It’s time to jump your situationship
By Jasmin Shirazian
I usually answer questions from my lovely readers in this column, but I’ve gotten a few very similar ones that I wanted to make a general comment on. I want to put it very clearly; situationship, bitch-uationship — that shit is not real. You are either talking, dating, or in a clarified relationship with set boundaries. There’s only one person standing in the gray area of situationships, and it’s the person that calls it situationship.
I get it, you like this person, you’ve invested time into your relationship, but you haven’t clarified where you stand. The fear that comes with the dreaded, “What are we?” is something many people have to face. Well, you have to ask; what’s stopping you? If you know you’re going to get an answer you don’t like, then why are you there in the first place? Why waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t care enough for your company to make a space for it in their life?
And I think it usually boils down to not wanting to be alone. We’re social creatures, sure, but I think the emphasis put on having romantic relationships, especially from a young age, doesn’t help. But who doesn’t love love? And I know we’re sick of hearing the whole, “You have to love yourself to be loved by others,” blah-blah-blah, because that’s not particularly true – plenty of people can love you in any state, but it’s a matter of what love you’re accepting when you don’t love yourself. If you aren’t enjoying your own company and you don’t enjoy yourself, you will allow other people to treat you the same way you treat yourself. Because, I mean, what else do you think you deserve? I don’t think you deserve that, but you set the bar for the love you accept.
Love isn’t supposed to be hard. That’s not to say you won’t go through hard times with your partner, or that you won’t fight or make mistakes you have to overcome, but you’ll still love each other nonetheless. If someone wanted to be with you, boast about you as their partner, they would.
Again, there’s only ever one person in a situationship — the other person usually just calls it their roster. The real problem here is a lack of communication. You can date someone and also date other people, you can be in a talking stage that’s exclusive, but a situationship is really just an unfortunate situation where one person wants to communicate and the other doesn’t.
Jump your situationship; refocus your love and energy into the relationships in your life that are proud to have you in theirs.
xoxo,
Jasmin Shirazian is the curly-haired head copy editor and social media manager for The Lumberjack. She is a TV show enthusiast and a cat lover.
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