In some ways, I agree with the four agreements
By Alexandra Berrocal
I am doing this week’s book review on the request of Andres Felix Romero, one of the other journalists on The Lumberjack. He asked me to do a review on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and so I shall.
This book was released in 1997. Ruiz is an author who is popular in New Thought circles. New Thought focuses on ancient teachings as a means of achieving spiritual enlightenment. He is a Mexican author and Toltec Wisdom Master who derives his spiritual texts from Toltec teachings. The main theme of this book is that it shares four agreements you can make with yourself in order to achieve a perfectly happy life. The four agreements are to be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. This is pretty sensible advice.
However, the author seems to feel the need to dress up his message and sometimes speaks in a way that is vague. To be impeccable with your word may seem simple to put into practice, but the meaning of the word impeccable isn’t always clear. The meaning of “your word” isn’t always clear either, because the author starts talking about emotional poison and black magic, which doesn’t resonate with me.
The rest of this book makes sense, though. However, it may be a bad idea not to take anything personally. Behind this assumption is the assumption that if you hurt someone and they are hurt by your actions, that’s their problem. That’s not right. People should hold each other accountable for their actions. You shouldn’t just brush it off and say, “Oh, I hurt you? That’s your problem.” Other than these overtones and all of the magical stuff, this was a very good book with very good advice.
However, I do object to the author’s stance on mental illness. He says that psychotic mental illness happens as a result of fear and pain. That isn’t true. Psychosis is a disease of the brain that can be passed down from generation to generation. At least, that has been my experience of mental illness. Assuming the origins of someone’s suffering in this way is very invalidating for people with disabilities of all kinds. Honestly, Ruiz should stick to talking about basic life issues, and leave discussion of mental illness to the psychiatrists and psychologists. I was — mostly — behind him until he started going on about that. I am a person with mental illness. I do not appreciate that sort of thing at all.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that he promises an end to all of your suffering, just like Byron Katie, another self-help guru. Katie sells four questions. Ruiz sells four agreements. I actually prefer Ruiz’s method to attaining happiness over Katie’s. I mean, I agree a lot with both. I can’t pretend that Katie hasn’t influenced me over the years that I’ve known about her work. However, it kind of drove me crazy after a while so I decided to stop using her method. I could see Ruiz’s method driving me crazy in a similar way, blaming all of my small frustrations on bad “agreements” I have made with myself.
I think people just need to realize that suffering is a part of life, and trying to have a life free from suffering will just make it worse. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try to help yourself if you’re suffering. It’s sad, though. To someone who is really, really suffering, an offer of heaven on earth looks tempting. However, we need to realize it’s not real. Then maybe, just maybe, we can live decent lives while we have them.
Alexandra Berrocal is a journalism major at Cal Poly Humboldt. She has self published fifteen short books. In her spare time, she loves to read books and chat with her friends on Discord. If you enjoy reading their book reviews, or you have a suggestion for a book to read, feel free to email them at alexandraberrocal@gmail.com
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