by The Lumberjack team
Sexy costumes:
Jimmy Buffett (RIP) – Embody the spirit of the greatest man to ever live, the mayor of Margaritaville himself: Jimmy Buffett. Wear a Hawaiian shirt, a few buttons open, some shorts and a flip-flop or two. It’s not just about what you wear, but how you act. Chill out all night and make sure your drink never stays empty for too long. Come Monday, your head may hurt, your feet could stink and you won’t love Jesus, but you’ll be the coolest guy around.
Diet Coke – Nothing’s hotter than an ice cold Diet Coke fresh from the fridge. Fancy silver outfit with red highlights — #bombdotcom. I know what you’re saying — “oh that’s just a can of soda,” or “wah, this feeds into our late stage capitalistic object idolatry, don’t support an evil corporation.” Yeah, well. You ever had a diet coke? Pretty good, huh? Why don’t you pop the tab and see what’s inside.
Silent Hill Nurse – A lotta sexy, a lotta scary. Generic white nurse dress, some gauze, some dirt and red food coloring splattered. Leave holes for the eyes!
Couple costumes:
Rango and Beans – A tale as old as time — you need an easy couples costume that your boyfriend will think is cool enough to commit to. What’s cooler than an aspiring actor turned wild west outlaw, who also happens to be a lizard? I think nothing. All you need is an old-timey looking grey dress and some baby bangs. Get your partner a Hawaiian shirt and some cowboy boots and you guys are ready to save the town of Dirt — or blackout at a houseshow, your call.
Islanders from Love Island 2025 – Two hot new bombshells have entered the Villa! Since Halloween in college has devolved into an excuse to dress slutty and act debaucherous on the weekend, why not cut out the middleman of attaching something novel to your outfit? Swimshorts, a bikini, excellent genetics and a couple of empty craniums are all you’ll need and more!
Beavis and Butt head – “Uh, huh huh huh,” – Butt Head… “Heh, heh” -Beavis. Want to annoy everyone at your Halloween party? Beavis and Butt head are the perfect excuse to be low effort and ragebait the huzz.
Scary Costumes:
Jigsaw – Suit. Red bowtie. Face paint. Buttons for eyes or black contacts. Tricycle. Let’s play a game. The mask can stay on for all I care.
Biblically accurate angel – A little more of an artsy costume — if you were one of those kids that spent the entire class period drawing a hyperrealistic eye, this one’s for you! Draw a bunch of eyes all over your face, throw on a white dress with a white shawl and go scare the local kids. Extra points if you can secure some wings on short notice.
Pyramid Head – Put a big triangle on your head, show off that body and become the manifestation of one man’s inner guilt and shame. Don’t forget to make yourself ambiguously dirty. What’s that all over your skin? Who knows!
Funny:
Bob from One Battle After Another – Putting together this costume is really easy. All you need is a flannel bath robe, grey shirt and sweat pants, a pair of thick black sunglasses and a beanie. The more sweat and grease they’re covered in, the better. Plus, if you need another excuse to smoke pot all night, this is it.
Sheldon Plankton – The ideal costume for any man under six-feet-tall. A gross green outfit — perhaps a bodysuit — and some weird little antennae on the top of your head, and perhaps an eyepatch to sell the look. Bring a scheming attitude and stuff your little sleeves full of tricks to acquire the secret formula!
Worm God Robert F. Kennedy – Embrace the worm within. Destroy your voice, ruin your friendships, vax shame everyone around you. Feel the worm in your brain and let it guide you. Only requires some sort of pink tube for you to exist inside of and an immense lack of respect for your vocal cords. Don’t be a sheep. Be a Worm God.
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