Dear Jasmin,
i’ve struggled since elementary to make friends, and i’m having the same trouble in college. i’ve developed bad social anxiety from bullying and a stutter when talking to people as well, which is a stark contrast with making friends online, as i’m loud and over excited when behind the screen. i know the answer isn’t just “go outside more” because i’ve been trying that for years, is there any advice you have?
While i may not have much advice that you haven’t already heard before, I can offer some comfort and solace in the fact that I’ve heard this same complaint from a number of my friends, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s almost as if being in isolation for damn near three years took a toll on everyone’s social abilities.
If you’re comfortably active online, there are various communities on different platforms, such as Discord, Instagram, even YikYak, where you can perhaps find someone locally to form a strong enough relationship online that it can be transferred to a physical friendship. obviously, when it comes to making friends on the internet, you have to be really careful about what information you give and who you give it to, but I have so many online friends that I’ve had since I was 14, that I’m still close with at the age of 21, so there are definitely good people out there.
If you’re a Humboldt local, I know the Humboldt discord is regularly and actively used. you could also find communities with similar interests on Instagram by looking up keywords relating to your hobbies. Rock climbing, skate night, Dungeons and Dragons – those are just a few activities in the community that I know for a fact gather frequently.
The most important thing you can do, and I know you’ve heard it before, is put yourself out there in those positions to meet people. However, if meeting people online comes easiest to you, try to find a local online community that you could potentially feel comfortable meeting with in person.
xoxo,
jasmin
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