a small portion of the community.”
Kuhner gave insight on the Pacific Palisades community and how connected they are.
“I want people to know that the majority of the community are hard-working families, and they’ve lived in L.A. their whole lives, they give back,” Kuhner said. “You go to the grocery store, you know someone who happens to know your brother and who happens to know your neighbors, and it’s just it’s such an interconnected community, and you don’t really get that in L.A., so it’s such a special place.”
CAPS would like to encourage those affected physically or psychologically to reach out to schedule an appointment at caps@humboldt.edu or call (707) 826-3236.
Savana Robinson is a senior journalism major and news editor of The Lumberjack, as well as a multimedia journalist at Redwood News. She loves motorcycles, cats and video games.
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