By Noah Pond
Bugs — why are they so damn annoying? You’re trying to fall asleep at night and that pesky mosquito keeps eeeeeeeeee-ming around your head and in your ear. Or, you order a burger and choose outdoor dining and you literally watch a fly rub his grubby little hands together, spit on them, and then start rubbing down your meal. Either way, you’re infuriated by such a little creature and its little actions.
Well, what if I told you, eating those nasty buggers could solve your problems.
Me and my oldest friend used to pluck ants out of their marching line and toss them in our mouths for a little zip of spice while we were running around the backyard.
Before you start freaking out, let me just say, you already eat bugs.
The Kerria Llacca is a bug that dwells in the far east. Specifically, Thailand, China, and India. They live as a parasite in the Ber tree, (Ziziphus mauritiana) feeding off of its branches and secreting a sticky nest to protect themselves while they feast. Their nest is then harvested, precariously, and melted down into shellac.
Shellac is on so much shit, dude; most citrus fruits, apples, candy, chocolate, jelly beans, and even coffee beans. That’s why lemons from the grocery store are so much more waxy than those you would grow at home.
But, I’m okay with that, and I’m gonna convince you why you should be okay with it, too.
When I first heard of Kerria Lacca and shellac, I was low-key appalled. I was like, ‘“How are we just okay with eating these secretions?’ But, I have given it more thought and decided it is no different from eating honey. Bees collect pollen and bring it back to the hive to secrete wax and honey. Sometimes, I’ll go to Wildberries and just cop a honey stick when I get to the register. Once I realized that eating honey and being — bee-ing, lol — grossed out by shellac was hypocritical, I decided I’m pro bug-eating.
Why don’t we eat more bugs?
They are high in protein, better for the environment than meat, and lower in cost. In addition, more than 2 billion people eat bugs on a daily basis. Popular bugs to eat are ants, mealworms, grasshoppers, and butterfly larvae.
If you are eating meat but feel guilty about the environment, maybe you should switch to bugs. The National Library of Medicine did a study looking at the protein content of bugs (crickets, honeybees, silkworms, and mealworms) compared to meat. The study found that when compared to chicken, pork, and beef, these bugs have 9.9 to -35g of protein per 100 grams, whereas meat only has 16.8 to -20g of protein per 100 grams.
I know all the gym bruhs who have been wasting their money on their Chipotle bowls and meal prep are mad giddy reading that protein value. Realistically, I see bugs being part of a balanced meal in the future, whether it be because the cows farted their last farts, or 5 billion people take a page out of 2 billion peoples books. The bug revolution is coming.
Noah Pond is a reporter and opinion editor for the Lumberjack. During his free time he enjoys cold beer and his skateboard.
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